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Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss

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  • 1 Post By melissalaw
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  #1  
December 9th, 2012, 02:58 PM
EverydayJoy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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....worrying about labor & delivery yet? Some days I think about it a lot. I'm barely even halfway along! I plan on doing everything au naturale so I'm hoping it's a little less painful than my son's delivery (induced, no pain meds). I've thought about an epidural but the thought of a needle in my spine scares me more than the pain of labor does! I just hope everything goes well and I don't tear too badly, etc etc etc. Plus my hubby is gone for long stretches of time so I worry about him being across the country in his truck when labor starts. But he does want to ask his mom to come be with me when I get close to my due date.
I guess I don't know what to expect with labor because my last one was induced! I don't know if I'll be early, overdue, on time, or whether labor will be short or long. I don't know whether it will go fast and if I have to worry about getting to the hospital on time when I get close! Agh! I guess since I'm not so worried for the baby's health right now my mind is fixating on something else. Since losing one I seem to always be worrying about something. Stupid brain, lol!
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  #2  
December 9th, 2012, 03:35 PM
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This is my 3rd baby so im not worried about delivery but i am worried about having a preemie again and trying to juggle my 2 kids at home and one in the nicu. Im prone to early labor so it makes me nervous. I think as moms we always worry about something.
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  #3  
December 9th, 2012, 06:13 PM
EverydayJoy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I think you're right. I hope for your sake this baby stays in long enough to go home with you!
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  #4  
December 9th, 2012, 09:01 PM
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I'm worrying about it... I'm a FTM and I'll be 5 days overdue tomorrow and my midwife is now unavailable. I'll now be using her assistant, who's also a CPM, but who I don't have quite as much trust in. I'm also trying to go all natural, in fact I want a water birth and that's the biggest reason that I don't want to birth at the hospital. I have no idea what to expect or when and it's really driving me crazy. At this point I'm just praying that I don't go long enough to need to be induced...
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  #5  
December 9th, 2012, 10:07 PM
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I'm sorry you're having to wait so long. That really sucks! I remember pacing the floors that last few days before my due date...I did end up induced due to low amniotic fluid, and at the time I thought, awesome! No more waiting! But I really wanted to do no pain meds and being induced is killer in that regard. I mean I made it through, but it was pretty painful. So my advice is to stall induction as long as possible! I have read that whether you let a mom go past 2 weeks, or induce her, the risk either way is very small of harm to mom or baby. So I would fight for that so long as baby and you are healthy.
I'm sorry your normal midwife is not available now! That sucks too. It feels scary to have things like that be out of your control. Do you have any friends or family that have done natural birthing/water birth that could sort of be there to support you along with the assistant? Or maybe a doula might be a good thing, if you can afford it. I know it's really late in the game, just some thoughts.
I definitely like the idea of water birth myself, my hospital allows it for a fee so I'm going to go that route. I labored in warm water with my son and it really sped things along and did help some with pain management.
If it would help I can give you some links to natural-type birth articles to help you know what to expect. I know the fear though, and despite my fears my son came out perfect, his APGAR scores were 9 at birth and 10, 10 minutes later. He was pink and healthy and the midwife put him right up on my chest. He nursed like a champ and I was surprised at how much energy I felt right after all that work. Both me and him were alert and aware, looking into each other's eyes minutes after he was born. I do definitely recommend no drugs if at all possible! I think it helped him to be so alert and responsive at birth. Hey and if I can help with any questions you might have you're welcome to PM me too. This will only be my 2nd time around, but if my experience can help you, then great!
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  #6  
December 9th, 2012, 10:25 PM
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Not me. I am actually excited. I know what it's like and I know what I want it to be like this time, instead of just going with the flow as someone else sets the tone.
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  #7  
December 10th, 2012, 12:53 AM
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That's cool, Erica. I'll have a doula this time, so I'm hoping that will help me set the tone better this time. Will you have a home birth?
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  #8  
December 10th, 2012, 06:11 AM
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I was induced both times but I did worry especially with my second once since my labor started at 33 weeks but then stopped. He was eventually induced because once labor stopped, it didn't start back up. I know if I get pregnant again I will not have an epidural. I had alot of complications from the epi with Jacob so I have vowed to never have one again.

