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Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss

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  #1  
May 20th, 2013, 01:40 AM
Newbie
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 2
Hello,
I've never done something like this so please excuse me if I posted this somewhere completely wrong..

For the past 6 months I've been driving my friends crazy with my questions about miscarriage and pregnancy afterward and I believe I'm starting to become a bother so I figured I'd join a site specifically for these kind of questions.

Anyhow, to get to the point, almost 6 months ago my fiance and I went experienced every expecting couples nightmare, a miscarriage at 9 weeks. I ended up having a D&C, even though I really wasn't to comfortable with the idea because I have heard that sometimes they can cause scarring and even more problems conceiving, I got talked into it by my doctor who, by the way, was extremely unsympathetic to me and my loss! Nevertheless, both of us were terribly disappointed because this would've been our first child and we've been trying ever since our loss with sadly no results. Since the D&C my cycles have been even more irregular then they were before I got pregnant. I would bleed for a few days randomly and then would get a somewhat normal period a few weeks after, then the next month it seemed to be almost twice as long but all these strange "periods" I suppose I would call them were always a lot lighter then they were before as well. I shared my concern with my doctor and she assured me that it was probably just my body trying to reboot its system so I just waited it out and eventually they became a little more regular. It's now May and like I said my attempt to get back the little piece of my fiance and I that I lost has had no success. I've tried using those ovulation kits to make the perfect baby making time for me more apparent but I never got any results, more so because I could never be patient enough to wait till morning to test and I was convinced that if I got the timing right the first time I'd have the same luck again. Besides my sex life is fairly regular so I figured we'd be good but after getting my hopes up numerous times, we're still with no bun in my oven : ( I am starting to feel like something is wrong with me..

I'm rambling, the whole point of this post is because I need you experienced ladies to help me in the situation I'm currently in. As of May 30th I will be 2 months late, and probably still terribly, terribly confused. I told myself I wouldn't take a test till the end of May because I've had a history of irregular cycles and there have been months that have been skipped in the past but I broke down and took one a few days ago because I just had to know, the suspense was killing me! Unfortunately though I got a fairly faint negative. But I took the test in the middle of the day, I only waited a few minutes before taking the negative as a definite no and I was using an off brand test. I'm trying to pull every reason the test could possibly be wrong, if you haven't noticed. All I really wanna know is if there is a possibility I could still be pregnant? Could the test be wrong? Could my irregular schedule maybe make the possibility that I just ovulated later and conceived later then I thought be an option? Maybe I'm just a little behind on raising my hcg levels or maybe I'm one of the few cases that don't get a positive hpt till later on in the pregnancy? I know I probably sound crazy but I'm trying to scrape up every possibility I have of being happy again.

If the 30th rolls around and my period still doesn't I plan on making an appointment with a new obgyn, hopefully one a hell of a lot better then my first because I know there are also some medical issues associated with missed periods as well. I would just like a few opinions or any kind of advice anyone is willing to offer. Thanks again ladies and sorry again if I've been a bit of a bore.
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  #2  
May 20th, 2013, 05:58 AM
melissalaw's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 14,163
I am so sorry for you loss. A miscarriage is so very painful and I wish no woman ever had to experience. did you take the HPT with first morning urnine? I know for me they will always show positive first in the morning. Have you been temping so you can pinpoint ovulation? I had a D& C after losing my baby at 11 weeks and my cycle was crazy after that. I did get pregnant pretty quickly so hopefully the same will happen for you. If I was you I would go and get some first response pregnancy tests which seems to work the best for me and I would take one tomorrow morning when you first get up and see what it says? If it's negative then maybe you either are just taking a while to ovulate or you ovulated very late in this cycle so there could still be hope for this cycle. If it is negative I would probably go ahead and make an appointment with your dr so maybe you can get some answers as to why your cycles are so irregular. Did you have irregular cycles before your loss? My dr told me that if it took me more than 6 months to get pregnant to come in and see him for some medical assistance but I am older so that might be why he didn't want me to wait for more than 6 months.

Another great resource to getting pregnant is a book called Taking Charge of your Fertility Amazon.com: Taking Charge of Your Fertility, 10th Anniversary Edition: The Definitive Guide to Natural Birth Control, Pregnancy Achievement, and Reproductive Health (9780060881900): Toni Weschler: Books. You might check it out.

