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Irritated at DH


Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss

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  • 2 Post By Ame C
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  #1  
July 9th, 2013, 11:16 AM
melissalaw's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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DH was suppose to have next week off. His plant is closed down so he told me too make my ultrasound appointment anytime next week and he would be there. Well he just informs me that he has to work everyday next week and his boss has scheduled an appointment at 2:00 next Wednesday and our appointment is 11:00 am next Wednesday. My dr is notoriously late so I know DH would never be able to make it to work by 2:00 for the meeting. I just wish he could have told his boss that since they were originally told that they would be off that he had already planned something at that time and couldn't be there. Well he couldn't do that and he doesn't want to tell anybody at his work yet that we are pregnant. He is forever a pessimist. I believe in my heart that this baby is doing good but it would just be nice not to have to go alone to my ultrasound. Ok I just needed to vent a little bit.
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  #2  
July 9th, 2013, 11:35 AM
Pitridge's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I'm sorry, I'm a firm believer that men don't always think. I'm sorry you might have to go alone to your u/s. That first u/s is probably the one where you don't want to go alone.
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  #3  
July 9th, 2013, 11:37 AM
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I'm sorry, Melissa. That stinks that your husband couldn't have just told his boss he'd made plans. He didn't even have to tell him what they were. I bet you are feeling pretty anxious about that first ultrasound and it would have been nice if you could have had someone there to hold your hand and tell you it will be all right. Plus it probably makes it hard to be positive when he is being down about it. Is there someone else who could go along with you to maybe be a little moral support? Do you have to take your kiddos with you or will someone watch them for you?
I had to do several ultrasounds alone with my pregnancy with Kody and it is hard, because you really want your husband there with you---the man who helped make the baby in the first place!
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  #4  
July 9th, 2013, 11:45 AM
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Thanks ladies.

Joy my kids will be in daycare, so thankfully they will not be going with me. I may ask my mother in law to go but since we haven't told her yet I will have to convince DH to tell her. I think our loss really hurt DH so it's almost like he's expecting it to happen again. Drive me nuts.
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  #5  
July 9th, 2013, 01:29 PM
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I am sorry that he can't go. Just tell him that he has to tell her so you have someone to go with I know, easier said coming from me, I am not the one that has to tell her! Can he not just tell his boss that HE has a doc appointment or dentist appointment or something so he might be late that day? How annoying! My DH is the same way, afraid that people might get mad at him for something like that when it was already planned. Ugh, men!
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  #6  
July 9th, 2013, 01:44 PM
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Boo on DH for not thinking things through! I hope you find someone else that can go with you and comfort you. I would go if I could!!
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  #7  
July 9th, 2013, 01:47 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by humnck View Post
I am sorry that he can't go. Just tell him that he has to tell her so you have someone to go with I know, easier said coming from me, I am not the one that has to tell her! Can he not just tell his boss that HE has a doc appointment or dentist appointment or something so he might be late that day? How annoying! My DH is the same way, afraid that people might get mad at him for something like that when it was already planned. Ugh, men!
Carey my DH doesn't think that fast. it would have been so easy to just tell them that he already had an appointment but instead he just says he will be there. I'm going to have him go ahead and tell his mom about the baby so she can go with me. I really don't want to go alone.


Amy I would love for you to go if you could!!
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  #8  
July 9th, 2013, 05:39 PM
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It's too bad none of us live closer to you, I know we would ALL go with you if we could!
I'm glad at least you don't have to deal with your kids during the appointment.

I'm sorry your DH was so affected by the loss. Mine always seemed like he just bounced back while it took me so long to recover from it. That annoyed me at the time, that he could just "brush it off" so easily and return to work. Of course men process things differently and I know he was sad about it. Anyway I'm sure for you, it would be nicer if he could be encouraging you about it, but give him time. I'm sure he'll come around---and even if he doesn't, once he sees that little baby he will be in love.
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  #9  
July 10th, 2013, 09:42 AM
melissalaw's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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thanks Joy. DH never wants to talk about the loss but I know he was really affected by it.

I talked to DH last night and finally convinced him that he needed to go. so he is going to talk to his boss today so that he can go. I felt much better after he said he would go with me. that first ultrasound is so hard and I just didn't want to go without him. Now I just need prayers that everything goes great next Wednesday, which by the way can't get here fast enough..lol.
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  #10  
July 10th, 2013, 02:44 PM
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I'm so glad he's going! Yay!
I wonder if maybe he said yes to the meeting because deep down, he didn't want to go to the ultrasound? Like maybe he was trying to stay detached so it wouldn't hurt so much if you lost this one too.
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  #11  
July 10th, 2013, 03:11 PM
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I don't blame you at all - i'm so glad he's able to come now. I absolutely refuse to go to first (or 2nd) u/s alone anymore...even when I thought I was "safe" with my last pregnancy and the u/s was precautionary so I told DH no need to leave work to join me, sure enough I get crushing news. Hopefully your u/s will be completely uneventful and a sweet moment for you two to share first glimpse of your baby together ((HUGS))
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  #12  
July 11th, 2013, 06:31 AM
melissalaw's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Thanks ladies.

Joy I think DH's boss just scheduled the meeting and told him about it but DH didn't bother to tell him that he had something already scheduled. So I don't know if that was part of the reason or not. I'm just hoping that come next Wednesday we see that beautiful heart beating.
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  #13  
July 11th, 2013, 07:19 PM
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I'm sure you will see it! I look forward to hearing how it goes!
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