Log In Sign Up

Hello and a question! **UPDATED**


Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss

Notices

Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to boards@justmommies.com.

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Like Tree3Likes
  • 1 Post By Brittanie
  • 1 Post By mommy-of-one
  • 1 Post By Leanne78

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
  #1  
April 15th, 2013, 12:30 PM
mommy-of-one's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: KY
Posts: 430
Hello
My name is Melissa and I just found out recently that I am pregnant, again...
I don't really want to talk about this on the Dec DDC because I know there are quite a few women there that have been through a loss and for some it causes pain every time they hear someone talk about it...

I need help advice/suggestions on how to get through this waiting game...

The first U/S is a really upsetting moment for me, as this was when I saw my first miscarriage. The baby had stopped progressing and had no heartbeat. No blood, no cramps, nothing. My U/S is scheduled for this Wed, and the anxiety I am going through right now is tearing me up. I can't sleep at night even though I am so tired. I start to drift off and I fall into a panic attack. I start to have pains and bam, panic attack. I feel discharge and panic attack happens.

I have tried breathing techniques, relaxation meditation, and just escaping... When I found out I was pregnant they took me off of all of my medications that I could not stay on (anxiety and depression meds, fibromyalgia meds, and nerve blockers). Is there something I can talk to the Dr about that I can take for this constant anxiety/fear of losing the baby? Anything natural I can take? Any books or words of wisdom that might help?

I know my situation isn't the worst, that women lose their babies in much more painful ways and they can be strong. Why can't I be strong?

UPDATE-
So, I measured at 5 weeks 3 days according to the Dr,. they did not see a heartbeat but saw a healthy sac and yolk. I am confused bc by my period I should be right at 6 weeks, which I thought was early enough for the heartbeat. The research I did said that you could see that as early as 5 weeks 4 days.. I was a mess, trying to explain why I was crying through the tears was difficult...
Since there was no heartbeat yet I have to wait 2 more weeks to go back for another U/S.

Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers...
__________________

Thank you to Peimum for my AMAZING siggy!


Last edited by mommy-of-one; April 17th, 2013 at 04:51 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
April 15th, 2013, 12:51 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Delaware (the state!)
Posts: 6,759
First off, I am so sorry for your loss. Secondly, congrats on your BFP!

I am not sure what you can take/anything natural, but I am pretty sure there are things out there that can help that are safe. It's safer for you to be anxiety free, depression free than it is for you to be full of it and safer for the baby too!

It is totally natural to be feeling that way. After my loss, I really had a hard time believing that I wouldn't go into the bathroom and see blood. I was a nervous wreck before my u/s's. Loss does this to us and it just plain sucks! Will your doctor do any bloodwork for you? I know that will only momentarily help, but at least it is something. Although, for some, the blood work can cause more anxiety. I would call your doc and talk to them about it. How far along are you?
__________________
4/2008 8/2011



Reply With Quote
  #3  
April 15th, 2013, 01:43 PM
mommy-of-one's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: KY
Posts: 430
Thank you!
I am 6 weeks based on my LMP. They did blood work on April 5th and 8th, 5th my HCG level was 85, on the 8th it was 1560. I had to change to a High Risk Dr in my area on the recommendation of my previous OB, so I see him for the first time this Wed (that is when my U/S takes place too). I am going to talk to him Wednesday about medication, but the anxiety is like a catch-22, anxious bc I am not on anything, then anxious bc it might cause trouble for the baby... Its less than 2 days away, but this will be the longest 2 days ever... I don't know how to prepare for it.

As awful as it sounds, I would have loved to have just kept going with life and not known that I am pregnant... Make it closer to the end of the 1st trimester without worrying...You hear people talk about not knowing they were pregnant until months into it, Ive never had that luxury... Mine have always been within a week to 5 weeks pregnant when I found out...
__________________

Thank you to Peimum for my AMAZING siggy!

Reply With Quote
  #4  
April 15th, 2013, 02:24 PM
markswife's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 3,680
i discovered my loss the same way you did and I have terrible anxiety every time I have one now because of it. I don't even try to be strong. I just cry and explain to the tech why I'm so upset. I love the tech at my office. She always goes straight to the heartbeat first so I can relax and enjoy as much as possible. I wish there was a trick I can share.

As for the medications, maybe your doctor can suggest otherwise to manage your conditions without medication? If not, perhaps there are medications that you can take even if they aren't as effective.

hang in there and I can't wait to hear a happy update from you!
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #5  
April 15th, 2013, 02:26 PM
geogeek's Avatar Marsi's Mommy
Join Date: May 2009
Location: In yonder mountains
Posts: 9,339
I take fluoxetine, even when pregnant. It is considered safe. I feel it is better for me to not have constant panic. I hope that the next couple of days go by fast for you. All my losse are early so seeing that second line initiates panic rather than joy for me. :\
__________________


Thank you *kiliki* for my beautiful siggy!

