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Breast Pump and another item lent and not returned.


Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss

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  • 2 Post By geogeek
  • 1 Post By lelila

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  #1  
February 9th, 2014, 05:40 PM
lelila's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2012
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I had an awesome Breastpump for DS - a Medela Advanced Pump in Style. It was great. Once I finished breastfeeding, my brother's wife had a baby and we let her borrow it. You could get a replacement kit for all the membranes, etc. That was 7 years ago.

So I asked her if she still had it and if so, if we could have it back. I told her I would buy a replacement kit for it too so I could use it again. She reluctantly said she would look. She contacted me later and said she had it still and would tell me what the make and model was.

That was 10 days ago and she never told me what the make and model was, not that I need that information because I already know. But what I really want, is my pump. She seems very reluctant to give it back. I know she has been TTC for about 4 years now without success and the fact that we are expecting is a sore point with her. I never talk to her about my pregnancy out of respect for her TTC issues and I have not hounded her about the pump or asked her for any baby item I lent her 7 years ago - she has kept them all in the hopes of using them again.

What do I do? I know she wants to keep it and everything else she has. I know they are struggling with age (she is over 43 and my brother is almost 50) and have medical issues now and I don't know if TTC is on the front burner anymore. How do I gently ask her again for the pump?
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  #2  
February 9th, 2014, 06:05 PM
geogeek's Avatar Marsi's Mommy
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Honestly, if it is 7 years old, I would see if your insurance covers one. I got the same Medela advanced double electric pump for "free" (only paying for insurance of course). The only difference is that it comes in a different carrying case.

If that isn't an option, I wouldn't worry too much about her feelings. It is yours. Tell her that you will be having your baby in just a couple of months and that you need it back. You are not trying to make her relive her TTC and disappointment that she hasn't been able to have another child. You are wanting back what is rightfully yours.
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  #3  
February 9th, 2014, 06:48 PM
Boos Moo's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I second checking with your insurance/doctor about a pump. If that is a no go I'd ask your brother about the pump. Let him know you asked SIL about it, but haven't heard back and you'd like it back so you can get the parts in and have everything ready since realistically you could have the baby in just over a month. Then if you still don't get it back I'd probably assume they've lost it or given it away at this point. I hope you are able to get a new one. I still need to contact my insurance about a pump.
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  #4  
February 9th, 2014, 06:49 PM
Schofield06's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I agree with Rachel here. If you can't get one through insurance then just ask for it back again.

Maybe you can call her and set a time for you to come and pick it up or something in place of asking for it back again. Something like, "hey I have some time on this day and I was wondering if that day would work for you so I could come get the pump?"

I think it's great that you're trying to be sensitive to how she might be feeling, but asking for your things back to use for your baby isn't being mean or insensitive at all.
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  #5  
February 10th, 2014, 05:25 AM
lelila's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Thanks ladies. I looked up the insurance coverage and found the Double Electric Pump Rachel mentioned. I am thinking of going that route - since it has been 7 years. I priced out replacement kits for ours and it will cost about $80. It might be better to go for the new model.

My brother lives 6 hours away. I try to maintain a good relationship with them, but honestly the work is all on my end. We travel to visit them, call them, etc and they don't reciprocate. There is alot of back story/baggage there that would take too long to explain. It may be better to let sleeping dogs lie.
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Leia 41 yrs young

Wife to Big Bull 40
Mommy to Big Brother our first Miracle Feb 24 2006
Mommy to Little Brother, our Rainbow, March 24, 2014

Never Forgetting our Angels 2012, 2013
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  #6  
February 10th, 2014, 06:41 AM
melissalaw's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: Tennessee
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Glad that it looks like your insurance is going to pay for a new one. Hopefully it won't cost much more than the replacement parts would have for your older one.
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  #7  
February 10th, 2014, 07:02 AM
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It sounds like a good plan to just let it go, considering you can get a replacement. Family stuff is so complicated- I think you are wise to avoid whatever conflict you can.
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  #8  
February 10th, 2014, 07:44 AM
Boos Moo's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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So glad about the insurance. Someone gave us a PIS, but we'd have to order replacement parts (not sure all of the part, at least the tubing), so I'm hoping the insurance will cover a new one.
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  #9  
February 10th, 2014, 12:22 PM
Ame C's Avatar Every breath is a gift.
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That's great! My insurance covered one for me too.
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