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Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss

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  #1  
September 18th, 2006, 12:45 PM
Ethans_Mommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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LIBIDO?!?!?!?!?!!?

I lost my sex drive in the beginning of Leah's pregnancy and now she is nearly 6 weeks old and I still have no desire for anything intimate. It is so sad, but I can probably count the number of times Rob and I dtd on 2 hands since finding out we were having a baby- and that was last December. How pathetic! I feel so bad for him because even when we do try to mess around, I feel nothing. Nothing turns me on anymore and I think I might have a huge problem.

Any suggestions on something that might "light my fire?"

I am willing to do anything at this point!
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  #2  
September 18th, 2006, 01:21 PM
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Hi Steph!!! If you find yours maybe mine is hiding with it! I never needed or wanted sex that often to begin with (not what DH likes to hear! LOL) but ever since I found out I was pregnant we really haven't had sex much - in the beginning I was terrified to and now I just dont want it. My DH has pretty much given up trying and I've begun to wonder how it will be after the baby is born. Maybe try to have a nice night out just the two of you if you can and have a little date night and maybe that will get you in the mood. Funny thing is I've noticed lately that if I'm watching a TV show or movie and there is a sex scene I get more in the mood but then I'm like ehhhh the belly seems to get in the way right now! You'll get it back though - I'm sure you just have so much going on right now!
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  #3  
September 18th, 2006, 02:05 PM
iamkc's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I bet it's hiding with my brain.

Have you tried just setting aside some time without the pressure of sex with DH? I kept a pretty healthy drive all during pregnancy, but there were times when I couldn't even imagine it. Really, the thought of all that effort and moving around...blah. So DH and I would just lie there together, talk, touch each other (non-sexually, that was the agreement), and eventually I found that I DID want it...and embarrassingly, even used the phrase at 4 AM, "You can just lie there, I'll do all the work."

It WILL return. In the meantime, enjoy your time with DH and try not to feel guilty or so stressed about not having a raging libido for now.

(((((HUGS))))) and a little dust for you!
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  #4  
September 18th, 2006, 02:38 PM
4iris's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I don't have any helpful suggestions, but if it makes you feel better:

When I was pg with DS, DH only got it twice. After DS was born, I was nursing every 1.5 hours round the clock and too exhausted to even think of DH's "needs". I finally submitted when DS was 6 months old, but only occasionally until DS was weaned and my bbs had been mine again for a while.

Your hormones are still recovering from being pg. Just give it time and take things slow. Worst case, maybe you can find a way to help DH relieve his tension without having to get your more tender parts involved.
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  #5  
September 18th, 2006, 03:07 PM
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I bet it is hiding w/mine too!!! DH doesn't complain too much as he thinks he is going to poke the kid or something. I try to explain to him that he is not THAT well endowed!!! HAHA!!! He doesn't like to hear that though. I will say that he does not treat me the same since sexually since we have found out we were pg. Very frustrating for me!!! I even brought it up to him and he couldn't believe that I had noticed. Well, duh!!! Of course I did.

So, I am not sure what is going to happen once I have the baby. As it is now I am lucky to get some once every two weeks.

So Steph, if you find yours, will you let me/us know where it was hiding so I/we can go find ours???
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  #6  
September 18th, 2006, 03:28 PM
margo1973's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Can't help you. Don't know where mine is either. I am hoping it will reappear after I give birth.
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  #7  
September 18th, 2006, 03:35 PM
soontobemommyto3
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maybe when the kids are grown and out of the house it will come back? i'm in the same boat - I hate to be touched when I'm lactating too!
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  #8  
September 19th, 2006, 10:50 AM
mrs_catty_marie's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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LOL it takes time. Even after dd was born it took until she was about 6 months for mine to return completely. And then theres finding time!
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  #9  
September 19th, 2006, 05:00 PM
Vickey
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mine is MIA too....dh is wondering whats wrong with me, he jokes around saying I was just using him to get pregnant, and now that I am hes no good to me any more haha...I feel guilty sometimes but he understands, so if you find where all ours are hidding let me know so i can go caputre it again.
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  #10  
September 20th, 2006, 04:59 PM
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Mine's rather gone too, although not completely. My problem is that I'm to terrified to dtd in the first trimester. I know it's probably total coincidence, but both of my mcs started fairly soon after sex, and I just don't even want to have another worry. Thankfully DH is being really understanding.
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  #11  
September 20th, 2006, 07:42 PM
Stacy29's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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When you find yours... will you help me find mine too????

Uh... two hands??? I'm embarrased to say what we HAVEN'T done at all since we conceived!!!!! We got paranoid in the first trimester (afraid of another loss) and still haven't (*tucks eyes in hands*)... DH doesn't bug me, so I don't offer. I will admit that he does get some attention in other ways to make up for it... but personally, I don't need a darn thing (well, except all the back rubs he gives me).
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  #12  
September 21st, 2006, 06:29 AM
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Quote:
he jokes around saying I was just using him to get pregnant, and now that I am hes no good to me any more haha[/b]

That is exactly what mine says - he says I'll want sex again when I want another baby! LOL
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  #13  
September 21st, 2006, 07:37 PM
Stacy29's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE
Quote:
he jokes around saying I was just using him to get pregnant, and now that I am hes no good to me any more haha[/b]

That is exactly what mine says - he says I'll want sex again when I want another baby! LOL
[/b][/quote]


That is sooooooo what my DH would say!!!!!!!
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