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fighting the terror and sadness.


Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss

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  #1  
January 24th, 2014, 08:58 AM
geogeek's Avatar Marsi's Mommy
Join Date: May 2009
Location: In yonder mountains
Posts: 9,339
Sometimes things hit me like a brick wall. Well, the realization hit me yesterday that one of my terrors is coinciding with the first anniversary of my loss. This time in my pregnancy with Marsi is when I went into preterm labor on my way to a baby shower. Yes, this pregnancy has been a lot easier than Marsi's. But, I do get tons of BH contractions all day and night. I am so glad that I loathed Valentines day prior to it being the day I lost my first after Marsi. So, I am terrified for Dorian and sad that I am missing my baby. A weird dichotomy.
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  #2  
January 24th, 2014, 09:04 AM
Boos Moo's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 3,980
Hugs. It's so hard. This past Tuesday was a year ago I went in for my dating u/s only to find no HB and Wednesday was the day a year ago I had another dnc. Luckily I had both my appointments on Tuesday and we got a great u/s so I didn't even think about it.
You're getting close to Dorian being here. I know it probably sounds lame, but hang in there, you can do it.
Hugs.
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  #3  
January 24th, 2014, 09:51 AM
Schofield06's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Missouri
Posts: 2,364
This whole pregnancy has been kind of weird for me since it lines up almost exactly with my first pregnancy as far as dates. My due date is only 4 days different. It was really hard in August which is when I lost my first pregnancy. So I get the weird mix of missing the one you lost with being excited about this one. I'm right there with you. This is where I should have been a year ago with that one.
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  #4  
January 24th, 2014, 10:20 AM
melissalaw's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 14,225
I'm so sorry. Loss dates are so hard. I hate them because I am so sad but also because nobody else knows that there is any significance on that day.

Just make sure your midwife knows of all the contractions. I've been having contractions daily since about 23 weeks and they have progressively gotten worse and worse and they haven't done much to my cervix or dialation so hopefully yours is just BH contractions also and they are not doing anything.
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  #5  
January 24th, 2014, 10:31 AM
Belita's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 12,105
I'm sure everything is ok. I understand, though. My EDD this time is exactly 1 week after my EDD with my loss so things line up pretty eerily for me as well. I hope the rest of your pregnancy is nice and boring!
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  #6  
January 24th, 2014, 12:09 PM
Just keep breathing.
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 1,960
Big hugs. I too completely sympathize- my due date is just 5 days after my first due date (which was the day before Mother's Day). It's hard to to deal with the "anniversaries" and think about how things could have been different. You're not alone, friend.
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  #7  
January 24th, 2014, 12:13 PM
jumpingoffplace's Avatar Love the life you live.
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: VT, USA
Posts: 431
((hugs))) I don't have any words of wisdom but please know I understand and am sending hugs and prayers your way.
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Proud mom of 2 beautiful children (and one on the way!), Desiree (3) and Austen (2). Desiree has autism but that just adds to her sparkle.

06/2007 10/2008 ~Gone but not forgotten.~

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  #8  
January 24th, 2014, 01:19 PM
momology's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Houston, Texas
Posts: 6,296
I just passed the anniversary of my first loss and it brought up all sorts of weird emotions. I am so sorry you are feeling this way.

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  #9  
January 24th, 2014, 01:25 PM
geogeek's Avatar Marsi's Mommy
Join Date: May 2009
Location: In yonder mountains
Posts: 9,339
Thanks ladies. Baby would have been over 3 months old. I am just taking it hard. Thanks for being so understanding.
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  #10  
January 24th, 2014, 01:26 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Delaware (the state!)
Posts: 7,086
I am so sorry, I get it, sadly, we all do. My 2nd loss, in between the girls, I was due on Reagan's birthday. So, when Reagan's birthday comes along now, I think of that baby. I lost her right before my birthday too, double whammy, so I know how hard it is. Hugs! Dorian will be here before you know it.
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  #11  
January 28th, 2014, 01:40 AM
..Michelle..'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Central Illinois
Posts: 1,298
For me, this pregnancy seems like a "do-over" just 6 years later. I found out Jan. 5th 2008 I was pregnant with Roman (I was 3 weeks late on AF). This time I found out Dec. 27th, 2013 I'm pregnant again. When I was 30 weeks with Roman, I will be 30 weeks with this baby. They both had/have the same due date of September 1st.
I know it is total coincidence but like I said, it feels like I'm getting a do-over and I'm terrified.
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  #12  
January 28th, 2014, 02:34 AM
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Join Date: Feb 2013
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I keep thinking of mine, too. I'd have a little baby by now!

I'm sorry these weird emotions are popping up... Loss dates do that. Hopefully it gets easier with time.
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