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Irrational reasons for being freaked out!


Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss

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  #1  
October 23rd, 2012, 08:45 AM
ashj_1218's Avatar Hiya!
Join Date: Jul 2010
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So, last night I had a dream that at my next appt (the 31st) they couldn't find the baby at all. It was a weird dream, not really "normal" sonogram but they clearly couldn't find the baby or the heartbeat.

And then this morning I was trying to find the heartbeat on Doppler (haven't found it yet...still trying regularly) and my three-year-old came over and said "No more baby. Baby comes out. No baby in there." And I said "We just saw the baby last week, remember." And he remained adamant that the baby was gone and not in there anymore.



I am trying really hard to look at it rationally and say "It was a fear dream and Liam doesn't know what he is talking about." I have been panicking about reduced symptoms some recently. But I have been nauseous this morning and irritable like usual. And it's probably just too early to hear the heartbeat, I didn't pick up Kierans until 10+4.

PAL sucks.
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  #2  
October 23rd, 2012, 08:51 AM
Kalynas_Mom's Avatar Super Mommy
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That sounds like a horrible dream. The other night I had a dream I miscarried this pregnancy. it was really vivid and I remembered everything. it was just horrible. I think when we sleep, our subconscious fears come to light through our dreams.
PAL really does suck ((hugs))
Also I didn't get a hb on the doppler with DD until almost 11 weeks, so try not to stress about that just yet
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  #3  
October 23rd, 2012, 01:25 PM
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Just want to empathize; PAL is indeed really rough. I was a basket case my entire first trimester.

Also, I didn't find the baby's HB until about 11 weeks either. After that though and until he started moving regularly, that Doppler was a godsend. Best $70 I ever spent.

I hope the next few weeks fly by for you!!!
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  #4  
October 23rd, 2012, 01:30 PM
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That is rough Ashlee. Like you say, rationally it means nothing, but some primitive symbolic part of the mind just seizes on stuff like that. I hope you get some reassurance soon.
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  #5  
October 23rd, 2012, 02:35 PM
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Im sorry for the bad dream. Hopefully tonight you have a really good dream to make yourself feel better. Hopefully in a few days you will be able to find the HB. That is a good idea to get a doppler. I may have to invest in one of those!
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  #6  
October 23rd, 2012, 03:55 PM
8miraclez's Avatar Formerly Halfbaked
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They sound like rational fears to me. I'm having really bad ms and I still worry constantly. I don't think you ever relax after a loss.
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  #7  
October 23rd, 2012, 05:51 PM
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sorry. PAL IS hard!
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  #8  
October 24th, 2012, 09:55 AM
melissalaw's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I'm so sorry for the bad dream. PAL is very difficult. You are probably right that it is a little early to hear the heartbeat on the doppler. I think Jacob was a little over 10 weeks, almost 11 weeks before I could find his and even then I couldn't find it everytime until around 12 weeks which just caused me to freak out even more.

Can you call your dr and see about getting in to see him before the 31st? I know for me whenever I would freak out, I would call the dr and they would get me in for an u/s or a heartbeat check just to put my mind at east which is so very important early in a pregnancy.
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  #9  
October 24th, 2012, 12:02 PM
lindsey2000k's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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PAL does suck.
Even MAL (motherhood after loss). Last night I went to go to bed and Bryson was already sleeping in my bed and DH had gotten into bed about 5 minutes before I did. I laid my hand on Bryson's chest and DH said "what the heck are you doing?" I said "checking to make sure he is still breathing" He then said " your nuts" and rolled over and went to bed. Every time he is very still I have that heartdrop moment and lay my hand on him to feel for breathing. I just keep thinking he is going to stop breathing for some reason.
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  #10  
October 24th, 2012, 12:24 PM
melissalaw's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lindsey2000k View Post
PAL does suck.
Even MAL (motherhood after loss). Last night I went to go to bed and Bryson was already sleeping in my bed and DH had gotten into bed about 5 minutes before I did. I laid my hand on Bryson's chest and DH said "what the heck are you doing?" I said "checking to make sure he is still breathing" He then said " your nuts" and rolled over and went to bed. Every time he is very still I have that heartdrop moment and lay my hand on him to feel for breathing. I just keep thinking he is going to stop breathing for some reason.
Lindsey I do the same thing. Jacob will be 6 months tomorrow and I'm still getting up several times a night to check on him and make sure he is breathing. And yes DH thinks I'm nuts too.
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  #11  
October 24th, 2012, 06:56 PM
ohnicole's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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The things kids say! They have the power to totally freak me out... combined with a bad dream, it is totally understandable that you are feeling worried. If it were me, I would rather call the doctor to get in early than sit at home worrying... but I have no patience I hope you find the heartbeat on the doppler soon so you can ease your mind!
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  #12  
October 24th, 2012, 07:38 PM
Belita's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I'm sure it was just a bad dream and your son doesn't understand what he's saying. I had dreams early in pregnancy and even later on in pregnancy of stillbirth. It sucks!

Checking for the breathing is why I got an Angelcare monitor!
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  #13  
October 25th, 2012, 05:53 PM
martilynne's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I would be freaked out too...PAL is scary
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