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how do i not just break down


Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss

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  #1  
July 23rd, 2012, 07:49 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: buffalo,ny
Posts: 1,492
* sorry about my spelling im on my laptop and spell check is not working*

how do i just not break down and cry i am so scared yesterday and today i was like yes this is it and tonight i started thinking about baby things i would need and bam! now im crying shaking and thinking somethings going wrong. so heres just a few thoghts im having just need to get them out

1 i had a dark test darker then i did with the past 2 losses so i should be ok right?
2 i didnt have impantation bleeding witch i didnt have with audie but i did have with the m/c good thing i think?
3 i have this cyst on my overy its a dermoid cyst they are worried about it but ay its fine right now because its not growing and theres no blood going to it. so im ok right? i dont no
4 im not worried about an ectopic they are thinking my ectopic was not even one now that i was a m/c wont no more about that till the 31 but then i would have had 2m/c i dont no whats werce
5 why me how could i go from a perfect pregnancy with audie to this could i realy have two losses then have a health baby with nothing being medical wrong with me it just dosint seem possible

so thows are my mian thoughts right now im trying to be positive but its so hard. and my good friend is due the same day i am so if i have a loss ill have to deal with that witch has happend with every lost jsut never on the same day . we wher pregnant with are first babys a week apart so its nice to have someone to go thre this with again but will be hard if i dont make it.

am i crazy lol i no what ever happens happens and i just have to do my best to keep my head up high but is so hard.
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Last edited by audiesmommy; July 23rd, 2012 at 07:53 PM.
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  #2  
July 24th, 2012, 12:51 AM
doremi's Avatar Team Blue Mama of Two
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: USA
Posts: 17,491
You're not crazy. All of your emotions are totally normal when you have been through the trauma of pregnancy loss. I am here to tell you (along with many others) that you CAN have multiple losses and come out of it with a healthy baby at the end of it all! Josiah was my first pregnancy, and everything went perfectly. Then I had two miscarriages in a row. Now I am 26 weeks pregnant with Jamison, and everything is going perfectly. The beginning of my pregnancy with him, I had so many fears, and even though I was excited to be pregnant, I was SO scared. I was terrified waiting for the beta's to come back, terrified going into our 6 week u/s, then I started spotting, and was terrified I was miscarrying. It turned out I had a cervical polyp that was keeping my cervix from closing all the way. They wouldn't operate until the second trimester, so even though they said everything should be fine, the whole first trimester, I was an emotional wreck. Then came surgery, of course I was stressed about that. And then came the big gender u/s... I was panicking silently the night before that they were going to find something wrong with the baby. But, each of these hurdles have been jumped, and I'm still pregnant with a healthy baby boy!!!!! Just take it one day at a time, and know that you are not alone. We all struggle to let go of the fear and anxiety when pregnant after loss... it goes with the territory. Loss forever changes you... you lose your innocence. But even though it is not always possible, TRY to find joy in each new day that you are pregnant. Each day is a gift, each month is a gift. And I'm hoping and praying that at the end of it all, you're holding a sweet baby in your arms!
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  #3  
July 24th, 2012, 10:16 AM
lindsey2000k's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Ohio
Posts: 5,965
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you are far from crazy. I have had 4 losses one before my first child then 3 between them. I have had many of the thoughts you are thinking.
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  #4  
July 24th, 2012, 03:58 PM
Hopefulpinkangel's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 2,536
I know it's hard! Just try to take it one day at a time!
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  #5  
July 26th, 2012, 02:56 PM
Happy Song's Avatar Nicole
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 10,794
I know how you feel and there is every oppertunity for this pregnancy to be perfect even with multiple losses. I lost three babies between Scarlett and Beau and now I ma onto my third perfect pregnancy. Some times life is fickle.
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