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I havent posted here in a while so I will re introduce myself. I am pregnant for the 5th time and we have one ds here with us. (2yr old). We lost our 2nd son in march at 23 wks and then our 3rd loss in aug. m/c. So.... With this pregnancy I feel like dh is not excited at all for fear something will happen again. Even when I show him u/s pics he doesnt really have any comments he just looks and then that is it. I know deep down he is excited and we want another baby so badly, but getting attached only to go through a loss is just too hard. So I just hate that we cant even share in this very special time in our lives for fear something will go wrong. That just doesnt seem fair??? Well thanks for letting me get all of that out.
I am not sure what advice to give to you. From my own experience. When I misscarried our two angel babies my hubby tried to bestrong for me and I didnt reaslies that he too was hurting so much to the point that he would go to another room and cry as he didnt want me to see his grief. When we got pregnant with this baby he was excited but didnt show too much emotion and I figured it was his way of dealing with this pregnancy and the possibility of another loss. I know he loves this baby and he is so excited for this baby but I think he is just trying to protect himself in a way in case something was to happen. I hope that makes sense.
DH was very reserved until after the big u/s. Even though we've had u/s from very early on and each time doc said things were good, it still took getting to the halfway point before DH would really relax and talk about the baby. He's not nearly as involved as with DS, but like the other ladies have said, I think that's how he guards his emotions and stays strong for me.
P.S. Congrats on your BFP! I'll be cautiously excited for you.
Do not sorrow; the joy of the Lord is your strength." Neh. 8:10
I know exactly how you feel. My husband and i lost our baby boy at 21 weeks in April. We have just found out that we are pregnant again (6 1/2 weeks) and we are both extremely nervous, more so my husband, cause he doesn't want to see me go through that pain again.
He was also very strong, and didn't want me to see him upset in fear of making me worse. Sometimes i ended up angry at him cause i thought he didn't care. It turns out he did, he was just trying to be strong. I guess that is the thing with husbands, they tread carefully in fear of hurting us, and in fact of being hurt themselves.
My husband is quite excited this time, although it feels he is still trying not to get too attatched. I don't think he will be fully excited until we get to hold this little one in our arms, and take him/her home.
I hear all these people talking about the magical 12 week mark. I used to be one of those people that thought everything was fine if you got past that point, only to be shot down and made realise in the harshest of ways, that there really is no "safe" zone. There are risks the entire way through.
I guess in a way our hubbies are just trying to protect us, and even though it hurts at times cause it feels like they really don't care, deep down they do, probably more then you and i realise!
Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy, i hope it goes well.