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My due date for the baby I lost is today. I'm thankful that I'm pregnant, but at the same time it's hard to mourn a loss without realizing that if I hadn't lost that baby I wouldn't have the one that I'm carrying. I don't even know how to put how I'm feeling into words...I guess I just wanted to say something.
You know, I think that's something that a lot of women who have been through loss have to deal with. Technically for me, I could physically still have been pregnant now if Cora had lived. However, I wouldn't have been TTC at the point I was, I would have been preventing. So I say the same thing. If Cora had lived, I'd have a 7 month old baby girl and I wouldn't be pregnant. I wouldn't have my Jelly.
For you, however, it would have been physically impossible, so that's got to be that much harder to deal with. But it's okay to mourn your loss. I don't think anyone would blame you. You'll never get to see what that baby would have looked like, or go through all the growing and milestones and that hurts. You are allowed to mourn that.
And when the baby you're carrying now is born, you'll appreciate the miracle all the more. But I'm sure at some point, you'll look at that beautiful baby face, and wonder what your life would have been like if you hadn't lost the first one.
I am so sorry. I felt the same way on my angel's EDD.
Recently friends came over to see Ryan and brought their daughter who is the same age as my first baby would be right now. Even though I have Ryan and I wouldn't have him otherwise, seeing this little girl made me feel sad.
I had a really hard time dealing with this myself. Being pregnant has helped but it is still hard knowing where I could be w/ a baby and that I am still here pregnant instead. For me it has gotten easier as I am getting closer to my due date with this baby. I
((((HUGS)))) I am so sorry for the loss you have suffered. I know when it was my due date with my first misscarriage I was heartbroken and at that point I was pregnant with my daughter. I was happy to be pregnant but still mourned my angel baby. This year on the 10th of April was my last angels due date and I didnt know I was pregnant with this one at that time and I was so sad that I didnt have my angel baby with me. ((((HUGS)))