[daolive14]

Hi, ladies. I haven't been on much over the holidays because I couldn't log on to JM with my computer. anyway, I finally got back on last week, but i experienced another loss this week. I have another blighted ovum :-( I am doing ok, really frustrated and really mad about it. I just don't understand why it keeps happening. I am going to take a few months off from TTC, try to figure out some answers and clear my head. I wish all of you the very best and I will hopefully be back when the time is right. Take care, Denise

[EverydayJoy]

Denise, I'm so sorry to hear this. That must be incredibly maddening for you. I wish there was something I could say to help, but I know there isn't anything that will make it any easier for you. My heart goes out to you. I hope you can find some answers! Hugs

[Papasgirl]

I am so very sorry for your loss. It can be so frustrating to not know or understand what is happening. I hope you get some answers soon. For now, don't dwell on the anger. Trust me, it doesn't help. Let yourself grieve, but the anger will eat you alive.

[shen7]

I am sorry

[EverydayJoy]

I was very angry for quite awhile after my loss. I think sometimes anger can feel good, for me I would think sometimes about the other emotions I would be feeling if I wasn't feeling angry. I would have felt powerless, helpless, and out of control, so for me the anger was sort of a way to take control and feel strong. I don't recommend it for long term, but anger is a normal response to a loss. It's part of the process of trying to make sense of it. Something precious was taken away from you, it's natural to be angry about it.

[TnPhotoMama81]

so very sorry :[

[lelila]

I'm very sorry for your losses. Often it seems that there is simply no rhyme or reason to things. And that makes it all the more difficult.

[bcogoli]

Im sorry sweetie. A loss is so hard. Give yourself time to greive. Hopefully you will get some answers soon. Praying for you.

[AimeeD041727]

Sending thoughts and prayers your way.

[melissalaw]

I'm a so sorry for your loss. I completely understand being angry. I hope you get some answers. And I hope to see you back here once you start trying again.

[daolive14]

Thank you so much for such kind replies. i do still feel angry, but not as intensely. I feel like i sort of grieved initially, but it was like I was trying, in my head, to will this pregnancy into success. But my heart knew better and I just never allowed myself to feel really attached. The first loss was different, I cried and cried and cried and felt so empty. Now I feel empty and ticked off. I am really trying to accept that there really may be no reason, just crap luck, and the doctor on Friday seemed to verify that ("unfortunately, it is not uncommon to have multiple losses" he said so delicately). But they are willing to dig a little deeper and I am willing to tread in to those waters, just not sure how deep i want to get. I have started to stock up again for TTC, I feel like that gives me some control for some reason, but it will be a while before i feel ready to really try again. Thanks again, ladies, I'm sorry to be a downer on a pregnancy board, but you all "get it" and I really appreciate the insight and support you have given.

[lindsey2000k]

I am so sorry
You are not a downer we have all been where you are and understand. I myself have come and gone from this room a couple of times.

[humnck]

I'm so sorry for your loss! I hate when doctors say "it is not uncommon", that isn't the point, it isn't something you want to be part of the "statistics" for. My doc told me that they don't usually dig until after a 3rd loss, and even then after 3 in a row, I had one, a healthy child, had another (although there had been a baby and hb for the 2nd loss and the first was a blighted ovum - doesn't make it any easier/harder/etc), but she did testing for me, the chromosomal testing showed an abnormality that was just dumb luck...it sucked! However, it also gave me hope that I wasn't at risk of the same thing happening. If they are willing to do it, even if they aren't, ask for that testing, it may not show anything, but it might and it might help you get through it a little easier! HUGS!! ANd don't feel like a Debby Downer, you are right, we do "get it", sadly

[mspkids]

Hugs. So sorry for your loss.

[EverydayJoy]

You're not a downer at all, we all totally understand. It can help to be able to vent your frustrations. I hope you feel free to talk here if you need, or you're welcome to visit the Pregnancy Loss board too, if you aren't a part of it already. I spent quite some time there after my loss, I think it helped.

[Happy Song]

I am so sorry...

[martilynne]

I am so sorry for your loss

[missy123]

I am so sorry... (((hugs))) We understand it all

[momof6lopez]

Im terribly sorry for your loss. I also have had a bo and I think they sometimes take a little longer to get over. Im praying that your rainbow baby is just around the corner, waiting for your arms.