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To TTC or Not? Baby #2


Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss

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  • 1 Post By momof8lopez

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  #1  
July 27th, 2013, 07:31 PM
Jessghetti's Avatar New Mommy in Training
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 552
Hello everyone! I know it's been a long time since I posted last, I hope everyone and their little ones are doing well!

Chelsea will be a whopping 11 months tomorrow, I simply cannot believe time has flown by so fast !

She is crawling very well, gabbering, starting to eat table food, pulling up and standing and just about everything she should do on time. Along with that comes her getting into just about EVERYTHING and I long for the days when she was smaller and not so.. curious. lol

While it is cool to see her learn and do new things, I do get that 'twinge' whenever I see little newborns. I always think 'Man I remember when MY baby was that little' and it's been so bad at some points I've contemplated TTC for #2


Thing is, I have no idea how I'd handle Chelsea (being as curious and independent as she is getting) and being pregnant/having a newborn. DH wants to wait and enjoy her while she is little without having to worry about another baby taking up all our attention. While I agree, I don't want to wait TOO long without trying and have our children spaced too far apart (Me and DH both were very widely spaced from our siblings and didn't enjoy it)

I'm currently using the Mirena IUD - while annoying at times it's been doing it's job well. I've contemplated getting it removed and just switching to condoms as our main source of B/C, or maybe just hoping for #2 to be a little Ninja and swoop in unexpected. Is that wrong? I feel planning another baby seems impossible and the only way it'd happen is by surprise.

I've even taken two Pregnancy-Tests this past month because I've had really strong pregnancy-like-symptoms,including an unpredictable monthly cycle (if you can even call it that) all which seem to just lead back to the Mirena.

So how did you other ladies plan for #2? Was it planned or did they come by surprise?
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  #2  
July 27th, 2013, 07:57 PM
geogeek's Avatar Marsi's Mommy
Join Date: May 2009
Location: In yonder mountains
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Well, we always knew that we wanted children relatively close. I was due with a baby right before Marsi would have turned 2. Obviously it didn't work out, but it just made me realize that I truly wanted them close in age. We just made up our minds and went with it.
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  #3  
July 28th, 2013, 07:29 AM
Ame C's Avatar Every breath is a gift.
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 3,722
I've heard after removing the Mirena IUD it takes *some* women months to a year of ttc before they get pregnant again. Maybe talk to DH about getting it taken out and using condoms or better yet, pull&pray as a method of BC.

In my opinion the spacing between age is perfect. DH and I want our babies close in age too. We are still young but want to be able to enjoy watching our little ones grow and welcoming grandbabies, which might not happen if we focus a lot of energy on waiting. I love babies, so if your asking MY opinion, I say start taking the steps that would get you ready to ttc again. Removing the IUD, talking to DH more, all that good stuff
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  #4  
July 28th, 2013, 08:01 AM
momof8lopez's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: illinois
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My first two were 2yrs apart. So I got pg right around the 1yr mark with my first. It was "not planned", we were not using any real protection. After him, we went straight to condoms for almost 5yrs and never had an "oopsie" until I was ready for my 3rd. I never thought about "spacing" my kids, it was all about the right timing for me and dh. I then had my 4th, planned again, after an oopsie that lead to a 14wk loss. This was 3yrs after my 3rd.

Currently, with my new DH and our 3 rainbow babys, the first was planned of course, but the next 3 (including this pregnancy) were brought hear by letting nature take its course. I was blessed to have my first with him, and the rest were all true surprises and blessings as well. Because bc failed me, we got all our babys at 1yr apart (this one even less)........Still I feel that letting nature takes its course proves to be a blessing, but I will be getting my tubes tied now as I really am to old to have another!

Do what you feel in your heart! Sometimes its hard to get DH on board at the same time, but if its something you want really bad, he will hopefully jump on board!!
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  #5  
July 28th, 2013, 11:34 PM
EverydayJoy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Pacific NW
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With our second, I was a bit ambivalent about it, I knew I wanted more than one but wasn't sure I wanted to start the process all over again (newborn, pregnancy, etc). We did NTNP for a year, and then I had a miscarriage after being pregnant for a couple months. That cemented my desire to TTC...once I was emotionally ready, I was POAS with the ovulation predictors, timing BD'ing, and all that jazz. I wanted a second one so badly.
Sometimes I think it's ok to be not 100% sure you want another one, and just go for it. I think for some people, they always will have the little insecurities about it, for whatever reasons--finances, can I handle it emotionally, etc, and maybe for those people you just can't have the 100% all-in mentality. That's just my 2 cents!
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  #6  
July 29th, 2013, 07:15 AM
melissalaw's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: Tennessee
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Ours were planned. I wanted 2 1/2 years in between my first 2 and then we had a miscarriage so our boys ended up being 3 years apart which has been great. with this latest pregnancy, Jacob will be almost 2 and Jackson will be 4 when he or she is born. I think that is a bit close together but we are older and knew we wanted 3 so we decided to go ahead and get pregnant. It's never the exact perfect time, so I would definitely talk to DH and get the IUD removed and then go from there. Good Luck.
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  #7  
August 1st, 2013, 11:21 AM
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Location: Delaware (the state!)
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I had Mirena and had it removed and it didn't take long at all to get pregnant once we started trying. I had it removed and we went to condoms for a month, I chose to have it taken out while I was there for my annual, just easier than having two different appts. My doc said that you can start trying as soon as it is out, no need to wait like with the pill. We then just went to NTNP, but DH was hardly home because of work, so once we really started TTC, I got pg right away, so about 3 months after removing the Mirena.

We planned our age gap, we wanted 2-3 years, 2 years was too soon for us for many reasons, but then we got to the almost 3 years and it was just time. We are going to start TTC again probably in Jan/Feb for #3, so that would be a little over 2 years between #2 and #3.

I agree, go with what you feel is right, talk about getting the IUD out and then go with what you feel is right for you two.
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  #8  
August 7th, 2013, 12:29 AM
doremi's Avatar Team Blue Mama of Two
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: USA
Posts: 17,492
We planned for both our boys. Josiah's conception happened quickly and my pregnancy with him was textbook perfect. So, we assumed the same would be true when we wanted to have #2. We started TTC when Josiah turned 2. It took 8 months to get pregnant, we lost the baby. Then it took 4 months to get pregnant again, and we lost that one too. We got pregnant with Jamison 3 months after that. By then he was VERY much wanted! I think the scenario would have been totally different if our losses had come at the start of our TTC journey instead of after our first healthy baby.
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