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Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss

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  • 1 Post By IBelieveInAngels
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  #1  
May 13th, 2014, 12:25 PM
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 111
Hello mamas,


First off--BIGHUGS to all who have endured a loss...and I'm so happy to 'meet' you


Friends and "friends" were so insensitive when I miscarried Christmas Eve, and talking with the IL's---forget about it (my only family is DH and our 2 kiddoes). DH was SUPER supportive (I got lucky in the hubby dept ) and after the m/c, I begged him for help in the weight-loss arena, because I figured if I couldn't have my child, at least I could get me back--and since Jan 10 I've dropped 47 pounds. Not to get too TMI---lost weight, hubby has been delighted with the results = I think I'm pregnant. I will be testing Sunday, right before he leaves the state for a week on a business trip (because he made it clear he would NOT be able to wait till he got back )




My cycles have been super sporadic since the m/c, add to this fertility concerns on his side too (he's on Rx hormone therapy that with his meds, his 'swimmers' are killed off---but when I had EWCM we BD several times that week and he was at the 'low' end of his med cycle and I could feel my ovulation which I haven't felt in a LONG time)--- I *am* having some interesting symptoms: REALLY tired, sore breasts, dizzy upon standing, cramping-unlike-the-norm, NO hema (yet)...




I will be thrilled to be pregnant again; with DH's testosterone regimen, I thought having another would be out of the question, not to mention my goofball menstrual cycles, which I know is normal for after a m/c. I just don't know why I'm so.....NUMB. If the test is negative, NOT to patronize anyone--I'll be alright, disappointed but alright...but if it's positive, I'm scared of being scared for a healthy baby/pregnancy (was that clear as mud...?) As for telling anyone outside of who can immediately see me...already I can say I probably wouldn't tell until we're actually on the way to deliver the baby.


OY---sometimes I just can't stand being in my head...anyone know what I am talking about...? Please...
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  #2  
May 13th, 2014, 12:48 PM
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Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Delaware (the state!)
Posts: 7,213
You are too funny! I think many of us get it. Although I have no self control and start telling people that I am close with very early. But, these are the people that are my rocks, they are there for me and are very supportive.

I can't wait to hear your results! GL!
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  #3  
May 13th, 2014, 12:49 PM
melissalaw's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 14,255
I'm so sorry about your loss. I have given birth to 2 children since my loss so I can completely understand where you are coming from. I hope you do get a BFP when you test and if you do, you just have to take it one day at a time. I know a pregnancy after a loss is very scary and that's what we are here for, to help you deal with the anxiety.

I was very scared during both of my pregnancies but thankfully I had a great dr who help to reassure me that I was having a healthy baby. A great dr is one thing that I feel like you must have after a loss. You need one that will understand your fears and help to ease them.


Please let us know how your test goes. I'm crossing my fingers for a BFP for you.
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  #4  
May 13th, 2014, 03:50 PM
lelila's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I think we all understand. We didn't tell any of our close family about our last pregnancy until 16 weeks and didn't tell our friends until 35 weeks! It's OK to be scared and completely normal. Keep posting and to you!
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  #5  
May 13th, 2014, 05:35 PM
Just keep breathing.
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 1,973
Welcome and big hugs to you! Pregnancy after a loss is a scary thing, and the others are right, it's so important to have a supportive doctor. I didn't tell people for a long, long time. That's totally okay- it's your body, your baby, your business.

Fingers crossed for you!
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  #6  
May 14th, 2014, 09:16 AM
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WOW--thank ALL of you for replying!!!!


I'm envious (but not ******-envious) of those with support networks; I thought I had that until my loss. I mean, I was there for divorces, kid issues, others m/c, IL issues--you name it---listened to SO much and was a rock for others to lean on, and when I needed it...tumbleweeds . Just how life goes sometimes I guess.


I definitely will post when I find out either way---you ladies will know before the rest of my world, that's for dang sure ! I've already burned through 3 tests earlier this week (sheepish grin) that all came back bfn--but the hubster was ready to box my ears--he was like "It's TOO EARLY to test, WOMAN!" LOL. I know he's nervous too, and I don't want to gloss over that. He's one of those men who just adores being a daddy and he took our loss hard too. And my kids took it hard too---MAN are they wanting a lil bro or sis...had to explain that that baby was in angel grandma's (my mother who passed in '92) arms.


OK (BIG BREATH)---gonna face this head-on and just appreciate I'm definitely NOT the only one with these questions and feelings.


Thank you all more than you know...


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  #7  
May 15th, 2014, 10:22 AM
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 111
Ok, well, AF showed today...but I feel much better having had the chance to vent and 'talk' to someone, so thank you all again.


I'm ok...going to concentrate on the positive...methinks I'm going to go out and do something I've not done in 12 years---go buy a bathingsuit


Have a beautiful day ladies
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  #8  
May 15th, 2014, 01:09 PM
melissalaw's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 14,255
So sorry that AF Showed up. Are you going to keep trying? Please keep us updated on how you are doing.
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  #9  
May 15th, 2014, 02:30 PM
Just keep breathing.
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Sending big hugs! I'm sorry AF came, but glad that at least now your waiting is over and you can look forward.
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  #10  
May 15th, 2014, 03:50 PM
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Thank you, beautiful ladies --and yes, knowing is SO much better than wondering!!!


I want everyone to know I *DO* appreciate, value and love the two blessings I already have; I never want anyone to think my desire for a 3rd child overshadows the feelings I have for the two I have in my arms and heart right now . There is a blog out there that my SIL had on her FB page recently (I'm not on her page, but DH showed it to me since we're in the same boat as the author) and it was written by a mom of 2 who m/c her 3rd, and it put her and her DH into wondering if having a 3rd was a good idea or not...? She wrote something that hit home for me: her life is beautifully full with the two kiddoes she has...but in her heart, she did not feel her family was complete yet. Last year when the pregnancy test came back positive, it was a sublime, peaceful, inner-glow of an almost indescribable feeling of "Annnnd....we're done ".


To tell the truth, I'm too scared inside to admit we're "trying" for #3....so I play a mental game of "I'll have BD fun with the hubster---and if by chance we conceive, that's GREAT!" I just still am a little confused---I have had symptoms I've NOT EVER HAD with PMS before...but that's my body getting re-acclimated I guess.


Here's and a again to all.
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  #11  
May 16th, 2014, 07:58 AM
melissalaw's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: Tennessee
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I completely understand about not feeling like your family is complete. I didn't feel that way until I had our 3rd child and now I feel like our family is complete. It doesn't mean that I love my first 2 children any less, I just didn't feel complete until we had our 3rd child.

Good Luck on TTC. And go ahead and admit that you are trying. Makes keeping up with temps and other ovulation signs alot easier.
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