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Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss

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  • 1 Post By lelila
  • 1 Post By Boos Moo

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  #1  
October 30th, 2013, 07:45 AM
lelila's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 2,953
Couple of Random thoughts this morning for you all and a few questions.

We heat our house with wood and it's my job to keep the fire going 24/7 so the house doesn't get cold. I was pleasantly surprised last night when DH stocked the woodstove for the night because I was struggling with the large heavy logs. Of course, he didn't help me with the 3 heavy baskets of laundry I had to haul up 2 flights of stairs. But, baby steps. Mornings are getting tougher for me taking care of our poultry. Bending over to scoop feed out, lifting coop and feed doors, etc is getting tougher and I'm only half way there - the easy half. I'm worried about the next 20 weeks in sub-zero temps, 2 ft of snow, with 20+ extra lbs on me. I'm grateful our farming is done for the winter.

I'm finding that I need to sit down more, that my abdomen is tired and achy and my stomach muscles spasm several times a day now from fatigue. I'm worried that when I get really big I will be in constant discomfort.

What are you all doing about manual labor? I have so much lifting (not very heavy) and bending for my chores, I'm worried that I'm straining my muscles just in the constant action. My back aches from hours of standing.

What about weight gain? I haven't really gained anything; maybe 1 or 2 lbs and now I'm worried about low birth weight or worse.

How is your general fatigue? I'm utterly exhausted. At the end of the day, my arms shake when I try to lift pots and pans when doing dishes. I go to bed and my legs and feet ache. I wake exhausted and fall asleep easily at my desk during work. Thank goodness my boss finally cut my hours to 5 hours a day.

Anyone else getting Bloody Noses? We have a dry house because of the wood heat and run a humidifier. Yesterday I had a bloody nose last almost all day.

I guess I was fooling myself regarding pregnancy at this age. I thought, hey, if Abigail Adams could do it all by herself in the year 1810, I could do it now. But I was wrong. I'm struggling and the worst is yet to come, but I'm afraid to ask for help from DH. He ridicules me for being weak and paranoid that manual labor will hurt the baby.

Am I being too much of a pansy?
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Leia 41 yrs young

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Mommy to Little Brother, our Rainbow, March 24, 2014

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  #2  
October 30th, 2013, 08:11 AM
melissalaw's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 14,262
You are definitely not a pansy. I don't know how you do what you do. No way could I do what you do right now. My kids get the floor filthy during dinner time and I usually get a wash cloth and just wipe up under the table after dinner well Monday night I got down on the floor and then couldn't get back up..lol. And it really hurt me to get down anyway so I just told DH that he was going to have to start cleaning the floor after dinner because I was just getting too big. So what you are doing as far as bending over to scoop out the feed and take care of things I know there is no way I could do it. Do you have someone else that can help you when you do get too big to take care of it? And I would just ask your husband to carry that laundry up the stairs. I have everybody in our house put their dirty clothes in the laundry baskets with the exception of my 18 month old and then I do all the laundry and I put the clean folded laundry on the dryer and they can put it up. No way am I going to cart all that laundry away. You might try something like that if it's getting too hard on you.

you definitely need to get a heating pad for your back. My back is killing me and I'm not doing the manual labor that you do. I have a heating pad that I put on my back every night for about an hour and it does a world of difference helping my back pain.

I've gained more than I want to admit. Your weight gain is something I would talk to your dr about. I have a girl in one of my PR who has only gained 2 lbs and she's 29 weeks and her dr says it is fine but she was overweight before getting pregnancy. If I remember correctly you are small already so I would talk to your dr and see what he says.

And I'm exhausted. My dr did some blood work last week to check my thyroid and Vitamin D levels because I have been so tired. Everything came back normal so he said that I'm so exhausted because I work full time and then come home and take care of my 2 little rug rats so I think exhaustion just comes with the territory. Again though I would mention it to your dr. He might want to do some blood work also just to make sure everything is ok.

Oh and don't get me started on nose bleeds. I posted about this in my DDC the other day. I am getting terrible nose bleeds and my dr said again perfectly normal. With the dryness of the weather and now adding in the use of the heat plus the increase in blood volume from pregnancy nose bleeds are very common. I just deal with them even though they suck.

I'm so sorry that your afraid to ask your DH to help you. Tell him to walk around with a big bowling ball on his belly for a few days and then talk to you then. I don't think you are doing anything to hurt the baby just make sure you watch out for contractions. I had what seemed like a bunch the other day so I drank a ton of water and laid down and they went away. I mentioned it to my dr and he said I most likely just over did it so you will need to try not to over do it if that's possible.
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  #3  
October 30th, 2013, 08:37 AM
lelila's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Thanks Melissa. You are an awesome resource and a comforting voice of reason. The heating pad is a wonderful idea. Do they make them body-sized?

My DS is almost 8 years old. I think it is time to get him more involved in chores. Starting with the vacuuming and laundry.

I admire you for cleaning the floor. I haven't mopped in ages - and with dogs, cats and muddy farm boots, that is an embarrassing statement.
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Leia 41 yrs young

Wife to Big Bull 40
Mommy to Big Brother our first Miracle Feb 24 2006
Mommy to Little Brother, our Rainbow, March 24, 2014

Never Forgetting our Angels 2012, 2013
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  #4  
October 30th, 2013, 09:06 AM
melissalaw's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: Tennessee
Posts: 14,262
LOL. I would so love to have a body sized heating pad!!

I agree that your 8 year old is old enough to start helping plus he will probably really enjoy having more responsibility.

Well when there is a huge glob of mashed potatoes on the floor I am compelled to clean it up..lol. I am a bit anal though about our floors. I think I get on DH's nerves sometimes. But then again I don't have all the other chores that you do so if I did what you did I don't think I would be cleaning the floor either.
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  #5  
October 30th, 2013, 10:02 AM
Boos Moo's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Oh sweetie I'm so sorry your struggling right now. Remember to put yourself and baby first during this time. It may seem like a long time, another 20 weeks or so, but in the grand scheme of things, 20 weeks isn't long at all.
My DH has taken over most of my chores for me, but right now I'm still able to feed the chickens (though putting the food up on something higher so we don't have to bend to get to it might be an idea), but it won't be long before I ask DH to take that over as well. My DD (10) has her list of chores, but I have her doing extra during my pregnancy to help her mom out. Maybe your DH could at least chop the logs into smaller sizes so you can move them easier. I know my doctor doesn't recommend heavy lifting (but I'm high risk also).
I hope your able to get the help you deserve and need, being pregnant can be hard at any age. But I'm older also and it does seem to be harder on me this time around. Hugs.
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  #6  
October 30th, 2013, 02:35 PM
Schofield06's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Missouri
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Oh my! I don't think I could do all that. I hurt doing a fraction of the manual labor that you do! I'm sorry you can't ask your DH for help more. I don't think they have any idea or frame of reference for what pregnancy is like so they just don't get it at all sometimes. I know my DH can be the same way. He's always asking me: "why are you so sore? you didn't do hardly anything."
Having your son help out seems like a good idea. I'd also suggest recruiting any other help where/when you can. Maybe have a friend/family come out and help one day a week or so?

I think checking with the Doc about the fatigue/weight gain is best. It may be normal, but may not be. Never hurts to make sure.

I haven't had a full on bloody nose yet, but mine usually bleeds some most of the day. It may get worse as we are just getting into colder weather here and we have wood heat as well. A pan of water on the stove in addition to the humidifier may help. The humidifier may not be adding as much moisture to the air as you need.
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