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Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss

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  • 1 Post By Danielle80

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  #1  
February 7th, 2014, 02:47 AM
Danielle80's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Tomorrow I will be 6 weeks 4 days! That's the day I started bleeding with my last mc. I was so happy to make it passed 5 weeks 4 days last time because that was when I started bleeding with the first mc. I know this time is different. We saw our baby on the us and last time we just saw a sac, but it feels scary just the same. I am worried, and it's stupid.. I know. Did you guys have issues going passed the date that you miscarriage at?
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  #2  
February 7th, 2014, 04:35 AM
Boos Moo's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I don't think it's stupid at all. And yes I had trouble each time one of my loss dates (7 weeks and 20 weeks) came around. It's hard when you pass a milestone date, but if/when you pass it it's like you can breath a little easier (or at least I did). You just have to do your best to take care of yourself everyday and keep on trucking.
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  #3  
February 7th, 2014, 05:50 AM
melissalaw's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Yes I was terrified until I got passed my loss date. It is a bit easier when you get past it but I know for me unfortunately I don't really breathe a huge sigh of relief until I am holding that baby in my arms. This is why I hate how a loss takes away that pregnancy innocence that you have before you have experienced a loss.

So sorry that you are having a hard time but seeing that little baby on the u/s is such a great sign. I think things are going to great for you this time.
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  #4  
February 7th, 2014, 06:58 AM
momology's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I agree I dont think that is stupid at all! My first loss was at 12 weeks and I am 11W4D and I am still so worried. I just cant wait to see the little one past the date of our loss. All you can do is take it one day at a time and try your best not to over think it all (so hard I know. . . ) We will be past our milestone dates soon and I am really hoping it brings some peace of mind
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  #5  
February 7th, 2014, 07:12 AM
Danielle80's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Ok, now this is totally ot here but I have had this bother me for a while. I always type getting passed because I assumed past was the past not getting passed or through but I see I used it and 2 of you have said getting past. I hate sounding like an idiot, so, ladies... Is it getting past something? I always appreciate learning things that I probably already learned but in my old age have forgotten. I have been pretty much a sahm for years and toddlers don't give me the answers I need.
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  #6  
February 7th, 2014, 07:12 AM
Ame C's Avatar Every breath is a gift.
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Definitely not stupid! Once a loss happens to you, I'm not sure you ever really stop worrying. That innocence was robbed from us. Try your best to look at the little things. The small joys and milestones that can help keep your mind in a more positive place.
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  #7  
February 7th, 2014, 07:54 AM
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Not stupid in the least! (Also you're not an idiot with the passed vs past they both have multiple ways of using them and easy to mix them up. In this situation, it's past. There are lots of links on google about when it's past vs passed.)

My latest mc was at 10 weeks, but I found out at the first trimester screening at 13w. After the 12/13w ultrasound in this current pregnancy, I just lost it. Second trimester was new territory, and I had just gone from seeing the RE weekly to seeing my OB monthly. It was a crazy hard transition to live in the unknown (especially since I couldn't feel baby yet, wasn't really showing yet, etc). Learning how to relax into that uncertainty and just accept it was a difficult thing to do.
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  #8  
February 7th, 2014, 08:33 AM
geogeek's Avatar Marsi's Mommy
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I agree with the others. Not stupid. It is SO hard when you get close to and past your loss dates. I hope that the first trimester passes quickly.
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  #9  
February 7th, 2014, 08:46 AM
Schofield06's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Loss dates are SO scary! I was very nervous when I got to both of mine. Not stupid at all. I don't know that it's really any easier with worries after you pass the loss dates, but I worried a lot on those days in particular.
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  #10  
February 7th, 2014, 09:54 AM
melissalaw's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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LOl. Well looks like I used both passed and past in my post. I think it is past though.
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  #11  
February 7th, 2014, 10:06 AM
TrinityDawnMaura's Avatar Veteran
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I feel the same and can't wait to make it past my miscarriage time. You are doing great!
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  #12  
February 7th, 2014, 02:58 PM
Boos Moo's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Well now I'm curious - I could totally be using the wrong words sometimes. But here is what I found at grammar monster:
To pass often means to move past, and this is where confusion can arise. Of note, to pass can also mean to sail past, to fly past, to run past, to hop past, etc. - the method of moving is irrelevant. This is worth bearing in mind, because if you have used a verb indicating motion already, then it will be partnered with past and not passed. Remember, passed is the past tense of the verb to pass. This is a 100% rule.

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  #13  
February 7th, 2014, 09:40 PM
EverydayJoy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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OK I have to laugh about the grammar, because now I've seen the word "past" so much that it looks funny! You know how that happens? Hah. My take on an explanation is "passed" is a verb, something that you are doing..."I passed him going 50 mph".... and "past" I think is a noun or adjective or something. Not a verb, anyway! So, in the sentence, "I will get past this," "get" is the verb, so you wouldn't say "passed" because you'd have two verbs together. Clear as mud, right? Haha it makes sense in my head but not so much in type.

As for the loss date, yes it did help to get past the loss date, but it was sort of a gradual thing, not like I was kicking up my heels the very next day. Sort of like, ok, I passed it, but we're not out of the woods yet, but better and better each day. The best time for me was when I started getting regular kicks around 20 weeks (anterior placenta). Then I had a lot more reassurance. Hang in there!
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  #14  
February 8th, 2014, 04:55 AM
Danielle80's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Thanks ladies! Today is the day and I am freaking out a little because my nausea which has been crazy is not this am. I worry. I know that I can't spend all this time and energy scared but this little life feels so fragile and I feel like I am walking in a mine field. One wrong move and it's over. So sad really, what mc has taken from us.
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  #15  
February 8th, 2014, 06:16 AM
EverydayJoy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Yes, it is very sad. I didn't feel I was able to enjoy my pregnancy much with my rainbow baby---and of all things, one should enjoy that the most, I'd think! It sucks how much a loss takes from you.
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  #16  
February 8th, 2014, 09:21 AM
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I completely understand and don't think it's even a little bit silly or stupid. After going through a loss, and now being pregnant, we go through lots of irrational fears. But this is not one of them! Your fear is very understandable. I cannot wait until we get past the day we lost our angel baby. Somehow, it will begin to feel more real and I will begin to see the happy ending as more and more time goes on after that date. I am so happy for you that you are there!! Stay strong!
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