Log In Sign Up

saying goodbye (loss ment.)


Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss

Notices

Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to boards@justmommies.com.

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
  #1  
January 12th, 2013, 09:06 PM
Veteran
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 368
Hi, ladies. I haven't been on much over the holidays because I couldn't log on to JM with my computer. anyway, I finally got back on last week, but i experienced another loss this week. I have another blighted ovum :-( I am doing ok, really frustrated and really mad about it. I just don't understand why it keeps happening. I am going to take a few months off from TTC, try to figure out some answers and clear my head. I wish all of you the very best and I will hopefully be back when the time is right. Take care, Denise
__________________
me - D (39)
DH - T (45)


10/2012 (7weeks)
1/2013 (8 weeks)
10/2013 (11 weeks, trisomy 21)


My Ovulation Chart
Reply With Quote
  #2  
January 13th, 2013, 12:02 AM
EverydayJoy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Pacific NW
Posts: 6,583
Denise, I'm so sorry to hear this. That must be incredibly maddening for you. I wish there was something I could say to help, but I know there isn't anything that will make it any easier for you. My heart goes out to you. I hope you can find some answers! Hugs
__________________


Little Bud: Blooming in Heaven 1.24.12
Reply With Quote
  #3  
January 13th, 2013, 03:52 AM
Papasgirl's Avatar Down Syndrome Pregnancy
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Boston, Ma
Posts: 4,503
I am so very sorry for your loss. It can be so frustrating to not know or understand what is happening. I hope you get some answers soon. For now, don't dwell on the anger. Trust me, it doesn't help. Let yourself grieve, but the anger will eat you alive.
__________________
Stefanie, Wife to Paul, Mom to cailyn (13), caleigh (12), cameron (11) christopher (8), Lilly (3) and Emma(2) and Staci born 12/19/13
3/12/12 5/9/12 7/05/2012 1/24/13

Baby Girl Anastasia is my Rainbow!! Diagnosed with T21...
We will journey together
Reply With Quote
  #4  
January 13th, 2013, 07:38 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 6,057
I am sorry
__________________



Reply With Quote
  #5  
January 13th, 2013, 11:25 AM
EverydayJoy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Pacific NW
Posts: 6,583
I was very angry for quite awhile after my loss. I think sometimes anger can feel good, for me I would think sometimes about the other emotions I would be feeling if I wasn't feeling angry. I would have felt powerless, helpless, and out of control, so for me the anger was sort of a way to take control and feel strong. I don't recommend it for long term, but anger is a normal response to a loss. It's part of the process of trying to make sense of it. Something precious was taken away from you, it's natural to be angry about it.
__________________


Little Bud: Blooming in Heaven 1.24.12
Reply With Quote
  #6  
January 13th, 2013, 12:04 PM
TnPhotoMama81's Avatar Wife/Mommy/Photographer
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Oneida, TN
Posts: 8,355
Send a message via AIM to TnPhotoMama81 Send a message via Yahoo to TnPhotoMama81
so very sorry :[
__________________


My Photography Website Pinterest My Etsy Shop
Reply With Quote
  #7  
January 14th, 2013, 04:55 AM
lelila's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 2,869
I'm very sorry for your losses. Often it seems that there is simply no rhyme or reason to things. And that makes it all the more difficult.
__________________
Leia 40 yrs young

Wife to Big Bull 39
Mommy to Big Brother our first Miracle Feb 24 2006
Mommy to Little Brother, our Rainbow, March 24, 2014

Never Forgetting our Angels 2012, 2013
Reply With Quote
  #8  
January 14th, 2013, 05:17 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 2,259
Im sorry sweetie. A loss is so hard. Give yourself time to greive. Hopefully you will get some answers soon. Praying for you.
Reply With Quote
  #9  
January 14th, 2013, 05:43 AM
AimeeD041727's Avatar PowerPuffGirls
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: PA
Posts: 1,898
Sending thoughts and prayers your way.
__________________

Reply With Quote
  #10  
January 14th, 2013, 05:57 AM
melissalaw's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 14,105
I'm a so sorry for your loss. I completely understand being angry. I hope you get some answers. And I hope to see you back here once you start trying again.
__________________

