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another loss in my DDC


Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss

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  • 1 Post By melissalaw
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  #1  
January 27th, 2014, 05:53 AM
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This is the second loss in my DDC in the last couple of weeks, we are all in our second trimester now and it's really freaking me out She had just felt her baby move the night before her routine appointment. They aren't sure what happened but they think there may be a knot in the cord She is being induced today I believe.

This is just so scary to me. I know there's nothing I can do to prevent things like that from happening but it just makes me so scared and sad

I don't feel the baby move much and when I think I do I'm not even 100% sure it's the baby. This is my third pregnancy, 2nd child if nothing goes wrong. I just really thought I'd be feeling a lot of movement by now at 18 1/2 weeks. 1st pregnancy was a crazy little girl who never stops, maybe this one is a laid back boy who is calm like my husband...?? I don't know... All I know is that I wish I could just feel this kid kick me!

Thanks for letting me vent lol This is the only place I can come where people understand and won't just tell me "Oh I'm sure everything is fine, you need to relax, blah blah blah"
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  #2  
January 27th, 2014, 06:55 AM
melissalaw's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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the later losses scare me more than the earlier losses. I'm sorry that you are worrying. I'm getting near the end of my pregnancy and it seems the later I get the more worried I become. It just sucks. We are planning on inducing at 39 weeks and I know part of the reason I want to induce is just because I want him here and not in my tummy. I feel like he is safer in my arms than in my tummy. Girls in my DDC would never understand and most are against inductions so I just don't really mention it to them.

Do you know where your placenta is? With this pregnancy I had an anterior placenta and it was much later than with my other two when I finally started feeling alot of movement. That could be part of your movement issue. Just check on baby with your doppler and hopefully that will give you some reassurance.

I would also talk to your dr about your fears. I know I have expressed all my fears to my dr and he has been great in seeing me more often to help give me reassurance.
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  #3  
January 27th, 2014, 07:15 AM
EverydayJoy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Ugh later losses are SO hard to read about. Any loss is hard to read about, because #1 you've been there, so you know how that person is probably feeling, and it stirs up those feelings in yourself. And #2 it just drives home the fact that we all are already painfully aware of, which is the fragility of life. I don't think there's anything anyone can say that would reassure you, I wish we all had a crystal ball and could see whether or not our babies would be ok! But we just have to wait...and the waiting really, really sucks. Hugs!
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  #4  
January 27th, 2014, 07:28 AM
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Loss is hard no matter what, but these later losses really freak me out too and I'm not pregnant right now. Most women don't feel regular movement until around the 20-22 week mark, so this baby might just be a later mover and shaker, or like Melissa said, you have an anterior placenta. My best friend had one and she never felt her baby move that much. I would definitely talk to your doc and let him/her know how you are feeling.
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  #5  
January 27th, 2014, 10:39 AM
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That's so hard, I'm so sorry for that mama. It's awful to hear about, especially after going through loss yourself.

As horrible as later losses are, they are quite rare. I know that doesn't help exactly, but it's something. And- bear with me- it's entirely out of our control. After 3 losses, I've really begun to free myself of a lot of those kinds of fears. I know how bad it can be- and I made it through- and that doesn't mean I EVER want to go through a loss again- but I know for a fact there's nothing I could do. So, in an odd way, that helps me just release it, and not dwell on it.
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  #6  
January 27th, 2014, 10:46 AM
Schofield06's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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So scary to see the later losses. Definitely freaks me out some to read about them.
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  #7  
January 27th, 2014, 10:50 AM
geogeek's Avatar Marsi's Mommy
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It is so hard to see others go through what you have gone through. It definitely makes me scared for my baby when that happens as well.
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  #8  
January 27th, 2014, 11:01 AM
smsturner's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Oh no! 2nd trimester losses are so hard. Poor lady.
I found those really bothered me to read about too.

Like Melissa, I have an anterior placenta, so I didn't feel much until after the 20 week mark. Maybe that's what's going on for you?
Hugs hun.
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I never knew until that moment how badly it could hurt to lose something you never really had. - Missed Miscarriage at 10 weeks - 3/26/13
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  #9  
January 27th, 2014, 11:13 AM
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I'm definately going to ask about my placenta at my next appointment. They never mentioned it so I'm not sure. I never got a doppler (i know I should but i just keep thinking anytime now i'll feel the baby!)

I'm glad you all understand.

Next Friday the 7th is my 20 week ultrasound, I'm especially nervous for this appointment because my husband and 2 1/2 year old daughter will be with me. I absolutely cannot lose it with my daughter in the room if there's something wrong. I'm having 2nd thoughts about her being there but I want her to see her baby brother or sister so badly!
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  #10  
January 27th, 2014, 11:42 AM
melissalaw's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Courtney I'm sure that everything will be fine with your little one next Friday.

I do hope that you start feeling baby move regularly. That has helped me. Although I still freak out when I haven't felt him in awhile. I'm sure I drive him nuts poking at my belly to get him to move so I know he's ok in ther.
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  #11  
January 27th, 2014, 12:22 PM
kaylakay's Avatar Love Being A Mommy
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Second and third trimester losses are so rare. Yes, I know we've had 2 in our DDC but it really is rare. We probably only have 2-4 stillbirths come in a month. (We average 300 births a month) Those are pretty good odds.

I just came to terms that there is nothing I can do. I hope I don't lose my little man but on the very rare chance it happened what can I do?

Try to think of the positives
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  #12  
January 27th, 2014, 03:03 PM
momology's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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losses are so hard and always scary. Hang in there Cort
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  #13  
January 28th, 2014, 12:52 AM
..Michelle..'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I'm in the September 2014 DDC and we've already had 5 women leave due to loss. So sorry that you're further along and seeing a lot of losses as well
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  #14  
January 28th, 2014, 09:35 AM
MoonAngel702's Avatar ~Staying Positive~
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As I'm sure you probably know, I lost my 1st baby at 21w3d and he was measuring weeks ahead. It is something nobody should ever have to go through. You would think I am freaking out as I get closer and closer to that time but I'm not. I've finally accept that what is meant to be will be. We have no control over anything when it comes to pregnancy. You just have to hope for the best and think positive thoughts. Stress about the unknown future doesn't do anything to help the current situation.
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  #15  
January 28th, 2014, 11:22 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MoonAngel702 View Post
As I'm sure you probably know, I lost my 1st baby at 21w3d and he was measuring weeks ahead. It is something nobody should ever have to go through. You would think I am freaking out as I get closer and closer to that time but I'm not. I've finally accept that what is meant to be will be. We have no control over anything when it comes to pregnancy. You just have to hope for the best and think positive thoughts. Stress about the unknown future doesn't do anything to help the current situation.
Your so right, it doesn't do anything to help the current situation. I worry about everything in life, always have. I need to figure out a way to push those types of thoughts out of my head.

I am so sorry for your loss
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  #16  
January 29th, 2014, 02:43 AM
Boos Moo's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Hugs. It's so hard to read or hear about others losses (it's hard enough to deal with the ones we've been through ourselves). But it doesn't mean that anything is going to happen to you (that's what I tell myself).
As for your 20 week u/s you could have your DD wait in the waiting room with DH (or another family member) until you get good news and then the nurse could bring them in. But even if you decide to leave her home with someone and just go you and DH she'll have lots of chances to see the LO at later u/s's. Just a thought.
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