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Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss

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  #1  
April 18th, 2013, 04:48 AM
Papasgirl's Avatar Down Syndrome Pregnancy
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Boston, Ma
Posts: 4,503
Hi everyone! My name is Stefanie and I am 41. Some of you may remember me, but in case you don't., I will give a little background. So I have 6 children. My last child was born in Sept of 2011. I was 39 years old. No complications what so ever. I had a child 16 months prior as well. All GOOD!
So in March 2012 we were surprised to find we were pregnant. Never expected anything would go wrong...why would it...I have had 6 uncomplicated, uneventful, very wonderful, successful pregnancies.
WRONG! I am a poas addict so I tested everyday and noticed the lines were getting lighter, not darker. Then I started bleeding....I had a "chemical" at 4w2d. So we decided we would wait a cycle and see what happens. Pregnant again with a bfp on May 6,2012. Again lines got lighter and on May 9, another "chemical" We got pregnant again with a bfp on June 6 and all was going well ... until the ultrasound...measured almost a week behind (should have been 6w4d and measured 5w6d) and the heart rate was only 98. I went back a week later due to bleeding and found a still little bean. I miscarried at 8w. Got pregnant yet again with a bfp on 12/14. Started spotting the day AF was due and thought that was it, but it stopped....so i was hopeful. Had an ultrasound at 6w6d and AGAIN measured a full week behind with a heart rate of 104. I was told it looked ok, but to prepare for the worst. They made me wait two weeks for another ultrasound. I started spotting the morning of the ultrasound. i was 8 weeks at the time. It revealed a heart rate of 59 and the baby only measured 6w1d, almost two weeks behind. I miscarried in the ER on Jan 24th at 9 weeks. So I was told that my losses are all chalked up to "old age and old eggs." It still amazes me that at 39 I can have a healthy pregnancy, but by 40 I cannot. The good thing is that I can get pregnant. I am a pro at that...its keeping it going that I cannot seem to do. We did progesterone once...failed. I have had blood workups done...all normal...dh is normal....so its a shot in the dark.
So, fast forward to now. I am still mentally reeling from all of my losses. It is and has been all consuming. I have all about given up on the idea that I can produce one more little baby. So DH and I are not TTC, but have had a few....indescrestions... here and there. So the other night, I was feeling a little queasy, but hungry at the same time and I got up out of my chair and had a pulling sensation that sent me right back down into my seat! So I thought...."hmmmm" The next morning I took a test and it was a very Dark BFP! I think I od early this cycle, like around CD 10 or 11 as opposed to 14 or 15. SO here I am, still testing with darker lines. I go for blood work today to check beta, progesterone and to re do my anticoagulant testing (tested positive in 1999 but tested normal in 2012) I hope and pray that I get to keep this baby. I know time is not on my side at all and my window is quickly slamming shut. My due date would be somewhere around 12/27 by my calculations. I am so worried I will lose this one too and this whole story will end 6 weeks from now in an emergency room instead of 36 weeks from now in a delivery room! Oh i wish time would go quick so at least I would know if there is even a baby! Im sorry this is so long, but no one really gets it but those that have been through it. Thanks for reading and I hope you all dont mind if I hang out here...
__________________
Stefanie, Wife to Paul, Mom to cailyn (13), caleigh (12), cameron (11) christopher (8), Lilly (3) and Emma(2) and Staci born 12/19/13
3/12/12 5/9/12 7/05/2012 1/24/13

Baby Girl Anastasia is my Rainbow!! Diagnosed with T21...
We will journey together

Last edited by Papasgirl; April 18th, 2013 at 04:51 AM.
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  #2  
April 18th, 2013, 06:26 AM
melissalaw's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 14,349
I am so sorry for your losses. I so wish that no woman ever had to experience a loss. I'm praying for you and your little bean and that on Dec 27 you will be holding your little rainbow baby. Please let us know how your blood work goes.
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  #3  
April 18th, 2013, 08:53 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Delaware (the state!)
Posts: 7,428
Please don't apologize for this post I am so sorry for all of your losses! I pray that this is your rainbow baby!

Of course we don't mind if you hang out here!
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  #4  
April 18th, 2013, 01:01 PM
momof8lopez's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: illinois
Posts: 8,407
Hi Stefanie, congrats on your new pregnancy! You and I have very similar stories, I also had 3 loss's at 38yrs old, all back to back, all were referred to as "old eggs". I then went on at at 39 to have my first rainbow, and then again at 40, 41, and now 42 with my 8th. There is no ryme or reason for AMA, just hit or miss. I used progesterone as a "pre-caution" with my last 3 baby's, and this one I have used nothing. I always new it was not progesterone related with my loss's, just poor quality eggs and AMA. Im praying for your little bean to make it through the storm and be your rainbow you so deserve!
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Thank you Shortcake for my beautiful siggy..]

Momma of 8 beautiful children now. Most recent is Jerry Jr. born 11/19/12 at 37wk, 7lbs 6oz and 19.5inches and Baby Reymundo born 10/7/13 at 35w6d, 6lbs 7oz, 19.5 inches. Momma of 5 angels. New siggy to come!

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  #5  
April 18th, 2013, 02:13 PM
Papasgirl's Avatar Down Syndrome Pregnancy
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Boston, Ma
Posts: 4,503
Quote:
Originally Posted by momof6lopez View Post
Hi Stefanie, congrats on your new pregnancy! You and I have very similar stories, I also had 3 loss's at 38yrs old, all back to back, all were referred to as "old eggs". I then went on at at 39 to have my first rainbow, and then again at 40, 41, and now 42 with my 8th. There is no ryme or reason for AMA, just hit or miss. I used progesterone as a "pre-caution" with my last 3 baby's, and this one I have used nothing. I always new it was not progesterone related with my loss's, just poor quality eggs and AMA. Im praying for your little bean to make it through the storm and be your rainbow you so deserve!
your story is truly inspirational to me. I hope this one sticks and I feel that i will just have to keep trying until it happens. Lets hope this is it!!! You are all such a great bunch and it really helps to have some ears that understand the situation. Thanks so much for all the support, both now and forthcoming! I only hope i can be as helpful to all of you if needed. I look forward to spending a lot of time with you all. Thanks Oh and just got blood work drawn...I will have numbers some time tomorrow!!!!!
__________________
Stefanie, Wife to Paul, Mom to cailyn (13), caleigh (12), cameron (11) christopher (8), Lilly (3) and Emma(2) and Staci born 12/19/13
3/12/12 5/9/12 7/05/2012 1/24/13

Baby Girl Anastasia is my Rainbow!! Diagnosed with T21...
We will journey together
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  #6  
April 18th, 2013, 03:17 PM
momof8lopez's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: illinois
Posts: 8,407
Praying for fantastic numbers!! With your tests so far, Im sure it will be a very healthy number to start!
__________________
Thank you Shortcake for my beautiful siggy..]

Momma of 8 beautiful children now. Most recent is Jerry Jr. born 11/19/12 at 37wk, 7lbs 6oz and 19.5inches and Baby Reymundo born 10/7/13 at 35w6d, 6lbs 7oz, 19.5 inches. Momma of 5 angels. New siggy to come!

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  #7  
April 18th, 2013, 06:41 PM
EverydayJoy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Pacific NW
Posts: 6,669
I remember you, Stefanie! I'm glad to see you back, and nice dark BFP's are encouraging. I hope you get to keep this one!! And hold a precious bundle in your arms come December.
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