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New baby jitters!


Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss

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  • 1 Post By ashj_1218

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  #1  
June 2nd, 2012, 07:46 PM
kaylakay's Avatar Love Being A Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Utah
Posts: 1,467
I seem to have "new baby jitters". I cannot wait for my LO to get here but then part of me is sad knowing it won't just be me and my husband anymore... I'm not ungrateful or anything! I just think since it's such a new thing I can't help but almost "grieve" my old life... This baby girl is such a blessing and I know I'll love her more than anything! She is gonna make us a family of 3 and I'll get to know DH and I made that little being... I'm just nervous on how things are going to change I guess.

Anyone else go through this? I think it's just nerves... Haha
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  #2  
June 2nd, 2012, 07:54 PM
geogeek's Avatar Marsi's Mommy
Join Date: May 2009
Location: In yonder mountains
Posts: 9,340
Oh man did I go through this! I didn't want to share Marsi with anyone else. Even now, I mourn my old life with just DH and I. Don't get me wrong!!! I love Marsi more than anything in the world! I love dragging her around everywhere. But, the days that we are out shopping and Marsi decides to have a breakdown, I do mourn for my old life. It is completely normal. My suggestion, find a babysitter you know and love, and try to go out with just you and your DH every once in a while. This is coming from someone who has only done this one time in Marsi's 7 months...it isn't easy. I am still trying to balance baby and DH.
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  #3  
June 3rd, 2012, 09:25 AM
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 620
I could not agree more with everything that Rachel said.

IMO, it's very important to still make time for you and your husband. Matt and I have left Olivia with his parents probably 4 or 5 times now. We don't always go out, but just to have a night where it's just us.
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  #4  
June 4th, 2012, 06:52 AM
ashj_1218's Avatar Hiya!
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 11,973
It is GOOD you are thinking about this now. I think if people don't stop and take time to consider the changes, they are more likely to be blindsided by them and become resentful or stressed out by them.

Yes, your pre-baby life is going to end and things will be different. In some ways, you will mourn that...be it the ease of going to the beach (one of my biggest) or the late-night tv watching. But in some ways, you will rejoice in it. Having a child has ultimately made me more confident, grateful, and relaxed (yep, for real!). So there ends up being that new balance of the good and the not-so-good. And admitting you mourn parts of your old life doesn't mean you are not grateful for your daughter or that you dont love her. Dont feel guilty. It is a natural reaction to the changes.

Fwiw: based on the questions you ask on here and the insight you have in regards to what will change....I think you will do beautifully in motherhood. It might not be "easy" but you seem really realistic and not afraid to say what you're feeling about it. I think you are starting WAY ahead of most new mamas
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  #5  
June 4th, 2012, 07:09 AM
3Sapphires's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: the mountain state
Posts: 11,678
I do still miss my old life - I wouldn't trade my kids for anything, but sometimes it is hard to not miss the things you used to do as just a couple.

I had a harder time going from 1 kid to 2 kids, couldn't wrap my head around how I could love someone else just as much - turns out it just happens.

This time, I'm not so worried about how I will love another, it is more I can't believe I have 2 kids that are completely potty trained, and self sufficient - mostly, and now I am starting over. Am I nuts!?!
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  #6  
June 4th, 2012, 08:16 AM
Belita's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 12,105
I've worried about this, too. Especially since DH and I are on the fast track and have only been together just under two years. Having a family is all we've ever wanted and neither one of us are getting any younger, so the timing was just right. I do sometimes wish we had more time just the two of us first, but I'm also looking forward to life as a family.
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