Thank you *Kiliki* for my beautiful siggy
Reply With Quote
  #11  
January 14th, 2013, 09:25 AM
Veteran
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 368
Thank you so much for such kind replies. i do still feel angry, but not as intensely. I feel like i sort of grieved initially, but it was like I was trying, in my head, to will this pregnancy into success. But my heart knew better and I just never allowed myself to feel really attached. The first loss was different, I cried and cried and cried and felt so empty. Now I feel empty and ticked off. I am really trying to accept that there really may be no reason, just crap luck, and the doctor on Friday seemed to verify that ("unfortunately, it is not uncommon to have multiple losses" he said so delicately). But they are willing to dig a little deeper and I am willing to tread in to those waters, just not sure how deep i want to get. I have started to stock up again for TTC, I feel like that gives me some control for some reason, but it will be a while before i feel ready to really try again. Thanks again, ladies, I'm sorry to be a downer on a pregnancy board, but you all "get it" and I really appreciate the insight and support you have given.
__________________
me - D (39)
DH - T (45)


10/2012 (7weeks)
1/2013 (8 weeks)
10/2013 (11 weeks, trisomy 21)


My Ovulation Chart
Reply With Quote
  #12  
January 14th, 2013, 12:29 PM
lindsey2000k's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Ohio
Posts: 5,965
Send a message via Yahoo to lindsey2000k
I am so sorry
You are not a downer we have all been where you are and understand. I myself have come and gone from this room a couple of times.
__________________




http://lindseysphotography.com/
Reply With Quote
  #13  
January 14th, 2013, 12:33 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Delaware (the state!)
Posts: 6,770
I'm so sorry for your loss! I hate when doctors say "it is not uncommon", that isn't the point, it isn't something you want to be part of the "statistics" for. My doc told me that they don't usually dig until after a 3rd loss, and even then after 3 in a row, I had one, a healthy child, had another (although there had been a baby and hb for the 2nd loss and the first was a blighted ovum - doesn't make it any easier/harder/etc), but she did testing for me, the chromosomal testing showed an abnormality that was just dumb luck...it sucked! However, it also gave me hope that I wasn't at risk of the same thing happening. If they are willing to do it, even if they aren't, ask for that testing, it may not show anything, but it might and it might help you get through it a little easier! HUGS!! ANd don't feel like a Debby Downer, you are right, we do "get it", sadly
Reply With Quote
  #14  
January 14th, 2013, 12:38 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 1,650
Hugs. So sorry for your loss.
__________________
Katrina, mom to 7 wonderful children on earth, and 4 guardian angels in heaven.











Reply With Quote
  #15  
January 14th, 2013, 01:53 PM
EverydayJoy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Pacific NW
Posts: 6,583
You're not a downer at all, we all totally understand. It can help to be able to vent your frustrations. I hope you feel free to talk here if you need, or you're welcome to visit the Pregnancy Loss board too, if you aren't a part of it already. I spent quite some time there after my loss, I think it helped.
__________________


Little Bud: Blooming in Heaven 1.24.12
Reply With Quote
  #16  
January 14th, 2013, 02:28 PM
Happy Song's Avatar Nicole
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 10,787
I am so sorry...
__________________
Nicole mommy to...



Reply With Quote
  #17  
January 14th, 2013, 06:37 PM
martilynne's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Texas
Posts: 12,593
I am so sorry for your loss
__________________




Reply With Quote
  #18  
January 14th, 2013, 08:52 PM
missy123's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Savannah GA
Posts: 13,417
I am so sorry... (((hugs))) We understand it all
__________________

Pregnancy Loss April 2009, September 2010
CP 10/2008, 1/3/11 {missing my babies every single day}Mommy to 4 Children - 3 boys ages 22, 21 and 18 & baby Scarlett
After 2.5 years TTC with 4 losses our Family was given the gift of Miss Scarlett
.
Do not ever give up hope...


Miss Scarlett... Our miracle girl still brings happy tears to my eyes.



Reply With Quote
  #19  
January 14th, 2013, 09:39 PM
momof8lopez's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: illinois
Posts: 8,306
Im terribly sorry for your loss. I also have had a bo and I think they sometimes take a little longer to get over. Im praying that your rainbow baby is just around the corner, waiting for your arms.
__________________
Thank you Shortcake for my beautiful siggy..]

Momma of 8 beautiful children now. Most recent is Jerry Jr. born 11/19/12 at 37wk, 7lbs 6oz and 19.5inches and Baby Reymundo born 10/7/13 at 35w6d, 6lbs 7oz, 19.5 inches. Momma of 5 angels. New siggy to come!

Reply With Quote
Reply

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:37 AM.



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0