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Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss


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  • 2 Post By EverydayJoy
  • 1 Post By melissalaw

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November 15th, 2013, 01:53 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 1,017
December is an angerversary for me. The holidays were hard anyway- but this multiplies it. I feel guilty bc I am preg and I should just be so happy. But I remember. And I remember hiding my broken heart. And I remember hearing others' preg announcements. And, I guess it still hurts (my heart).

Today I'm ok. But I'm afraid that as thanksgiving rolls around, then the first snow, then the big winter holidays... I may loose it.

My plans: more cake baking. Finding more distractions.

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November 15th, 2013, 02:20 PM
geogeek's Avatar Marsi's Mommy
Join Date: May 2009
Location: In yonder mountains
Posts: 9,267
I am so sorry. This was me in October. Guilty because I was pregnant and mourning the loss of the baby that was due in October. I know WAY easier said than done, but don't beat yourself up about being sad. Yes, you love your new little baby. But, you can and SHOULD grieve the losses you have gone through as well. Lots of thoughts heading your way.

Thank you PrincessMom08 for my beautiful siggy!

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November 15th, 2013, 03:10 PM
Ame C's Avatar Every breath is a gift.
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 3,330
It's hard ((hugs))

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November 15th, 2013, 04:43 PM
Schofield06's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Missouri
Posts: 2,344
Such a hard time to go through. Don't feel bad about needing the time to grieve.
Aug. 21 2012
Mar. 31 2013
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November 15th, 2013, 05:53 PM
EverydayJoy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Pacific NW
Posts: 6,351
Remembering your little angel.
I agree that there's nothing wrong with grieving what you lost. The baby inside you doesn't replace the one you lost. If someone lost a child that was living, say a 10 year old or something, then got pregnant after that, no one would tell them that they shouldn't grieve the 10 year old anymore or that he/she didn't matter because of the pregnancy. OK, maybe some inept moron would say that, but not REAL people, hah.
What I'm saying is, the baby you lost was a real person, and there's nothing wrong with grieving the loss of that little life.
melissalaw and Ame C like this.

Little Bud: Blooming in Heaven 1.24.12
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November 15th, 2013, 09:20 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 1,017
Thanks for the kind words ladies.

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November 16th, 2013, 12:40 AM
Lucy S.'s Avatar POAS addict
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Bay area CA
Posts: 5,224
TTC#3 since Summer 2011
10 IUIs= one confirmed and lots of BFN
9/13/13 IVF#1 ( One 5AA blast)= BFN
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2/26/14 FET (Two 5BA blasts)= BFP!!!
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3/24/14= We have a heartbeat and ONE sticky bean!
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November 16th, 2013, 08:02 AM
Just keep breathing.
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 1,761
Big hugs to you. I"m sorry. I understand what you're going through. My first loss happened a year ago Nov 8. I think I was mostly blocking out those memories- but it came out this week as a LOT of anxiety about this current pregnancy. Like the others said, there's nothing wrong with being sad, missing our babies.
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November 16th, 2013, 09:46 AM
Boos Moo's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 3,515
Hugs sweetie. I'll be wishing you the best this season.

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November 18th, 2013, 06:17 AM
melissalaw's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 13,583
I'm so sorry that your having a hard time. Angelversaries are so hard and the holidays seem to make them even worse. I love my kids so much but I will always ache for the child that I should have but don't. My little ones' EDD was December 22 so right around Christmas is really hard for me also.

I hate so much that any of us has to feel this pain but I am so thankful that I have all you ladies to lean on because you completely understand.
MelChicago likes this.

Thank you *Kiliki* for my beautiful siggy
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November 18th, 2013, 08:55 AM
MoonAngel702's Avatar ~Staying Positive~
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Nevada
Posts: 2,515
Awww I'm SO sorry. I hope that you will be to enjoy the holidays as much as you can. Definitely focus on baking if that's what you enjoy to do! Big (((hugs)))
"Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain."
Chad & Lindsey~Furbabies Bella & Oliver
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November 18th, 2013, 11:00 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 2,616
(((HUGS)))) Such a hard time, especially around the holidays. I found myself being angry at all pregnant women and women with newborns when I hit my last Angelversary. I still am sometimes, even though I am one of them now!

PP is right, you have to grieve and make room for those feelings. But also, there is such a happy bundle of joy growing inside you - don't feel guilty that they are there - and don't feel guilty about loving them.

Keeping busy is a great way to cope. Try to find joy in the season.
Mommy to the most wonderful boy, 8 yrs old.
9/12 at 5wks 3/13 at 11 wks
New Baby Boy Born March 24. Our second miracle!
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