Reply With Quote
  #6  
April 16th, 2013, 08:21 AM
melissalaw's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 14,105
I am so sorry for your loss. I would definitely talk to your dr on Wednesday and see what he can prescribe you to help with the anxiety. Hopefully he will have you come in alot to check on baby and help with your anxiety.

I found out the same way with my loss and now ultrasounds are very difficult.

Pregnancy after any loss is so hard but just know that we are here for you to hopefully help with some of your anxiety. Please let us know how your ultrasound goes. I'll be praying for good news and hopefully your dr can help with your anxiety.
__________________

Thank you *Kiliki* for my beautiful siggy
Reply With Quote
  #7  
April 16th, 2013, 07:37 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Littleton, CO
Posts: 43,565
Hey! I'm in the Dec. DDC too. First of all, stop ranking loss. Loss is loss is loss. No matter when it happens, you have your entire future of hopes and dreams with that child stolen from you. You are completely entitled to the feelings you have.

I get really anxious before ultrasounds too. Actually, even though I'm scared about not having a doctor right now, I'm avoiding calling and making an appointment with the referral I have because it will make it real and things will get really anxiety-riddled. So even though another woman may look strong, it doesn't mean that we aren't all quietly screaming in fear. Pregnancy after loss (ANY loss) is scary!

And thirdly, it'd be good to talk to a doctor about it.

I keep telling myself "as far as I know, everything is okay right now"
EverydayJoy likes this.
__________________
Thanks to babydoll213 for the siggy! My kids' blog Cora's blog


Reply With Quote
  #8  
April 17th, 2013, 06:51 AM
Leanne78's Avatar Nov 2012 DDC Co-Host
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 9,495
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brittanie View Post
Hey! I'm in the Dec. DDC too. First of all, stop ranking loss. Loss is loss is loss. No matter when it happens, you have your entire future of hopes and dreams with that child stolen from you. You are completely entitled to the feelings you have.
I so agree with this! I find myself doing that all the time though. Like I don't "deserve" to be upset about any of my losses because they were so early.

I was absolutely petrified to go to my first U/S (and second and third) for this past pregnancy. I was practically crying before the appointment even started. I also had had a missed miscarriage and didn't know anything was wrong until I went in for my first ultrasound and there was no heartbeat so I was scared that I would have that happen again. Throw in some early spotting that I had for a few weeks and I was a basket case. It's all part of the territory with pregnancy after loss. Praying that everything goes well for you today!
__________________



Reply With Quote
  #9  
April 17th, 2013, 08:47 PM
EverydayJoy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Pacific NW
Posts: 6,581
Just wanted to say I'm sorry for your loss! I have only had one loss and sometimes I wonder why I can't be stronger about it too, when I see how other women have suffered. I really liked what Brittanie said--don't compare your loss to others.
I am 37 weeks pregnant right now and I sure was a nervous wreck at the beginning. I had an early loss with the last one so that first trimester was the hardest for me. I kept sitting around just waiting to miscarry---I was just sure it was going to happen again. But it didn't.

As for depression medication, what med did they have you on prior to pregnancy? I am on Wellbutrin 75mg twice a day and stayed on that from beginning to end. I would think that yanking all your meds like that would throw you into a major tailspin. I can see taking away the anxiety meds, if they are a benzodiapene (sp?) kind, because those are considered pretty bad for pregnancy. But several of the antidepressants have been studied extensively and shown to be safe for babies and not raise the risk of birth defects. My doc told me Wellbutrin and Prozac were both pretty safe. I know that I really can't function in pregnancy without something, so I was happy to know I could stay on the meds.

For anxiety, what about some homeopathic/herbal remedies? Some that I have used this pregnancy are Calms made by Hyland's, they also have Calms Forte which I've used too. Bach's has a product called Rescue Remedy, which I tried and didn't find as helpful as the Calms, but it might be worth a try. Historical Remedies has one called Calm Drops, they're a losenge that you let dissolve in your mouth. They also make Stress Mints. I liked the Calm Drops too.
I think my personal favorite was Calms/Calms Forte. I would take one, two or three tablets depending on how bad the anxiety/stress was. Usually started to feel better in about a half hour or so. Generally I took three tablets to help fall asleep at night, and one or two for anxiety during the day. I liked the Calm Drops for when I was out and about, I would keep them in my purse and if I felt anxious I could just pop one in my mouth and it seemed to help--even if it was only a psychological help from being able to do something for myself, I was happy to feel more in control.
For nighttime sleeping, avoid Valerian root, that is supposed to be bad for pregnancy. But things like chamomile, passion flower, and such are safe. You could also try plain old chamomile tea and see if it does anything for you. And it's usually a good idea to run herbals/homeopathic remedies past your doctor before you start them, just in case.
__________________


