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Had you always planned to just have one child?


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  #1  
February 26th, 2010, 12:55 PM
Gaby&Emmy'sMama's Avatar aka NZ-Emma
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Christchurch, NZ
Posts: 56,619
Was your plan always to have one child, or did your plans change after you had your first (or while you were pregnant)?
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  #2  
February 27th, 2010, 10:15 AM
chapsgirl07's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Southwest Florida
Posts: 1,785
Let me preface this with the fact that hormones are CRAZY...lol!

When I met DH, I told him he needed to be ok with not having children. We left the conversation as 'open for discussion' at a later date. Well, 6 months after we got married, we were on vacation and I started crying. Told him I wanted to have a baby. So that summer, we tried, had a miscarriage, and tried again. One horrible (though not as bad as some) pregnancy later, we have our beautiful son. I hated every second of being pregnant from horrible morning sickness, feeling him move, to hiccups, to weight gain, mood swings..etc. (That was the original reason I didn't want to have kids...I just didn't want to be pregnant.)

I knew I would love being a mom, and I do! I just really don't want to be pregnant. Immediately following my delivery, I though to myself, "Hey, I can do this again." Once the hormones wore off and I got back to my normal self, that quickly went away.

I love my life. I love to travel. I love the relationship that I have with my husband and with my son. I don't want to have to divide my attention any further. I feel complete. I want to get my body back into shape and keep it there. But, like last time, DH and I have left this topic "open for discussion' at a later date. Unless a crazy dose of hormones hits again, this baby factory is closed with one very special limited edition.
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  #3  
February 28th, 2010, 05:11 AM
MidgeMadge's Avatar Queen Turd. Bow down.
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Albany-ISH, New York
Posts: 33,889
^ we stopped at one for many of the same reasons.
You cannot PAY me a MILLION dollars to EVER be pregnant again. I was NOT a glowy "ohhh.. I looooove this, this is so special" type of pregnancy woman. I was a "oh crap! this sucks!" type of pregnancy woman I had a horrible pregnancy, high-risk, I was on bedrest for 5 weeks, gave birth 5 weeks early..

And while I love my daughter more than life itself, and found 'special' with each stage she was in.. I was NOT made for the newborn/infant stuff. I never want to re-live those first times- the lack of sleep, especially.

I also love to travel (see JM name, lol) and we can better do that as a family of 3. We can show her more of the country & world because we can better afford to do so.
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  #4  
March 2nd, 2010, 08:15 AM
chloe2005's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: CT
Posts: 823
We always thought we'd have 2, but we are just not newborn/infant people...my husband especially. We love love love our daughter to death, but the thought of having to go through any of the early stuff again makes my cringe! Plus, like Erika said, we'd like to travel with her, and give her a great life. Finances are already tight as it is (especially now that I'm unemployed), so we could not afford another anyway.
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  #5  
March 15th, 2010, 04:50 AM
youngwoman's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Georgia
Posts: 11,950
to a lot of the above!

We always thought we'd have 2 children and even for a short time after Leah was born, we were still open to having a second in a few years. But man oh man, those newborn days were ROUGH! That whole first year was hard, honestly. As Leah grows and develops her personality, I love each new stage more than the previous one. (Especially now that she's talking so much! I don't like that infants can't communicate! ) Neither DH nor myself have any desire to start all over again and revisit the newborn/infant days.

And then, financially, we feel better suited for one child. We feel like we could give Leah more of what she needs and desires, and like the other ladies, it would make planning trips and vacations that much easier.
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  #6  
March 28th, 2010, 03:17 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: australia
Posts: 941
i hadnt always planned on more than one child. i am in my mid twenties so i am at peak fertility however being a single parent, finding a new partner, taking time to settle in life with new partner and also making sure my son was still my top priority, its just not gonna happen. i also enjoy being at work and there would be no way in the world i could afford for 2 children to go to childcare while i worked and i would be run down big time. i just cant go back to baby stage and if i do, i am seriously crazy. i love babies, i love children but motherhood for myself isnt exactly a walk in the park.
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  #7  
October 20th, 2011, 09:19 PM
MammaHutch
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Posts: n/a
I always wanted 4 kids, but that was before DH and I got together, and he always wanted none, then only a son. So when we got together we decided to not have any, well we are preggers now. But, we talked for a little while and decided that we only wanted one child and we really hoped for a boy, and we got pregnant with a boy, so even though he is not here yet we feel complete.
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  #8  
November 17th, 2011, 01:43 PM
Seanaci's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: Denver, CO
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I had planned on 2-4 kids. Before I got pregnant with DS. I wasn't (or at least didn't feel like) the glowy preggo woman. I just felt...blah. I never really had a tummy (at least I didn't think I did)...and labor and the following c-section were pretty scary. When DS was a baby, DH and I had planned on trying for another baby this year or next...but that changed when I started keeping my neighbors baby 2 years ago. I realized that I didn't want to go through the infant/baby stage again. That I was really enjoying watching my son grow and learn and turn into this little person. So, we decided earlier this year we were done. 1 was enough for us.
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  #9  
December 7th, 2011, 12:42 PM
Jule'sMomInOR's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 4,862
I had planned on 2 kids. However, I've been exhausted and overwhelmed for over 16 months. I can't imagine being a SAHM and I can't imagine working full time and taking care of two kids when I can hardly manage the one I have now. My DH seems to think childcare is women's work despite the fact that I work full time. I think having another baby would be a disaster for our marriage. I also like to travel and find it very difficult with one. Finally, I don't want to neglect my DD because I have a newborn to take care of. There are just so many reasons to be done.
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