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I need some advice


Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss

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  • 1 Post By cortln
  • 2 Post By melissalaw
  • 1 Post By Boos Moo
  • 1 Post By cortln
  • 1 Post By geogeek
  • 1 Post By Sunrise
  • 1 Post By lelila
  • 1 Post By Ame C
  • 1 Post By melissalaw
  • 2 Post By Schofield06

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  #1  
October 30th, 2013, 08:44 AM
Ame C's Avatar Every breath is a gift.
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 3,722
Clyde's birthday is fast approaching and I have no idea what to do. Celebrating (making a cake) doesn't feel right to me or DH, but then again doing nothing and pretending his bday is any other day doesn't feel right either. I need help and ideas. I want it to be something I can do every year, so planting a tree wouldn't really be realistic. Clyde was cremated so we can't take flowers and gifts to his grave. Maybe I could release a balloon or something... but helium doesn't float in cold weather, does it?

I'm feeling overwhelmed and can't think! I want to do SOMETHING for him but at this point I have zero ideas.
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  #2  
October 30th, 2013, 08:49 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Illinois
Posts: 1,855
What about one of those lanterns? I don't know what they are called but people release them instead of balloons sometimes....you could attach a happy birthday note to it.
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  #3  
October 30th, 2013, 09:00 AM
Ame C's Avatar Every breath is a gift.
Join Date: Mar 2012
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I would have to search pinterest or something like that to know how to do it. I've never made one before. Do you use a real flame, like a candle?
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  #4  
October 30th, 2013, 09:03 AM
melissalaw's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Tennessee
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I think balloons will still work in the cold weather. I know we had balloons at Jacobs birthday party in April and it was cold then and we still released the balloons.

I remember Brittanie getting some butterflys from somewhere and her and her living kids released those for Cora. I thought that was special.
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  #5  
October 30th, 2013, 10:07 AM
Boos Moo's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2013
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I know this in no way compares so I hope I don't offend, but my DD makes a memorial (or rememberance) stone for each pet we lose (yes, even the chickens). She has them in different places around the yard. Then when she is feeling sad or missing them she picks flowers and places them on the stone and just spends some time remembering them.

Or maybe buy a special candle that you only light on Clyde's birthday to remember him. I like the balloon idea also. I'm sure a helium balloon would float still (if you can find one, some of our stores have been out of helium because of the shortage, but maybe that is over).
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  #6  
October 30th, 2013, 10:28 AM
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Location: Illinois
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Here's the lanterns

Paper Floating Lantern Red 10 Lot Memorial Party Sky | eBay
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  #7  
October 30th, 2013, 10:39 AM
geogeek's Avatar Marsi's Mommy
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I would put a special memorial together, light a candle and just spend some time remembering him.
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  #8  
October 30th, 2013, 10:52 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 1,108
I'm sorry ame.

I like the pp. I can see how it can feel overwhelming. Maybe get yourself a special necklace or bracelet? Or consider a donation to a charity in his name? I don't know if you have a religious preference, but you can consider a religious service in his honor.

Hugs...
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  #9  
October 30th, 2013, 11:42 AM
lelila's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Oh Ame, what a heartbreaking day to remember. For our last memorial, we planted a miniature rose bush in our flower garden. But I like the PP ideas of donations and memorial stones, a memory bracelet or lighting a candle.
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  #10  
October 30th, 2013, 01:31 PM
Ame C's Avatar Every breath is a gift.
Join Date: Mar 2012
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I guess the hardest part is Clyde is so special to me. It's hard to think of anything special enough in comparison to do for his death/birthday. Everything seems to fall short of the plans I WISH I could do for him.
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  #11  
October 30th, 2013, 01:33 PM
melissalaw's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Tennessee
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Amy you are in my prayers during this difficult time. I know there are no words to help but just know that we are here for you.
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  #12  
October 30th, 2013, 02:54 PM
Schofield06's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Missouri
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So hard to figure out what to do for these days. My SIL has had a baby girl and triplets that she lost during birth. One thing she does is she takes clothes/bears to the hospital to be given to the first baby/babies born on their birthday's. They just give them to the nurses who gives them to the family.
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