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  #1  
September 28th, 2006, 08:53 AM
Ethans_Mommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Arizona!
Posts: 2,717
So I was watching Oprah yesterday and she had the wife of Senator John Edwards on the show talking about some trials her family had been through, including her fight with breast cancer and the loss of her 16 year old son who was killed in a car accident 10 years ago. Anyway, she wrote a book receintly and it is all about coping with the loss of a loved one, and it sounds like it can really help someone going through a difficult time.

Anyway, I am posting this because she made reference to a few "friends on-line" that she met through message boards that helped her cope with life during these tragedies. She read an excerpt of a letter she had written to a man who had just lost his mother- her words were so encouraging and so beautiful and Oprah made the comment that she "couldnt believe (she) had written that to a total stranger, someone (she) didnt even know!" And Mrs. Edwards (I forgot her first name! ) replied that even though she had never met these people face to face, she felt like her friends on the internet were her closest friends because of their relationship on the internet- they helped each other through some pretty devastating things and that by sharing her loss story and by giving support to others in pain they had bonded and become so close.

Justmommies was something I found in a desperate attempt to find comfort and receive answers when I had my mc in April of '05. I felt silly when I would make reference to "a lady I met on-line" because my husband and other friends thought I was turning into some internet geek! But after hearing how this lady described her friends, it made me realize how lucky I am to have all of you and to know all of you. I might not know you in person, but I really feel close to some of you and I love the relationships we have formed on this site- you are all so encouraging and I think finding this message board was one of the greatest blessings that came to me in a time of such despair.

Thanks for being so wonderful! You girls are the best!
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  #2  
September 28th, 2006, 11:05 AM
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Location: New Jersey
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I completely agree with you Steph - the funny thing is even though I've never met you face to face you know more about my personal trials then anyone outside of my immediate family. None of my friends (except 1) know about our hardships or that we'd been ttc for so long. Plus, no one else could have gotten me somewhat sanely through this point and been able to not only answer my questions but understand where my fears are coming from. I'm very thankful for this group of ladies!!!
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  #3  
September 28th, 2006, 11:15 AM
soontobemommyto3
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that was very sweet. You are the best. Now we don't really have a forum to go to now that we've had our babies.
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  #4  
September 28th, 2006, 11:37 AM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Littleton, CO
Posts: 43,573
Quote:
Justmommies was something I found in a desperate attempt to find comfort and receive answers[/b]
Me too. I know so many women who get pregnant and get a healthy baby out of it. I'm surrounded by that I really felt so alone before I found this site. DH makes fun of me for all the friends I have online, but this is a community that I have needed to survive.

Thanks for sharing that.
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  #5  
September 28th, 2006, 12:19 PM
LeedaRenee's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2005
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I can really echo this sentiment. I felt like I was going crazy after my miscarriage and that no one knew whatI was going through until I found the loss board. It;s good to have someone around who knows what you're going throughand you cant always find that in real life.
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  #6  
September 28th, 2006, 01:25 PM
Prudence's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 653
After I had my loss, I found this place. And if it wasn't for everyone I met here, I would still be insane and angry.
I don't come on much anymore and post, but I always stop by to see haw everyone is doing and I am so glad when I here all the good news.

I always felt foolish when I was talking about my online support, but it was the best thing for me and I know that the ppl I shared this with knew it was very important to me.
It is really hard relating with the world sometimes, and being here makes it so much easier, surrounded by ppl that understand a bit of what you are feeling.
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  #7  
September 28th, 2006, 07:28 PM
Boxerlove1's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 3,299
I actually joined JM about a month before Sebastian was born... I was in the Jan DDC with Susan.

I must say, the reason I stuck around is because of all the supportive people in the Pregnancy Loss room. Those first few days/weeks/months after his death, I felt like it was the only place I could go where people actually knew what I was going thru. Even my closest friends in 'real life' , although they are beautiful, wonderful people, just didn't have a clue what to do or say, or how to deal with me.

I'm actually kinda surprised that people still talk to me sometimes... my anger and frustration was something I chose not to hide or sugar coat, and I have been guilty of lashing out once or twice. But it just goes to show how wonderful you all are - you continue to accept and befriend unconditionally, in spite of these occasional outbursts..

I feel very fortunate to have gotten to know so many people thru JM. I feel like I have come full circle and have so much to give back to so many. I love all my new friends in the October DDC so much - they have been wonderful. You all have been lifesavers... if ever there was a room where I felt comfortable just unloading my fears, this is the place. And I still check in the Loss room every day, to see how everyone is doing.

Gosh, I'm feeling all emotional now.... people don't understand just how close you can get to 'online friends.' To me, its not even worth mentioning that I met so-and-so online... you all are just as real as any flesh and blood friend who is sitting right next to me.

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  #8  
September 28th, 2006, 08:33 PM
srs srs is offline
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Quote:
people don't understand just how close you can get to 'online friends.' To me, its not even worth mentioning that I met so-and-so online... you all are just as real as any flesh and blood friend who is sitting right next to me.[/b]
All I know is that for anything regarding my losses or current pg, I feel totally abandoned by my "real life friends". They didn't undertand the mcs, and they don't understand now why I still grieve my other babies when I have a new one that's thriving. I've been more in the recurrent loss board than this one, but I can say as well that JM has been a lifesaver. I honestly regard my friends here as just as close as the real life ones, and in some cases, more so.
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  #9  
September 29th, 2006, 07:14 AM
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 18,997
I did not find JM unitll I got pregnant this time
but it took so much pressure and stress off my shoulders to be able to talk and read stories of other ladies dealing with the same things I went through. My family is great but there is only a certain point then after that they can not relate to the pain that I was dealing with.

Thank you for your kindness
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  #10  
September 30th, 2006, 12:35 PM
Stacy29's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: Texas
Posts: 6,192
It's very true!!!! I totally get what you're saying!
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  #11  
September 30th, 2006, 02:01 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Arizona
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Ditto to all posts.
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  #12  
October 1st, 2006, 08:03 AM
Stacy29's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Texas
Posts: 6,192
I just watched the Oprah... (I had it TIVOd)... and OMG... can we say TEAR JERKER!!??? Gese! Very sad!!!!!
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  #13  
October 1st, 2006, 09:32 PM
Ethans_Mommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Arizona!
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Quote:
that was very sweet. You are the best. Now we don't really have a forum to go to now that we've had our babies.[/b]
Susan, I think you are the best! And I also think there needs to be a forum called "moms with babies after having a loss sometime in the past" (long enough title ) That way we have a place to go forever!
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  #14  
October 2nd, 2006, 12:18 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Littleton, CO
Posts: 43,573
There is a "parenting after loss" forum....
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