[Papasgirl]

I have my first ultrasound scheduled for tomorrow afternoon at 2pm and I am a basket case. With my last pregnancy, I went in for an ultrasound at 6w5d because I had some spotting. They found a hb of 98 and I was measuring a full week behind...5w5d. I knew that was bad. The spotting continued and about 4 days later it became more of a light bleed. I had another ultrasound at 7w2d and the baby had died...no heartbeat The bleeding continued to get heavier so I stopped progesterone a few days later and I miscarried July 5. So here I am again, almost 6 months to the day having another ultrasound. I am so horrified that it will turn out bad. Mind you I have had no bleeding or anything to indicate something is wrong. But with three consecutive losses in 2012, i can't seem to wrap my head around the idea that it could all go right! I hope I am not being ridiculous. I just feel like today could be my last day of living in this bubble. I don't want to find a blighted ovum or no hb and have my bubble burst, but I also can't handle the stress of worrying and wondering. I am so sorry for whining. I am literally sick with fear!. I wish it were tomorrow night already so the whole thing would be behind me and I would know. Pray Pray Pray for a strong, healthy lilttle bean! GOD, PLEASE LET THIS BE THE ONE!!!!

[shen7]

Hugs!!! I am an ectopic survivor, at risk for a repeat and my first u/s for DD and this pregnancy were both terrifying. I know how you feel. The good news is, it will all be over soon. Lots of T&P for you to see a healthy bean in there!!!! Kup!

[lelila]

Stef, it is natural (so I'm told) to feel this scared. I can certainly relate as I think everyone on here can. Remember to breathe, take it one hour at a time and find hope in the power of your body.

GL and KUP

[bcogoli]

My current pregnancy started as twins and we lost one at almost 9 weeks. I had an ultrasound at 12 weeks and i cried walking into the room for it. Thankfully the tech understood. I kept my eyes closed until she played the heartbeat for me. It is very scary going for an ultrasound after a loss. Just try to relax and enjoy seeing your baby. Your very strong and you will do great! I will keep you all in my prayers.

[EverydayJoy]

Stefanie, you're not being ridiculous at all! I know for me with this pregnancy at first I was just waiting to lose it. I only had one loss, too, and you've had 3. It's very hard, but one day, one hour, one minute at a time...I will be keeping my fingers crossed for you! Keep us posted on how it goes!

[lindsey2000k]

Good luck tomorrow. Praying for a good strong heartbeat!

[sharilyn]

I have my first dr appointment tomorrow too, and I think they are doing an u/s and I'm pretty sure I won't be sleeping much tonight. I was almost in tears just thinking about it today. Hope everything goes well tomorrow? What time is your appointment? Mine's at 1.

[Papasgirl]

My appointment is at 2 today. We will have to leave by around 12:30 because its a about an hour away and we have to take the two babies etc. It is going to be a long day. I am a mess right now. I had no nausea yesterday at all so I am now literally terrified. I am so not ready for this bubble to burst. It may not, I know. Everything may be fine....but I just have this feeling of dread and fear. God help me through this day

[bcogoli]

Im praying for you. Please let us know how it goes.

[lindsey2000k]

Thinking about you.

[ohnicole]

I am keeping my fingers crossed that everything goes perfectly for you!

[humnck]

I know exactly how you feel and I pray that this day goes quickly for you! Fingers crossed and prayers sent for a healthy bean!! HUGS!

[EverydayJoy]

Having that feeling of dread is normal! At least, PAL normal. I remember it well. I hope you get some great news and that when you get back home you can relax and recuperate from the anxious day today!

[martilynne]

Good luck today! I don't think u/s ever get any easier...I had a growth u/s last week and was terrified even though I have already seen my healthy baby boy.

[lelila]

Stef - how did your appt go? We are all praying for you!

[ohnicole]

I hope it went perfectly!

[EverydayJoy]

Update when you can!

[princess136]

Thinking of you today and so hoping you have wonderful news to share. Please update when you can.

[Papasgirl]

Ladies, my sincerest apologies for not updating you all. I completely forgot to come here. I have been so wrapped up. Anyway, the scan went exactly as I feared...
Baby measured 5 days behind. So instead of 6w4d I measured 5w6d. The tech was kind of a flake. She kept insisting I was "WAY WAY earlier" than 6w4d. I must be off on my dates. Well, You cannot mistake getting your period on Thanksgiving day, trust me. Then I saw the little flicker of a hb and she told me that 5w6d is the absolute earliest day to see a heartbeat, and because it is so small and so low, she cannot get a tone on it for the machine to read. So i left there devastated, unsure of anything. I did make her give me a last look at my little baby with a beating heart before she finished up, just in case i never see s/he alive again. That little teeny beanie was beautiful.
My midwife called me the day after. She told me the report said....Singleton, live, uterine pregnancy with fetal pole and sac located, measuring 5w6d with LMP being 6w4d. HEARTBEAT 104 bpm! UM, what? Thought the tech couldnt read it! Anyway, then she goes on to tell me that there is a perigestational bleed surrounding 50 percent of the sac. She did tell me that is harmless and to expect to see spotting of light pink, but not a red flow. I have not seen that yet. She then told me because the baby is measuring small with a low heartbeat, I have a 50/50 shot of this baby surviving and not to get too attached.....um..... TOO LATE! UGH! She did tell me though, that dates on early ultrasound can be off by a full week. It could vary due to actual ovulation day, which I don't actually know ... it could be 2 days later than i thought....and implantation as well, although I had a positive test on 12/14. If we go by actual positive test day, the u.s was pretty right on, but that is not how it works unfortunately. SO, if I have no bleeding or if I have not already miscarried in two weeks, I go in again. so for now I sit and wait. so far...nothing. I only feel slight crampiness now and again...no bleeding, no heavy cramps...but also no nausea, no nothing....so I am losing hope without symptoms, but keeping hopeful without cramps and blood. i am on another rollercoater bound for disaterville. And to top it all off, my 41st birthday is on the 15th and my second loss angel-versary is on the 17th. I hate this month!

[lelila]

Such good news that they heard a heartbeat and got the rate! Keep good thoughts and don't strain yourself the next two weeks. Doctors always give the worst case scenario to cover themselves.

KUP