Little Bud: Blooming in Heaven 1.24.12
Reply With Quote
  #10  
April 18th, 2013, 06:02 AM
mommy-of-one's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: KY
Posts: 430
I have never heard of some of those! I will have to look them up and call my OB about them, thank you for the suggestions! He has me taking Magnesium Oxide to try to help with the pains(fibromyalgia) and anxiety.
Prior to pregnancy, I was on Celexa 40mg and Savella 125mg. Valium 10mg 3 times a day and Xanax 2.5mg as needed. Makes me feel like a nutcase listing them all out, but, they def helped me to be stable. They all had components that worked for both the fibro and the depression/anxiety. I originally started with just the celexa and it did nothing until it was mixed with the Savella(which is unsafe during PG) With my history of so many losses, he wanted to take me off of everything and start from scratch. I would think they would want to keep me stable on what they could.
I have invested in some good chamomile and lavender teas, and starting to see my counselor more often now. Crossing my fingers this helps.
Thank you again for the hope
EverydayJoy likes this.
__________________

Thank you to Peimum for my AMAZING siggy!

Reply With Quote
  #11  
April 18th, 2013, 07:53 AM
Leanne78's Avatar Nov 2012 DDC Co-Host
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 9,495
5 weeks is still really early for seeing the heartbeat. Even 6 weeks can be too early. It also depends on when you ovulated and implanted as to how far along you are. Going by just your period isn't as accurate. I know it's going to be a LONG 2 week wait for you, but it sounds like everything is what you would expect for around 5 weeks. (((Hugs)))
humnck likes this.
__________________



Reply With Quote
  #12  
April 18th, 2013, 07:56 AM
Leanne78's Avatar Nov 2012 DDC Co-Host
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 9,495
Here's a link to a normal 5 week, 2 day u/s. No heartbeat yet. http://www.advancedfertility.com/ultraso1.htm
__________________



Reply With Quote
  #13  
April 18th, 2013, 07:56 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Delaware (the state!)
Posts: 6,759
I agree with Leanne, the hb typically starts right around 6 weeks, so it may not be picked up by u/s at that point. Also, keep in mind that the u/s dating can be off by a few days, so you still could be 6 weeks. I hope the next 2 weeks flies by, I know how slowly it feels like it is going, I have been there!

HUGS!!!!
__________________
4/2008 8/2011



Reply With Quote
  #14  
April 18th, 2013, 08:10 AM
melissalaw's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 14,105
I'm sorry you didn't see a heartbeat but I agree with the others that it was most likely too soon. do you know when you O'd? maybe you O'd late which could account for the dates being off a bit also. I'm still praying that in 2 weeks you see that beautiful heartbeat.
__________________

Thank you *Kiliki* for my beautiful siggy
Reply With Quote
  #15  
April 18th, 2013, 09:49 AM
Daisee37's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Twin Cities, MN
Posts: 1,974
Going by LMP can be really inaccurate. Unless you have a perfect 28 day cycle, and always ovulate on day 14, it can be off by a week in either direction, or more! So if you're actually 5w3d, and not 6w, then it would be too early to see a hb. In some cases, 6 weeks is even too early. My RE won't do an ultrasound until 6.5 weeks at the earliest, for that very reason. At this early stage, being off by even a couple days can make a huge difference. Good luck!!!
__________________




August 2012 December 2012
Reply With Quote
  #16  
April 18th, 2013, 04:05 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Littleton, CO
Posts: 43,565
As with Daisee, my doctors would always wait until at least 7 weeks (for me, 8-10 weeks usually) to do an ultrasound.

My Erin measured 4 days behind at my first ultrasound. And she'll be 6 in June.
__________________
Thanks to babydoll213 for the siggy! My kids' blog Cora's blog


Reply With Quote
  #17  
April 18th, 2013, 05:51 PM
EverydayJoy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Pacific NW
Posts: 6,581
I've been on Celexa in the past, never tried Savella, but that's too bad that it's not compatible with pregnancy. I sure liked it when I had good ol' Xanax to use as needed for anxiety in the past. Of course my doc forbade that during pregnancy as well (this was with my first baby, who is 3 now). That's when I got over to using the homeopathics because I had to have SOMEthing. I think sometimes having a pill you can swallow can be soothing in itself, because we're used to being able to pop a pill to calm our nerves in the past. So being able to take an herbal pill sometimes has the added benefit of that, at least for me, I think.
Have you thought about trying a different antidepressant? I haven't really been able to find any herbal/homeopathic stuff that's good for depression, because the most used one, St. John's Wort, isn't recommended for pregnancy either.

I hope too that as time goes on, your body adjusts to not taking your old meds, and maybe it will get easier...good luck!
__________________


Little Bud: Blooming in Heaven 1.24.12
Reply With Quote
Reply

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 04:38 AM.



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0