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Oh so emotional - mommy/wife rant


Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss

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  • 1 Post By EverydayJoy
  • 1 Post By cortln
  • 1 Post By MelChicago
  • 1 Post By kaylakay
  • 1 Post By melissalaw
  • 4 Post By cortln
  • 1 Post By melissalaw
  • 1 Post By MelChicago
  • 1 Post By Boos Moo
  • 1 Post By cortln

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  #1  
May 5th, 2014, 07:00 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Illinois
Posts: 1,865
So this weekend was beautiful, it was warm, sunny and I should have enjoyed it way more than I did but I didn't.

I took Friday off for my 3 year old's field trip, I made the mistake of wearing myself out before the trip by cleaning the house, by the time the field trip was over all I wanted to do was close my eyes. My daughter was a hot mess, exhausted like I was.

Saturday I got up, took her to swim lessons, dropped a bunch of clothes off at goodwill, went to Target, came home, fed Tatum lunch, put her down for a nap, went to the grocery store, came home took a shower, got my daughter ready, went out for hubby's birthday. During the day Saturday my hubs got up, left to get his hair cut, came home and cut the grass, we have a huge yard so it took him a couple hours. All while I take my 3 year old (while I'm almost 8 months pregnant) to run errands with me. Each stop she of course has to potty, even if she doesn't, she says she does. I'll be on the opposite side of the store when she tells me. It's exhausting.

Sunday, all I want to do is plant some flowers and vegetables, hubs goes golfing since he has his yard work done. I get up get my daughter ready, go get flowers, a few pots and garden decor, on my way home (by this time it's lunchtime) feed my daughter lunch, put her down for a nap and realize I forgot potting soil and even if I didn't forget it I couldn't lift the darn bags and drag them around! So hubs is gone all day golfing, doesn't get home until 4:30. I don't get my planting done, all my flowers are just sitting there waiting to be planted.

I just broke down and cried yesterday! I feel so bad, I have very little patience with my daughter but feel like I'm not getting any help from my husband even though he really does help out a lot! He'll help me do some laundry, he let's me sleep in on the weekends and takes care of Tatum in the mornings, feeds her breakfast etc, he helps with the housework but it seems' once I'm up and awake he gets to do what he wants when he wants, even if it's doing something like cut the grass THAT HAS TO BE DONE. If I want to do something that HAS TO BE DONE, and it requires me being alone to do it I have to always tell him way ahead of time so he doesn't plan on doing something. It drives me crazy.

He was barely around Tatum this weekend and he gets home last night and has no patience with her and that ticks me off more than anything! When he came home I was happy that she'd have a break from mean old mom but instead she just got mean old dad.

I'm hoping this all passes once the baby is here and we are back into our normal routine! I feel so horrible right now!

Ok, end of rant, sorry so long, just had to get it out.
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  #2  
May 5th, 2014, 10:24 AM
EverydayJoy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Pacific NW
Posts: 6,669
Please don't feel bad! Pregnancy is hard when you have a little one already. I had a tough time the last trimester with Ethan. I felt like I had nothing leftover for him, and was just so tired all the time. Sounds like you have a busy schedule, too, so you have that much more energy being expended. Just talk to your husband and tell him you can't do it all by yourself, and you need some uninterrupted time to do whatever you want. Every weekend!
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  #3  
May 5th, 2014, 11:29 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Illinois
Posts: 1,865
Everyweekend would be wonderful LOL I do need some me time for sure, even if it's just relaxing at home while he takes care of Tatum for the day. He offered to take her to swim lessons etc this Saturday, I'm going to take him up on it
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  #4  
May 5th, 2014, 02:20 PM
Just keep breathing.
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 2,020
I don't have much advice, just sympathy! You're an amazing mom, and doing a great job. I hope you can get some extra rest and support.
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  #5  
May 5th, 2014, 03:44 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Illinois
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Thx Mel
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  #6  
May 5th, 2014, 11:26 PM
kaylakay's Avatar Love Being A Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Utah
Posts: 1,467
Just sympathy here!!!

My poor 2 year old. She's constantly wanting to play and for me to pick her up etc and I just can't.


We're doing great... We just got to keep going!
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  #7  
May 6th, 2014, 08:54 AM
melissalaw's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 14,349
So sorry. My husband is alot like this. he does alot around the house but only things that he thinks should get done. I desparately want to plant a garden but I just can't manage to get to the store to buy my plants. Anytime I'm not at work I've got all three boys and it's impossible to get to the store with all three of them and pick out plants. I've told my husband several times but he hasn't offered to help. He is always working on our upstairs trying to get Jackson's room done so like your husband I know he is doing things that need to be done but sometimes I just wish he would think of me and what I want and help.

I'm guessing that this year I'm not going to get my garden planted. so I totally understand where you are coming from. men just don't understand sometimes. Although the golfing might have really pissed me off if I was trying to do things that made our house look better. I hope he gets you some soil and you can get your flowers planted.
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  #8  
May 6th, 2014, 09:28 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Illinois
Posts: 1,865
He is getting my soil today and planting my flowers and veggies for me LOL I told him last night that I didn't want to make him feel like he doesn't help me because that is not the case. I would just like it if I didn't have to drag my poor 3 year old with me everywhere I go! I also have come to the conclusion that I need to figure out how to manage my time better on the weekends, it's always go go go on Saturday's and Sunday's. Errands, grocery shopping, whatever pops up, it's so annoying. I am going to start going to one store for everything even if i have to pay a little more (i try sometimes to go to a few different places because i have coupons or whatever), it's worth my sanity, for now anyways lol
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  #9  
May 6th, 2014, 11:06 AM
melissalaw's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 14,349
Courtney that's what I do. I go to one store a buy it all. Sometimes I do pay more but I just don't have time to run to 5 different stores trying to find the best price.
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  #10  
May 6th, 2014, 12:23 PM
Just keep breathing.
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 2,020
I totally support your plan to streamline. I'm super lazy and get groceries delivered, and lately have taken to ordering from Amazon even small things that I *could* pick up at Target (I have Prime and get free shipping). And I don't have any other kids. A few months of some minor extra costs is well worth your time and energy.
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  #11  
May 6th, 2014, 03:40 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Illinois
Posts: 1,865
Thanks for listening everyone lol
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  #12  
May 6th, 2014, 03:42 PM
Boos Moo's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 4,085
I got on here to reply to this earlier and Truely woke up, but I'm back. So...I was going to say I was having the same issue with DH. Guys really need to be told what you want from them most of the time. Their brains are different from ours for sure. DH was doing yard work, deck work, etc, and I was inside doing my work which left me taking care of her when she woke up. In the early weeks when I was really tired I would just hand Truely to DH and go do what I needed to do without letting him know why I was upset with him. Now I just tell him, hey I need an hour to get this stuff done. And today I gave him a few dates to ask off work for so I could do school stuff without having to take Truely with me. I also used to coupon/bargain shop, but right now I just don't have the energy/time. I know I'm paying more than I should, but with everything else going on I know it's worth my sanity for the time being.
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  #13  
May 7th, 2014, 06:59 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Illinois
Posts: 1,865
Your definately right about guys brains vs. our brains! Sometimes I just want to give him a good swift kick in the brain!
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