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Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss

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  • 2 Post By melissalaw
  • 2 Post By bcogoli
  • 2 Post By EverydayJoy

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  #1  
March 19th, 2013, 01:07 AM
Happy Song's Avatar Nicole
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 10,759
I am 13 weeks pregnant and I cannot stop talking about my dead baby. Seth was stillborn at 18 weeks last September. I just cannot seem to stop talking about him. I know the people I am talking to do not want to hear that not all pregnancies make it.

I am not crying or boo hooing or playing the pity me card, I just seem to bring him up all the flipping time. Any way I am just wondering if I am crazy or if anyone else finds themselves waxing on and on about their Angel babies?
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  #2  
March 19th, 2013, 05:32 AM
melissalaw's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 13,609
I don't talk about my loss that much. I always find that it seems to make people uncomfortable when I talk about my loss. But I wasn't as far along as you were and we didn't name our baby. We did find out it would have been a girl because we had some genetic testing done. After my loss I had some counseling with my preacher plus it helped that I got pregnant with Jacob right away and I know if I hadn't lost my baby I wouldn't have Jacob and I can't imagine life without my sweet baby Jacob. If it makes you feel better to talk about Seth then I say go right ahead who cares what anybody thinks. Also being pregnant with this new child I'm sure it makes you think about Seth all that much more. It did for me anyway.
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  #3  
March 19th, 2013, 06:32 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 2,259
This pregnancy started out as twins and we lost one at 9 weeks. We have been setting stuff up for the other baby and i do find it very hard to not talk about how different it would have been with 2 babies. And i sleep with an outfit i bought for the baby we lost. Even when they are gone they are still are babies and its only natural to want to talk about your baby. As your pregnancy goes on it will get easier to focus on the baby you are having rather than the one you lost. Dont ever feel bad for wanting to remember your angel, babies are precious and its ok to talk about them.
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  #4  
March 19th, 2013, 08:51 AM
EverydayJoy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Pacific NW
Posts: 6,351
I think grieving can come in "waves". You think you've laid it to rest and then it crops up again. Talking about the baby you lost is just another way to come to terms with it. I know for me when I got pregnant again I felt sad a lot at first because it did remind me of the last pregnancy and the baby I'd lost. I think it did rekindle some feelings of sadness and loss and that's probably what's going on for you. Don't be afraid to talk about it...sometimes you have to be choosy who you talk to, but it's good to let it out.
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  #5  
March 21st, 2013, 08:55 AM
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Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Delaware (the state!)
Posts: 6,164
I think about my 2nd loss a lot, mostly because we had seen what we thought was a healthy baby on the u/s with a hb and then a couple of weeks later, the baby was gone. We had genetic testing done as well, I found out the baby had had Turner's and that was why it passed. I think about that baby quite a bit sometimes, but I am like Melissa and I know if I had had that baby, I wouldn't have had Addy, although I am still sad that I couldn't have both, if you kwim.
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  #6  
March 22nd, 2013, 06:28 PM
TnPhotoMama81's Avatar Wife/Mommy/Photographer
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I don't think you are crazy at all...I think it is normal.
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