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My in-laws strike again!


Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss

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  #1  
January 31st, 2014, 02:05 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2013
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I'm trying not to let my head explode right now. Sigh. I'm not sure if you recall that my inlaws are pretty horrible.

Well, they hired DH's brother as their accountant. He is very crooked and it makes me incredibly nervous. I'm so scared DH and I are going to get audited because of his shoddy work, and I'm pretty sure if that happens we'll be on our own.

Last year BIL lied through his teeth on DH's taxes -- when I saw the paperwork I was horrified. Pretty much what happened is DH's parents made too much money, so to avoid paying taxes on it, they claimed that DH used a huge sum of it as his own income. DH, of course, never saw a penny of it. BIL did go ahead and give DH a certain amount of expenses (DH bought them a tractor that they are now refusing to reimburse him for). So, last year we didn't have to pay in despite all the messing around BIL did.

This made me incredibly uncomfortable. The entire situation was just absurd and it makes me really anxious to think the CRA (the Canadian tax people) are just going to show up on our door. This year DH demanded that he have his own taxes done properly by someone of his choosing.

Of course, they inflated his income and did not give him any expenses so this year we are going to have to pay in. We don't have any money. None.

Add to this, if we have to pay in, we are not going to receive the full amount of benefits from my leave from work for when the baby is born. So, we can't make ends meet without me working; but daycare is so expensive here and we live so far out -- my job will just barely pay enough to cover gas and daycare.

I really thought if we did cloth diapers and breastfeeding, we would be able to make it financially.

I wish these people were out of our lives completely. I can't believe they would do this to their own son/ brother.

I don't know what we're going to do
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  #2  
January 31st, 2014, 05:45 AM
lelila's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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You are in a tough situation. Is there any way you can take your financial dealings to an independent consultant?
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  #3  
January 31st, 2014, 06:48 AM
melissalaw's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: Tennessee
Posts: 14,164
Can your husband talk to them and let them know how hard it is when they inflate his income. Sounds like they need to include some of that income in their and bear some of the burden of the tax liability.

I'm sorry that you all are in this situation. Family makes things so hard sometimes.
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  #4  
January 31st, 2014, 06:58 AM
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I wish I had some better advice. I"m really sorry they are so horrible.
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  #5  
January 31st, 2014, 07:08 AM
Boos Moo's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I'm so sorry, that sounds awful. I wish I had some great advice, but the whole thing just blows my mind. I do have hugs to offer.
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  #6  
January 31st, 2014, 08:32 AM
momology's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I am so sorry you are still having to deal with all of these types of issues I agree it really seems very wrong that they would be inflating your DHs salary! I know you guys have not had much luck discussing things like that with them in the past. I hope you guys can work something out!!

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  #7  
January 31st, 2014, 08:59 AM
Schofield06's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Oh my goodness! I can't believe people do stupid stuff like that. Do you have any records of what your DH actually got paid? I don't know if you could take that in and show whoever does your taxes the discrepancy maybe? I hope you're able to figure that out!
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  #8  
January 31st, 2014, 09:57 AM
geogeek's Avatar Marsi's Mommy
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I don't have anything to offer than a listening ear and an I am so sorry. I hope something works out. His parents are awful!
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  #9  
January 31st, 2014, 10:32 AM
lelila's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Anna, a family friend faced similar financial circumstances and decided to quit her job so she didn't have daycare expenses. They supplemented the income by enlarging the vegetable garden and growing their own food including baby food and she sold the extra vegetables from the garden. She also canned a great deal and they had to reduce their spending budget. Things were very tight for a long time, but they made it work. Is that a possibility?
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  #10  
January 31st, 2014, 04:56 PM
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Thanks everyone. I try to deal with all of this but sometimes I just need to VENT because it makes me so angry. At least this time it didn't cause a fight between DH and I. We've been in counselling because of his parents (for me to deal with my anger about it and for him to try and see the light. He's been treated as a commodity his whole life and these $&@holes have done nothing but take advantage.)

Anyhow, Lelila, to answer your question we are going to an independent tax person this year. This is a big step for DH in standing up to his family. So, his brother's firm did up his T4 (not sure what it is called in the states, but the sheet that has his income, deductions, taxes etc on it). That's where the problem is. He put faulty info on the tax sheet be ause the more DH's parents say they pay him, the better it is for them.

(As a side note, this is the same brother who owns a hundred acres up the road from us. DH does ALL of his field work year after year, never gets paid, and this is how his brother treat him. Nice, huh?)

DH does have a bit of a solution for now-- he has a beef cow ready to go and he's going to have her put in the freezer. He's just going to put it on his parents bill. I know it's wrong to screw them but at this point, we need food. We still have about 25 chickens in the freezer from last year, and our egg layers are doing remarkably well in this weather.

I' did a garden last year just as a practice run so I know this year a bit more what I'm doing and hopefully we do a better job at preserving. I also heard back from my music publisher that a song he and I wrote together is looking like it will get picked up. I have no idea how much money that brings in but here is hoping it will be some.

I think the hardest part of all this is that my DH is so hardworking and he keeps on getting punished for it. It's exhausting to spend all my time on my toes, waiting for what these people will do to us next.

Thanks so much for reading my novel, and for being a great space to get this off my chest.
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  #11  
January 31st, 2014, 06:58 PM
Boos Moo's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Vent away, you deserve a place to do so with all that's going on. I wish your DH could just quit and start his own thing, but I know that's not a possibility. I'm glad you guys have the beef and chicken and the hens are laying (mine all stopped once 'winter' came). Wishing you lots of luck on the garden and I hope the song gets picked up (when it does let us know so we can listen).
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