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I'm new and have a ? re: helping older sister cope


Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss

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  #1  
May 4th, 2005, 07:24 PM
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Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 3
Hi Everyone! I am so happy to be pregnant again!!! We lost our Angel on November 11, 2004 at 13 weeks. We had told our daughter Sydney (she's a mature 4 1/2) right away about the pregnancy. Guess we figured nothing would go wrong. We have all grieved, especially Sydney, as this was a sibling she had prayed for. We are pregnant again (YIPEE!) and due January 7th. We plan to wait quite a while longer before telling her this time. When we do, we know she will have questions re: this sibling vrs. Angel. Will this baby come live with us? Why didn't Angel? Etc. So I was wondering..... does anyone know of any really good books for children dealing with miscarriage and pregnancy after miscarriage. We have a strong faith, but religious or not, ANYTHING would help. Thanks so much!!!
Christine

PS Hope can I deal with the FEAR???? I feel like I have a cold hand around my heart and that Angel's death is stealing the joy from this pregnancy. I am afraid to get "too attached" and feel awful about it!

Thanks
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  #2  
May 5th, 2005, 12:24 PM
hmcart's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Burns, TN
Posts: 6,229
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Hello and welcome. All of the fears you have are normal. I went through them too and at 23 weeks I am finally starting to feel good about this pregnancy. I have two daughters and they were 4 and 6 when I had my m/c. When we told them about this pg they did not even bring up the previous one. Four year olds are very smart so I would tell her that she will be a big sister(when you are ready of course.) If she asks questions then be honest. If mine ask about the previous pg then I will tell them that the baby went to heaven because he was too sick to be born. I have always believed that being truthful with children is best. The only thing I would do is make sure and keep it short and simple. If she wants to know more then she will ask. Hope that helps. Good luck!
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  #3  
May 10th, 2005, 06:06 PM
Regular
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 3
Quote:
Originally posted by whipper92@May 4 2005, 09:24 PM
Hi Everyone! I am so happy to be pregnant again!!! We lost our Angel on November 11, 2004 at 13 weeks. We had told our daughter Sydney (she's a mature 4 1/2) right away about the pregnancy. Guess we figured nothing would go wrong.* We have all grieved, especially Sydney, as this was a sibling she had prayed for. We are pregnant again (YIPEE!) and due January 7th. We plan to wait quite a while longer before telling her this time. When we do, we know she will have questions re: this sibling vrs. Angel. Will this baby come live with us? Why didn't Angel? Etc. So I was wondering..... does anyone know of any really good books for children dealing with miscarriage and pregnancy after miscarriage. We have a strong faith, but religious or not, ANYTHING would help. Thanks so much!!!
Christine

PS* Hope can I deal with the FEAR????* I feel like I have a cold hand around my heart and that Angel's death is stealing the joy from this pregnancy.* I am afraid to get "too attached" and feel awful about it!

Thanks
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  #4  
May 10th, 2005, 06:09 PM
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Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 3
Thanks for the support. I am feeling better every day. Am praying for an early ultrasound to see the heartbeat and give some peace. At least we know our little ones are in heaven. Thanks again for the reply.
Christine
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