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A moment of sadness.


Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss

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  • 1 Post By EverydayJoy
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  #1  
August 31st, 2013, 09:31 PM
Pleione's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 462
As much as I love my little man, there are days I find myself running across my first son's pictures and feeling incredibly ... sad.

That pain never goes away. Never...goes away.
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  #2  
August 31st, 2013, 10:31 PM
EverydayJoy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Pacific NW
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I'm so, so sorry. No one should ever have to go through that pain.
Even over a year and a half since my miscarriage, which was only about 12 weeks along, I still feel sadness when I think about her. And I can only imagine how exponentially worse it is when you have the whole pregnancy to cherish and love your baby, and when you get to hold them after they're born. The bond between the two you must be so much stronger, and that much more incredibly painful when it is broken.
Some people recommend getting pregnant again like it's going to make us all perfectly happy again. Like one baby replaces another--how ridiculous! No baby could ever take the place of the one you lost. He is special and can never be replaced.
Big hugs!!!

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  #3  
August 31st, 2013, 11:02 PM
kaylakay's Avatar Love Being A Mommy
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Location: Utah
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I cant imagine what you are going through. I am so sorry. You will never forget your first son and I feel its okay to be sad. You have a beautiful angel baby and a beautiful earth baby.
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  #4  
September 1st, 2013, 12:12 AM
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I'm so sorry. Your beautiful angel is not forgotten. Sending hugs & hoping you find peace.
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  #5  
September 1st, 2013, 06:01 AM
lelila's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I'm so sorry for your loss. You have endured every mother's worst nightmare. No one should have to lose a child, I'm sorry you did. My mother lost a child shortly after birth 50 years ago and she still has moments of grief. It is a mother's love that continues those feelings of loss and love. Take those moments when you need to.

Find peace and comfort in the joy of each day you have with your beautiful new child. It doesn't mean you have forgotten your lost love one.
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  #6  
September 1st, 2013, 07:44 AM
Ame C's Avatar Every breath is a gift.
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Oh Sabrina!!!! (((((HUGS))))) Your boys are so beautiful and it's not fair sweetie!! It will never feel right. I believe you when you say the pain never goes away, but it's totally understandable because that love and longing to hold your sweet Alexander 1 more time will always weigh heavy on your heart. It is very much like that song One More Day. "One more day. One more time. One more sunset maybe I'd be satisfied. But then again, I know what it would do... Leave me wishing still, for one more day with you." It breaks my heart, I'm in tears at the moment. Sending you so much love and support. I wish I was there with you to give you a hug and cry with you. xoxoxo!!
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  #7  
September 1st, 2013, 07:14 PM
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Ame- well stated. That song is beautiful bc it captures the heart's truth.
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  #8  
September 1st, 2013, 08:33 PM
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I'm so, so sorry. ((Big hugs))
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  #9  
September 3rd, 2013, 09:53 AM
melissalaw's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 14,166
I'm so sorry that you are sad. No mother should ever have to experience a loss. Amy put is well with her song One More Day. My heart breaks for all the women who have had a stillbirth. I can't even imagine the pain. I lost my little one at 11 weeks and it still breaks my heart so I know your pain is so great. Just hold tight to that sweet baby here on earth and know that someday you will hold your angel baby.
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  #10  
September 5th, 2013, 11:15 AM
Pleione's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 462
Thank you SO much ladies. I've been feeling really down and out about my first son. I don't know if it was postpartum depression or just realizing it's only been a year but .... I really needed this. Thank you so much..
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  #11  
September 5th, 2013, 11:58 AM
momof8lopez's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Brought tears to me, I could never fully understand your pain, and pray that holding your sweet Daniel brings some sort of comfort. Lots of hugs to you mama.
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  #12  
September 8th, 2013, 09:23 PM
doremi's Avatar Team Blue Mama of Two
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: USA
Posts: 17,491
Own those feelings, mama. You have every right to still be sad, and to continually grieve for Alexander. What a beautiful light Daniel is, and we celebrate him with you! But one life can't replace another. I remember when Josiah was born, it was just a few months after my Dad had died of cancer at age 53. People tried to insinuate that Josiah's birth could somehow help wipe away all the sadness. Nope, not how it works. Instead, you are thrown into a wild roller coaster of emotions. Elation and joy over your new baby one minute, grief over what could have been the next. Praying for you, that the waves of grief and sadness will be fewer and further in between as time goes on.
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