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Can I be here too? (preg mentioned)


Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss

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  • 1 Post By EverydayJoy

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  #1  
December 12th, 2012, 10:49 AM
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Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 370
Hi, ladies! I just joined the August DDC, but is it ok to post here too? I had a loss in october and it has just shaken me to my core. I am pregnant again, just over 4 weeks (AF was due this past Sunday). i am just so up and down, up and down, I can't seem to stay positive about this pregnancy. I have two children, 4 & 2, and had never had a m/c before. I am obsessed with every possible symptom and can't shake this sinking feeling. With the pregnancy I lost, I had symptoms very early and then felt "too good" a little over 5 weeks. Started bleeding at 7 weeks and ultrasound showed sac and no baby. I know it stopped growing when i stopped feeling symptoms. I try to be optimistic and excited and put it out of my head, but then i just get overwhelmed by this feeling of doom.
I know I can't do anything but wait and see what happens, and my first appointment is next Friday the 21st. I feel like i am losing symptoms again. My boobs are not as sore, I am not as tired, but my kids are still laying all over me, which I still take as a good sign I can occasionally feel a twinge of nausea, and appetite is decreased. And I can't remember how it was with my first pregnancies because I was just going with the flow. I wish I could be so relaxed again
Thanks for reading and allowing my to vent, I feel better. Hoping to get to know you all better!
-Denise
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  #2  
December 12th, 2012, 10:59 AM
melissalaw's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 14,259
Welcome. So glad you are joining. I'm so sorry about the loss you had in October. I know how hard a pregnancy after loss is and how you analyze every little thing. Please join right in and hopefully we can help give you some reassurance and comfort. You are still very early in your pregnancy so I wouldn't be concerned that you are not having alot of symptoms. I know in my last pregnancy I really didn't have any symptoms until around week 8.

Congratulations. I'm hoping that you have a happy healthy 9 months. Please let us know how your dr appointment goes next Friday.
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  #3  
December 12th, 2012, 11:13 AM
lindsey2000k's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Ohio
Posts: 5,965
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Welcome.
So sorry about your loss. Pregnancy after loss if so hard.
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  #4  
December 12th, 2012, 01:12 PM
EverydayJoy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Pacific NW
Posts: 6,622
Hi there, and welcome!
I'm sorry you're feeling so pins-and-needles about this pregnancy, but I totally understand. With my current pregnancy I felt like I was pretty much just waiting to lose it like the last one until I think about 12 weeks, by then I had passed my loss date and had a couple of ultrasounds. Slowly I started to feel more optimistic about it. I still have freakout times where I think my boobs are deflating, or my stomach looks smaller. At this point I'm starting to feel baby moving regularly so it helps a LOT. Some women feel discouraged the whole pregnancy, and don't get excited until they're holding that baby in their arms. Whatever your feelings are, I wouldn't feel guilty about it, try to stay positive but don't beat yourself up if you are feeling that sense of impending doom. A loss really does change you. And it's sad to feel so scared, but you also have plenty of time to bond with your little one after the delivery. We all just do the best we can!
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  #5  
December 12th, 2012, 04:36 PM
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 2,259
Congrats!

Im sorry about your loss. A pregnancy after a loss is really hard. These ladies are great at giving advice and support.
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  #6  
December 12th, 2012, 09:06 PM
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Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 370
Thank you all for such kind and supportive words, it really has calmed me down. It means so much to know that you all know exactly what I am going through, thank you. I have been trying to keep myself super occupied all afternoon/evening, it's definitely better for me than sitting and obsessing! Hopefully having my appointment next week will give me something to look forward to, and I can try to just chill until then. Thank you again, ladies!
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  #7  
December 12th, 2012, 09:20 PM
EverydayJoy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Pacific NW
Posts: 6,622
I'm glad you're feeling better! Feel free to post anytime you need to vent or share about how you're feeling. Pretty much can almost guarantee that we'll know just how you feel!
melissalaw likes this.
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  #8  
December 13th, 2012, 10:25 AM
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 6,057
Welcome and yes, it is very normal to feel ill at ease and "waiting for the other shoe to drop" for a long, long time. For many people it depends on their loss milestones too. My losses were both early and the fear does get much less for me in late pregnancy. But I think when you know things can and do go wrong, you are never as happy go lucky as someone who has never had a loss.

Keeping busy helps me A LOT. I have barely had any time to worry this pregnancy because I am so busy with my 18 month old rainbow baby!! Good luck and we are here whenever you need to vent or need support!
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  #9  
December 13th, 2012, 10:59 AM
melissalaw's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 14,259
Glad you are feeling a bit better. Hopefully you can keep your mind occupied until next week and your dr can help put your mind at ease.
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  #10  
December 13th, 2012, 11:57 AM
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Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Delaware (the state!)
Posts: 7,233
Welcome and congrats! I am ss about your loss, it's so hard to be positive and not over analyze everything. I agree, keeping myself busy with work and my toddler helped a lot when I was pregnant with Addy.

My doctor always told me, try not to worry if one day your symptoms are less, that happens because hormones fluctuate so much, it isn't necessarily a sign of impending doom. Of course that is so hard after going through a loss, but I tried to tell myself on those "better" days.
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  #11  
December 13th, 2012, 12:01 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 1,650
Congratulations..

Quote:
My doctor always told me, try not to worry if one day your symptoms are less, that happens because hormones fluctuate so much, it isn't necessarily a sign of impending doom. Of course that is so hard after going through a loss, but I tried to tell myself on those "better" days.
Totally agree. I thought for sure I was going to have a second m/c after losing one back in March. I'm sitting here holding my little rainbow. I had minimal symptoms with her after 5 weeks.
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  #12  
December 13th, 2012, 01:24 PM
Alpha_allie1010's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: San Antonio TX
Posts: 5,070
I am in your same boat! I just got a faint BFP and I am really on edge. We lost our first baby March of 09 and got pregnant again Aug 09 and now have a two year old. Now I am remembering how much I hate the first trimester...
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  #13  
December 14th, 2012, 10:09 AM
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Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 370
You guys are awesome. I have bought into the every-pregnancy-is-different mantra and decided to stop worrying until i actually have something to worry about. I think i don't remember how i felt with my others b/c I didn't really feel anything. I clearly remember morning sickness starting around 6-7 weeks with both of them and that't it. I think because the loss is so fresh it is what my mind goes to for comparison. It's like living in a post-9/11 world. I will just never be the same.
Congrats to all of you with rainbow babies! Congrats on your BFP Alpha_allie!
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