[BigGrin]

I swear I was able to get so much more done around the house when I was working 12 hour days. Now that I stay home with the Kid I don't get a fraction as much done as before. It seems she is always wanting to be in my arms or at least in some form of contact with me. By the time the evening rolls around I.Am.Done.

So many times my DH gets home after working 10-12 hours and dinner isn't cooked. Overall he is fairly understanding but I feel like a bit of a failure. So to other SAHMs, how do you manage to have dinner on the table every night? I will admit that cooking is my biggest weakness, I can basically keep us alive but I am far from a chef.

[smika]

I haven't cooked consistently since I was pregnant! I'm right there along with you, first babies are hard, IMO, we are learning as we go, Its OK if dinner isn't cooked, You should NOT feel like a failure. Your most important job right now is making sure The Kid is happy & healthy. That is what my DH told me a few weeks ago when I was feeling the same way. He has a very demanding job, as does your husband, so all we can hope for is understanding, and soon, we will be able to juggle it all.

[Adrienne214]

Wait until number 2 comes along, lol. In order to make dinner I have to make sure Lilah is happy and put on Dora for Adelyn. That means I have about 20 minutes to make an entire meal plus food for the baby. I just try and make sure that DH has clean underwear and work clothes and food to eat lol.

DH said something funny one time. He said "I don't care if the house is a mess and we eat frozen pizza every night as long as we DTD each night and I have clean boxers and food to eat" LOL!

[LindseyF]

Mother and failure are complete opposites, sista! Instead of concentrating on what you can't do, let's look at possible solutions! Think proactively!

When my Mom's in town, I buy tons of chicken, beans, veggies, etc, and then make freezeable meals (can be done to some extent during your LO's naptimes, too). Then on most days, I'll just take something outta the freezer and put in it the fridge to thaw out, then later on the stove or oven to warm up. There are tons of things you can make ahead -- soups, marinated meats, stir fry, casseroles, etc. Most don't require chef-like talent, either

When that's not an option, I opt for super simple meals. Grilled meat and veggies are my go-to meals!! All while Zayd happily plays with the tupperware and wooden spoons!

Lastly, take advantage of your local masjid's iftars!! That's where I ship my husband off to nearly every day

[BigGrin]

Soooo embarrassed to admit this but...we aren't members of a masjid. My DH's work hours don't allow him to go to jummah so he prays at work with other Muslims on Friday in their own little jummah.

Lindsey,
It's funny you mention after because that's exactly why I brought this up. I feel like I should have a full meal to break his fast but I am so worn out by day's end. I am pretty much on my own so I guess I need to arrange a time to make some frozen meals, maybe at night while the Kid is sleeping.

[BabyLover]

The later DH gets home from work, the less likely he is to have a hot meal. I run out of motivation. Poor guy!

[LoLo'sMama]

Wow, I am sort of in the same funk. My days just fly fly fly right on by. The baby needs so much attention and I can't stand the sound of her whining, so I've created a monster by holding her or being by her side almost all day. I find I don't get a lot done most days! But, I know that I am more effective in the morning so I make a list of the things I want to get done, and try really hard in the morning to complete that list. The rest of the day is always unpredictable so it works for me. Food is never an issue with us b/c I love to eat so food is always on the brain!!! I plop the baby in her bumbo and give her all the wooden spoons and utensils. She is usually happy for about 30 minutes while I cook something.

Try making a weekly plan for cooking...maybe it will seem less daunting when you know exactly what you are going to make each day?

[BigGrin]

Well I took the easy way out tonight, I had a lot of leftover spaghetti sauce so I just boiled some pasta and we're having spaghetti and sauce.

[Sweetpea24]

I feel the same way, my b/f is lucky if he gets 3 meals out of the week. im not much of a cook, and with the kids im just pooped. if you don't wanna cook a meal just get the per cooked meals all you got to do is warm them up and there done.

[KDD]

My DH mostly does the cooking. I once told him to consider my day a success if I unloaded the dishwasher! Now that Nathan is getting older I can do a bit more during the day, but with his micro-naps I'd rather use those precious moments for me (getting dressed, enjoying the silence, etc) than to cook.

[LindseyF]

No need to be embarassed. We do what we can with what we've got :-) Meal plans DEFINITELY help. Pick a day of the weak, compile that week's meal plan, stock up on any ingredients you'll need, & do any prep work u can beforehand, while she's sleeping (chopping, etc). Prepping & storing things really does help A LOT, so see what u can accomplish on that area too :-D

[mom2myJo's]

I ditto Lindsey- also I would find some really good crock pot recipes. Prep after the Kid goes to bed, in the morning, put food in the crock pot and turn it on, stir occasionally and it will be ready when you need it. I am a horrible cook but my DH loves my crock pot meals and I always have leftovers to freeze.

Don't feel guilty. Being a SAHM is the hardest job for a reason. You are not a failure at all! Hang in there. We only get better at this with practice.

[razzledobe]

I dont know how you SAHM's do it honestly. My DH had drill weekend and it was just me and Gabe and HOLY COW the day flies by and i'm pooped! LOL ...

What helps us figure things out mealwise is we take 10 minutes on Sunday (pick whatever day) and brainstorm 5-6 meals that you guys would like to eat. Then we match them up with what days my DH is on his own (since I'm riding after work) and those days I dont ride and I can take on meal time.

You can do the same thing with days your DH is working super later for an easier meal and opt for ones that are slightly more complex if/when he's home to watch the Kid while you cook.

This has literally saved our ***** as we both work full time and dont want to be going out to eat or ordering in so making food is a must.

Once you know what you'll be faced with making for the week- it makes grocery shopping a lot easier.

Hmmm what else - oh! make LARGE portions and freeze what you can because then you can simply pull stuff outta the freezer. A good example is what you had tonight... you can make a big batch of meat sauce and freeze that... even rice dishes freeze very well... having the ingredients on hand i've found is KEY. Because when the Kid does surprise you with an awesome nap... you can get busy in the kitchen and get ahead.

Hope that helps

[shannon789]

I usually go to the gym, with Griff, when DH get's home. Then, around 6 or 630 when I get home, I start making dinner and the hubs takes over Griff duties. We don't really eat until around 730 or 8. If we didn't have this arrangement, dinner would not get made, lol.

[martilynne]

This whole teething thing is killing me right now. I can't get anything done, he wants me right there constantly. DH and I usually eat later in the evening once Jax is down for the night. I can't remember the last time I had dinner ready for DH when he got home

[BigGrin]

Is it bad reading that every one else is having the same problems makes me feel so much better?

[austinmommy3]

Christian being my third, I have my routine down finally. I have dinner ready every day by 6 ish, if Chris works late, he knows how to warm up food when he gets home. When my oldest was a baby I rarely had dinner ready much less anything else done. Then he got older and it was easier, years down the road, older kid + newborn necessitates a routine. So we got into a groove and have been on it ever since, so with Christian we just sort of added him into the routine, lol. My day starts at 5 am, up with little man, bottle and he goes back to bed. I stay up and start to thaw whatever I am cooking, get all chopping, etc.. done. It helps me to have an assigned day for household chores. I tend to get more done if the list is small and I don't feel overwhelmed. You are NOT a failure, the most important job we all have is being mommy, and that trumps everything else!

[razzledobe]

^^^ great advice!

[SavaAngel]

Dinner is supposed to be on the table? EVERY NIGHT? No way!

Honestly I am lucky if I am still cooking dinner when Tony gets home. I hope things get better for us once AJ is in school a bit and Katie starts napping better again.