I'm glad you found us. This is a great site and we are here to answer any questions you have.
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  #3  
May 20th, 2013, 06:04 AM
geogeek's Avatar Marsi's Mommy
Join Date: May 2009
Location: In yonder mountains
Posts: 9,339
I am so very sorry for your loss. I have not had that procedure, but I know several people that it took a while for their cycles to get back to normal after it. I hope that you will be able to get your rainbow baby soon.
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  #4  
May 21st, 2013, 09:44 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Delaware (the state!)
Posts: 6,870
I am so sorry for your loss. I would definitely find a new doctor, one that sympathizes, because that makes all of the difference! My doctor was great when I had my losses and I swear if I had had a terrible doctor, I would have been completely off my rocker! I had a D&E, my choice, because I just wanted it to be over with, with both of my losses, my body never got the hint that the baby had passed and it was a couple of weeks before we even knew that something was wrong. My AFs were sort of irregular, meaning one month it would be 28 days, 30 the next, sometimes 32 days, but after my D&E, I was 28 days to the T, which was weird for me. It can take a long time to bounce back from a loss, not just a D&C/D&E.

First, you probably weren't getting positive OPKs because those are actually better with later in the day urine. Many women will take them twice daily, because your surge could be in the afternoon and only last 12 hours and then dip again, so you would never get a positive taking it in the morning.

As for the negative HPT, what brand are you using? Is it a blue dye test? Make sure to use the pink dye tests, they are much more accurate. You very well could have ovulated later, thus your HCG is not high enough to detect on a test. Or you could be someone who won't get a positive until much later.

I would call your doc, explain that you are 2 months "late" and you are not getting positives on your HPTs, they will likely have you come in and do a pregnancy test in their office or send you for bloodwork or both.

Good luck and I hope you get your BFP soon!!
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  #5  
May 21st, 2013, 09:36 PM
Newbie
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 2
Thank you ladies! As anxious as I am I'm waiting till the end of the month to even think about testing again and I'm definitely gonna use a name brand this time! I don't know if I even wanna take a hpt or just go straight to the doctor and get tested so I won't have to worry about any inaccuracy. Once I finally find one I actually feel comfortable talking to that is! The wait is killing me, the closer it gets to the 30th, the more I keep praying that my period doesn't decide to finally show.
Here lately I've felt really icky. My lower back is killing me a lot more then it usually does while I'm working and I get these random bits of nausea too, especially when I finish eating or after I take my daily vitamins at night. I've had these mild cramps and headaches always seem to plague me later on in the night for the past few days. I dunno, I could be imagining all of this because I want this so, so bad.
After reading a bunch of things online about what could possibly cause the absence in my period andI'm starting to get paranoid about what else this could be. I'm really worried about scarring from the procedure and also pcos (I hope that's right), so if anyone reading this has had any problems with either of those please share your stories!
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  #6  
May 22nd, 2013, 05:22 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 2,259
Im so sorry for your loss. Trying to conceive after a loss is so hard. I found my emotions were all over the place. One day i would be full of hope and be excited to be pregnant and the next day i would feel like i didnt want to know if i was pregnant or not, if i didnt know i would not be as scared. Finding an ob you trust is really important. I just had my Rainbow Baby and even though it was my 3rd baby, 5th pregnancy i still called my ob about everything. I do agree with the other ladies,try a different hpt and talk to an ob you like and trust.
praying for you. Please keep us updated.
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  #7  
May 22nd, 2013, 05:56 AM
melissalaw's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 14,163
Well you have more will power than I have ever had. I am a pee stick addict and could not wait that long. Good Luck when you finally do test. I had a D & C and had no problem with scarring. I don't believe the D & C hindered me at all from getting pregnant again. I think the scarring from a D & C is rare. Remember the internet is full of worst case scenarios. My dr told me to stop googling things because it was making me crazy. He said to call him when I had a question. I would go ahead and test again if I was you and if it's negative then I would call your dr and set up an appointment and hopefully get some answers. Please let us know how your doing.
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  #8  
May 22nd, 2013, 11:19 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Delaware (the state!)
Posts: 6,870
I didn't have any scarring and my sister had a D&C without scarring as well.

It is definitely a good idea to step away from Dr. Google! Good luck and please keep us posted!
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