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I guess as we get closer to my due date (6 more weeks!!!) I'm so torn between excited and really scared. I had my shower last weekend so now is the first time this whole pregnancy that my house is loaded with baby things - I have my stroller, car seat, toys, bibs, clothes and so on and before that I hadn't bought anything out of fear. It's like I feel like I'm jinxing things having all the things in the house. I know it should be happy to see it all here but it just scares me that something could still go wrong and here is my house filled with stuff for him. I just can't wait until he's here and I'm holding him and I know he's alright. I still have lots of stuff to buy like diapers and all that and its just still hard for me to for some reason. Just needed to vent!!
<span style="color:#333399">JACK MATTHEW BORN NOVEMBER 25TH AT 4:39PM WEIGHING 7LBS 11OZ, 20.5 INCHES
Hilary!!! I was thinking about you yesterday and was going to start a post to see how you were doing. I can't believe it only 5 more weeks!!! How exciting!
I completely understand your fears. Just know that very soon, within the next few weeks (because you could go early!) your little man will be here. I too was worried, as you know, I just wanted her out so I could take care of her!
I'll be thinking of you and checking in here to see how things are going and to read your birth story and see pictures.
I understand how you feel and pretty much feel the same way. Excited sometimes and sometimes scared. I have had all my baby stuff for a while but all still in packages in the storage closet. I finally got around to unpacking it and trying to set it all up in the baby's room. For some reason that was really scary but at least it's done.
Um, just so you know, the worry never goes away!!! I was worried my entire pregnancy and I lept telling myself, "As soon as my baby is here, I will be fine! Pregnancy is outta my control, but as soon as they are out, I can protect them!" ...Now I worry every night about SIDS, I worry about her catching the nasty cold and flu my entire family had last week, I worry about being the family that has tragedy strike when their little one is diagnosed with cancer... etc etc etc. (This is fresh on my mind b/c a family down the street just had their 5 year old diagnosed with an in-operable brain tumor- So Sad!)
I still worry about Ethan being healthy, so I dont expect to ever stop worrying about Leah too! Its all a part of being a mommy!
<div align="center">Stephanie aka "Queen of the Universe" Mommy to Ethan and Leah
My mother (who lost her first at 21 weeks, and has also had 7 children and 2 miscarriages) told me that you worry from the moment you find out you're pregnant until you die. She still worries about all of us (5 of us no longer live at home), and now the grandkids are coming (my brother's wife had a daughter from a previous relationship that he adopted. She is my parents' only living grandchild).
I'm sure she will worry as much as I do over this pregnancy (which is part of the reason I've been avoiding telling her).
Good luck honey!
As for the baby stuff, I've got it all already, so I don't have to do that again. But I DID buy myself a baby boy's outfit and a pair of baby girl jelly sandals from the local thrift store ($4 altogether) so make myself at least a *little* excited. It's really hard for me right now.
I waited for the very end to set everything up too. The day of my induction is when I set up the bassinet in my bedroom. I even had people "designated" to take care of all the stuff if I came home empty handed. I wanted her room left alone, but all the stuff everywhere else in my house I wanted removed if I didn't come home with her.
It makes you so tired some times, all the worry and stress. I wish there was a button to shut it off.
I hope you can find some strength to enjoy a little bit of these last few weeks of being pregnant. I actually miss it a little