I think it is natural to worry but once it starts, everything will be fine. I hope your hubby is here when it does start though. My DH was out of town alot when I was pregnant with Jacob and I worried alot about that but thankfully he was here when Jacob did arrive.
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  #9  
December 10th, 2012, 08:56 AM
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Melissa, what kind of complications did you have with the epi? I'm just curious because so many women say how wonderful it is but I have my reservations...
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  #10  
December 10th, 2012, 10:46 AM
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They nicked my spine when they put the epi in which caused spinal fluid to leak out. While I had the epi in my whole body went numb. I couldn't feel my hands or anything below my waist so it stopped the pain. Then it started affecting my blood pressure and my blood pressure got really low. The nurse kept having to give me ephedrin to increase my blood pressure. The dr finally had to use the vacuum to get Jacob out because I was so numb I couldn't bear down to push him out.

After the epi wore off, I had a spinal headache because the spinal fluid was still leaking out. The spinal headache was the worst headache I have ever had. It caused me to throw up and I had a very difficult time taking care of Jacob the first few days of his life. I finally had a blood batch which patched the leak, but the first one didn't take so I had to do it again and it worked that time so the headaches went away. I think what happened to me is very rare but I know that for me anyway, I would rather have a few hours of total pain than go through what I went through after Jacob was born.

I did have an epi with Jackson and had no problems at all with it which is why I had no problems getting one when I was pregnant with Jacob but if we do have another baby I will definitely have a natural delivery.
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  #11  
December 10th, 2012, 12:14 PM
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Wow, that really sucks. I've heard several accounts of people getting that kind of spinal headache from it and having to have a blood patch put in. I can't imagine being in that kind of pain immediately after birth. Seems like the pain of labor would be easier to bear, you sort of go into your own little world and it's not completely unbearable.
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  #12  
December 10th, 2012, 12:43 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by EverydayJoy View Post
Wow, that really sucks. I've heard several accounts of people getting that kind of spinal headache from it and having to have a blood patch put in. I can't imagine being in that kind of pain immediately after birth. Seems like the pain of labor would be easier to bear, you sort of go into your own little world and it's not completely unbearable.
I agree. I would rather be in pain for a little while than for several days like I was.
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  #13  
December 10th, 2012, 01:46 PM
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I'm still very early so delivery is far away for me and I haven't begun to worry about it. Although I am worrying a bit about the first year after this baby is born...it's going to be crazy to juggle a newborn, 15 month old, and 4 year old! Funny bc that comes after the delivery but I'm thinking about that more
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  #14  
December 10th, 2012, 01:48 PM
EverydayJoy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Yeah I'm wondering about that too! I have a 3 year old at home, so less kids than you, but still, he wakes a couple times a night still, and I worry about having a newborn and a toddler crying for mommy at the same time...
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  #15  
December 10th, 2012, 01:57 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by EverydayJoy View Post
Yeah I'm wondering about that too! I have a 3 year old at home, so less kids than you, but still, he wakes a couple times a night still, and I worry about having a newborn and a toddler crying for mommy at the same time...
I was worried about that also when I was pregnant with Cole. Chase was 3 and 1 month when Cole was born. It's gone a lot better than I thought Chase loves his brother so much and likes to help so that's good because then he is getting attention from me as my special helper when I'm taking care of Cole at the same time. Of course there was an adjustment period, but things are going good now Hoping that's how it will be adding another one too!
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  #16  
December 11th, 2012, 06:10 AM
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I think we all worry about labor, whether it's our first or not Or worry about something having to do with the new baby...it's only natural!

I had an epi with both of my girls and no complications. For me, I had to be induced both times, the girls just were way too comfy...my first baby had meconium in her waters when it broke and had to be in the NICU for the 2 days I was in the hospital - she never showed signs of distress, so I was really glad that I was induced - I made it to 9 cm before the pain became unbearable with her. With my 2nd baby, I was glad I got the epi a little earlier, because the anesthesiologist was standing there watching my contractions and her eyes got so big I thought they were going to pop out of her head...she said, did you feel that, I said feel what? The epi had taken affect, thank goodness because she said she had never seen a contraction that big...lol! No wonder I had her so quickly!

Anyways, it can go both ways, for me the epi was my saving grace and I felt completely fine after my 2nd baby was born, I was really worn out with the first one, but not from the epi, I wasn't good at pushing with her...lol! I don't know how you women that have natural childbirth do it, but you are amazing

I worried with both, with the 2nd it was, I wonder if my labor would go as quickly as the first, will I tear again, will I need another episiotomy, will the baby need to be in the NICU...luckily, I tore a little, but it was on my own and I healed so quickly from that I was amazed!

Becky, good luck with the upcoming birth, she should be here anyday now and I am so excited for you! I hope you get the birth that you have been hoping for!!
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