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Hi ladies. My first pregnancy ended in m/c. I immediately (same month) got pg with my baby boy and had a perfectly normal pregnancy and healthy baby. Now I'm pregnant again and I'm still scared. I'm scared of going through another loss. This pregnancy just feels more like the first one than the one I had with my son. I'm not nervous or stressed about it, just feeling detached from this pregnancy. I'm not letting myself get excited yet. We're not planning on telling our families until a few weeks into the 2nd trimester.
Is it normal to be having these feelings--even though I've already had a healthy baby since my m/c?
a huge thank-you to Mom2*Lauryn*Jacob* for my gorgeous siggy!
There are 3 OBs at the clinic I go to. One of them, like me, lost his first full-term, for indiscernible reasons. He told me that he and his wife originally wanted a large family (6 children). However, after their third, she decided that being pregnant was too much stress and they stopped.
He told me that every pregnancy I have will be stressful, even after having a healthy child.
While yours loss was much earlier than mine, I feel that stands true for every woman who experiences a loss during pregnancy. It's sort of a stab at the vital part of your femininity. Part of being a woman is nurturing and protecting those who depend on us for life. When, even though it's NOT any fault of ours, that life ends, it takes something out of us. We lost self confidence, I think. We will always think, "Yes, but what if..."
I'm glad you are having a little peace with this pregnancy. I did early on too, and do now most days, although nearing my third trimester and my loss point is making me more scared.
I think that it is perfectly normal. I found myself doing the same thing - not wanting to get to exciting or attached to the pregnancy for fear that something will happen. It is something that I am struggling with. I am hoping that when we get past 16 weeks it will be better, but I don't know. I have found that this board is very helpful to just be able to talk about how you are feeling.
Like the other ladies said, it's completely normal. Once you've experienced loss, that feeling will stick with you and affect the way you handle future pregnancies. It's part of your natural mental defense "just in case" something happens again. Hoping this pg goes smoothly for you!
Do not sorrow; the joy of the Lord is your strength." Neh. 8:10
I too think it's normal to feel that way. I know I held back, didn't want to get too excited...constantly reminding myself that something could go wrong. Then I would stress that I wasn't excited enough about this pregnancy and maybe that was because it was my intuition telling me that something was wrong with the baby. As you can see, it's a downward spiral of stress. I finally resolved myself to "I'm not going to let stress dictate this pregnancy." I believe stress was partly responsible for my m/c, so I've been doing everything in my power to avoid stress during this pregnancy. I refuse to weigh myself...I got a facial at an expensive spa (something I never do)....and so on. It does get easier and eventually you will start okay about enjoying your pregnancy. Congratulations and here's to a happy and healthy 9 months
Nolan John turns 2 on 8/28/09 Thank you Jessica for the siggy!