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Pregnant again and scared


Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss

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  • 1 Post By TrinityDawnMaura

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  #1  
February 6th, 2014, 08:25 AM
TrinityDawnMaura's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 398
Hi ladies, I just joined and wanted to introduce myself.

My name is Trinity and my husband and I have two children. After my last child was born it took 4 years and 2 months to conceive again. We were excited and told everyone right away, but then I miscarried at 6 1/2 weeks. It was devastating and hard to tell everyone, especially the children.

Now a year and a half later I am pregnant again! I am so scared. I keep expecting to feel twinges or cramps, to see blood when I go to the bathroom. I am trying to take it one day at a time and be positive, but my fears are real. I have my first appointment on Tuesday...I am both nervous and excited for it.

For you ladies who have been pregnant and had a baby after a loss, how did you get through the first trimester? Any tips for staying calm? I want to be able to enjoy my pregnancy but am terrified of possibly losing this one, too.
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  #2  
February 6th, 2014, 08:40 AM
melissalaw's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 14,349
Congratulations on your pregnancy. I'm so sorry about your previous loss. It does make pregnancy so hard to enjoy after you've suffered a loss. I managed to get through my first trimester by telling my dr of my fears and thankfully he gave me an ultrasound every 2 weeks so I could have that reassurance that my baby was doing ok in there. If I was you I would definitely convey my fears to my dr and hopefully your dr will help to ease your anxiety. I know for me those extra appointments are the only way I made it through. Plus I would come here when I had fears and just ask for reassurance from others who have been in the same situation as me. So please know that we are here for you anytime you need us to help you get through the anxiety and hopefully you will be able to enjoy your pregnancy some.
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  #3  
February 6th, 2014, 10:23 AM
Ame C's Avatar Every breath is a gift.
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 3,811
I had a hard first trimester. My hormones were all over the place and I was unpleasant to be around. I would go from being happy, to crying, to yelling in the same 5 minutes. Talking to my hubby and the ladies on this board were pretty much my only saving grace. They helped keep me sane. Crying helped me. Sometimes I would take a bath just to be alone and bawl my eyes out... It was therapeutic in a way.

Congratulations on your pregnancy. Wishing you a happy and healthy 9 months.
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  #4  
February 6th, 2014, 10:27 AM
Schofield06's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Missouri
Posts: 2,364
Welcome Trinity! and congrat's!

The ladies here are definitely a lifeline sometimes! I don't think there are any sure ways to make it through, but talking to others who understand about your fears helps a lot. Other than that i just try to stay busy and keep my mind off of everything.
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  #5  
February 6th, 2014, 10:36 AM
momology's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Houston, Texas
Posts: 6,296
Congratulations!! I am at the end of my first trimester (11W3D) and it has been tough. What has really helped me was discussing my fear with my doctor. She was very understanding and we did an U/S at 6, 8, 10, and will again at 12 weeks. That was a huge help for me. I tried to stay hydrated and just be as healthy as I could (which is very hard when you are feeling nauseous). Other than that I just try and keep busy and hope the time passes quickly. I hope you have a happy and healthy 9 months!!
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  #6  
February 6th, 2014, 11:22 AM
geogeek's Avatar Marsi's Mommy
Join Date: May 2009
Location: In yonder mountains
Posts: 9,340
Congratulations on your pregnancy. I am so sorry for your loss. The first trimester sucks. It just does. I leaned on the ladies here a lot in order to get through the hardest moments. I am well into my 3rd trimester now and I still have very fearful days and those are the days that I come here and tell of those fears.
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  #7  
February 6th, 2014, 12:01 PM
Boos Moo's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 4,084
Welcome and congrats. For me to help get through the first 1 1/2 trimesters (until I could feel her everyday) I rented a doppler. Now they don't help to early on, I think I got mine at 12 weeks and returned it around 20 weeks. Because early on it's hard to find the HB. Finding this board was a great relief as well. And the ladies here recommended that when I have hard times to keep myself busy with a hobby (that helped a lot). And I, like Ame, spent many a time in the bathtub at night crying, it relieved my stress build up. I also let my doctor(s) know about how nervous I'd be through the whole pregnancy, since they knew my history they knew about my losses. My whole pregnancy I've been going to the doctor every 2 - 3 weeks, which for me is what I need. I don't have an u/s at every one, but most, and the few I haven't they've checked the HB.
Also making sure DH knew I'd need the extra emotional support, and to come to most every appointment (I think he only missed 1, plus twice when I went to L&D unexpectantly).
For me it took me a long time to build up the courage to tell others outside of DH (who I told right away) and my kids (we told at 12 weeks) that we were expecting (but each couple/person is going to know when it's right for them).
Lots of hugs and sticky dust.
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  #8  
February 6th, 2014, 04:41 PM
TrinityDawnMaura's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 398
Aww thank you ladies for the congrats and thoughtful replies.

I will definitely let my midwives and doctors know how I feel and that extra visits would be reassuring. I think you are right about staying busy...I need to find ways to pass the time and distract myself.

I'm so glad this board is here and we can help support each other during what is a difficult but also a beautiful and special time.
Boos Moo likes this.
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