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December is an angerversary for me. The holidays were hard anyway- but this multiplies it. I feel guilty bc I am preg and I should just be so happy. But I remember. And I remember hiding my broken heart. And I remember hearing others' preg announcements. And, I guess it still hurts (my heart).
Today I'm ok. But I'm afraid that as thanksgiving rolls around, then the first snow, then the big winter holidays... I may loose it.
My plans: more cake baking. Finding more distractions.
I am so sorry. This was me in October. Guilty because I was pregnant and mourning the loss of the baby that was due in October. I know WAY easier said than done, but don't beat yourself up about being sad. Yes, you love your new little baby. But, you can and SHOULD grieve the losses you have gone through as well. Lots of thoughts heading your way.
Remembering your little angel.
I agree that there's nothing wrong with grieving what you lost. The baby inside you doesn't replace the one you lost. If someone lost a child that was living, say a 10 year old or something, then got pregnant after that, no one would tell them that they shouldn't grieve the 10 year old anymore or that he/she didn't matter because of the pregnancy. OK, maybe some inept moron would say that, but not REAL people, hah.
What I'm saying is, the baby you lost was a real person, and there's nothing wrong with grieving the loss of that little life.
TTC#3 since Summer 2011
10 IUIs= one confirmed and lots of BFN
9/13/13 IVF#1 ( One 5AA blast)= BFN
11/18/13 FET (Two 5AA blasts)=
2/26/14 FET (Two 5BA blasts)= BFP!!!
Beta HCG 14 DPO: 181 / 17 DPO: 870 / 24 DPO: 16,051
3/24/14= We have a heartbeat and ONE sticky bean! My blog
Big hugs to you. I"m sorry. I understand what you're going through. My first loss happened a year ago Nov 8. I think I was mostly blocking out those memories- but it came out this week as a LOT of anxiety about this current pregnancy. Like the others said, there's nothing wrong with being sad, missing our babies.
I'm so sorry that your having a hard time. Angelversaries are so hard and the holidays seem to make them even worse. I love my kids so much but I will always ache for the child that I should have but don't. My little ones' EDD was December 22 so right around Christmas is really hard for me also.
I hate so much that any of us has to feel this pain but I am so thankful that I have all you ladies to lean on because you completely understand.
(((HUGS)))) Such a hard time, especially around the holidays. I found myself being angry at all pregnant women and women with newborns when I hit my last Angelversary. I still am sometimes, even though I am one of them now!
PP is right, you have to grieve and make room for those feelings. But also, there is such a happy bundle of joy growing inside you - don't feel guilty that they are there - and don't feel guilty about loving them.
Keeping busy is a great way to cope. Try to find joy in the season.
Mommy to the most wonderful boy, 8 yrs old.
9/12 at 5wks 3/13 at 11 wks
New Baby Boy Born March 24. Our second miracle!