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Would anything have helped?


Cesarean Section Grief

A board for members whose cesarean section experience was not a positive one.

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  #1  
April 22nd, 2010, 07:17 AM
TheOtherMichelle's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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What was it about the c/s that made it so difficult? Is there anything that would have helped the c-section be a better experience?
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  #2  
April 22nd, 2010, 10:55 AM
3Sapphires's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I think I needed processing time. The only time I had to think about out was on the 30 second trip down the hall to the OR.
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  #3  
April 22nd, 2010, 11:05 AM
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I think what was so hard about my c-section is that it happened so fast. I was not prepared for a c-section, I was determined to have my baby vaginally like I did with my first daughter. I also didnt like that I was awake during the whole thing. The spinal block they did on my numbed my hands, tongue and throat. It scared me to death I was afraid It would numb my lungs and I wouldnt be able to breath. The soreness afterward was hard to but that is something I was prepared for after learning I was going to have to have a c-section. and knowing that if I have another baby that I will have to have another c-section bothers me but at least I will be prepared for it if I do get pregnant again.
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  #4  
April 22nd, 2010, 11:42 PM
doremi's Avatar Team Blue Mama of Two
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My doctor was FANTASTIC... once she made the decision that a c-section was "probably" going to be needed, she asked me if I wanted to try to push a little longer, or wanted to go ahead and go to the OR then and there. I told her I wanted to try pushing a bit longer, and she said, "Okay, I'll be back in an hour. But I'm going to tell you now, if there has been no progress by the time I come back, we are heading to the OR, and it won't be up for discussion." THAT was the biggest gift she could have given me, because by the time she came back, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I could not birth this baby on my own. The nurses started buzzing around when she returned and were already getting ready to cath me, and she stood up and said, "Would you all just CLEAR OUT for a minute, I need a moment with my patient." Then she sat down next to me and said, "Okay, what is it about this that scares you the most? What questions do you have for me?" We talked for a good 20 minutes before heading to the OR. The ONE thing that I think would have made my c-section much better is if I hadn't been laboring through the night beforehand. I went into it so exhausted, that I think that made my recovery all that much tougher. I was induced, and they didn't start induction until 4:30pm on 9/2/08, even though I checked into the hospital around 11:30. Josiah was born at 5:34am on 9/3/08.
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  #5  
April 24th, 2010, 09:09 AM
WhoaMomma!'s Avatar Danielle
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Location: Northern Virginia
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So many things would have made mine better.

For starters I wish I was more alert. I had been in labor for 35 hours by the time I got in the OR (17 of which was HARD labor), so I was just physically spent. I had trouble holding my eyes open or speaking. I couldn't move my arms on my own to touch my baby when she was brought to me.

I wish I had more time to come to grips with it. My c/s was an ER so I had the time they were prepping me to cry harder than I think I've ever cried in my life, but no time to feel OK with it. When they wheeled me into the OR I was shaking so hard they thought I might have to be put under completely. All the shaking was from terror. And I cried through the whole procedure too. It was awful.

I wish I could have spent bonding time with my dd immediately. She was born at 4:23am and I didn't get to see her until the sun was coming up around 6:30ish.

My #1 complaint though was the duramorph. They injected duramorph into my epidural before removing it for pain relief. It was supposed to make me comfortable for the first day post-op. But I - like many other people apparently - was allergic to it. So I spent the first 6 hours post-op drugged with morphine, nubain, benadryl, and sedatives. When I was awake my skin itched so badly that I was screaming and scratching my face and arms and anything I could reach until it bled. It was at least 12 hours post-op until I remember holding my dd. I know I held her in the interim. I even nursed her. But I don't remember any of it until that night.

So if I have to go through this again, I hope it will be not after I've been in labor for a long time. I want to be alert enough to move my own arms and keep my eyes open and have some clue what's going on around me and be able to do more than just sob. I do NOT want to be separated from my baby for an extended period of time, and I will stab anyone who tries to give me Duramorph.
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  #6  
September 18th, 2010, 03:07 PM
missmich
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Mine was an emergency and I was really hoping for a natural birth or at least not a section,so I didn't learn about sections at all. I wish I'd have prepared myself more for what exactly happens when you get one. My doula did tell me briefly,but I wish I'd have done my own research as well. My back up doula was with me at the time the choice needed to be made and I was ready for it to just be over by then but was to terrified to have the section,even though I'd been told my son was in distress. She asked me why I was so scared and we talked a little about the fears and she said it would all be fine and that soon,very soon I'd be with my son.

The biggest thing I have to be angry about? Well some stupid,stupid woman who was my neighbor and friend for a svery short time told me that I'd never recover from a section on my own and that they put a board on your stomach after so that you can't move at all for weeks after. I have no idea where she got this bull crap idea but she had NO business telling me this at all during my pregnancy. You know what her training is in? Oh yeah,she was working as a nurse in another province! I hope she has trouble getting certified here. She has NO business being a nurse and telling people scary garbage like that.

For the record,I'm fantastic!
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  #7  
September 26th, 2010, 08:15 PM
i:heart:you's Avatar Super Moderator
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Like others, If I have been more prepared for a c-section, I may have accepted it better. I thought I was going to birth him vaginally like I did my first. Well I was induced, as i was my first. Things progressed quickly, and I was almost dilated after 10.5 hrs. My dr comes in and asked "how long did it take to push out your first?" My reply 3 hrs. My mom said she immediately told the nurse, to make sure she had an or ready. Then told me oh....it will not take that long this time! Well after only 1/2 of pushing, she said the baby's heart beat was dropping and I needed an emergency section. During the whole half hr, she was telling me when to push since I had an epi. But the epi was wearing off, I felt the contractions but no urge to push. I don't think I was totally ready yet. so, anyway she said I was going to be put under, and I refused. I told her to I wanted a spinal, and after debating, she agreed as long as the got the heart beat under control. So they wheeled me to the or, it was terrifying. As they were prepping my and getting the spinal ready to kick in, I felt the overwhelming urge to push, it was so painful not being able to and next thing I know I was being strapped down, and the pain started to slowly go away. I didn't even realize they started, I didn't feel pressure or anything. The next thing you know, I am vomiting uncontrollably, and I was way too loopy. The things I would change, number 1 is my dr, I will not go to her again. I regret not being able to hold my son right away, and had to wait until after midnight to hold him. The recovery wasn't so bad, and I am totally over being upset with myself for not making progress while pushing. I cried for like a week after about it, but hormones could have been a factor. I would get a c-section again, but I am prepared and wouldn't be in active labor when it happens so I am sure it would be a better experience.
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  #8  
December 20th, 2010, 01:32 PM
Purrrrrrr's Avatar Semi-crunchy Mommy
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I'm really glad I read this thread. This is my first and I want to prepare myself as much as possible for anything that may come up and I'm glad most of y'all said that being prepared would have helped. If it comes to a c-section, I don't want to come out feeling robbed.
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  #9  
December 21st, 2010, 01:23 PM
Mama Chemist 73's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I ditto the being prepared. This was my 6th pregnancy, 3rd child and first c-sect. My water broke unexpectedly at 37wk3d and had lots of blood mixed in. I knew that was not a good sign. I started having a slight placental abruption with DS and was having an active one with this one, therefore the blood. I got to L&D at 8:45 am and Sarah was delivered by c-sect at 9:41 am. She was perfect except for swallowing some blood. I on the other hand was a mess. I was so upset that I didn't remember her being born. The epidural wasn't working right and they gave me ketamine so I was completely out of it for a few hrs afterwards. I didn't get to hold her until about 6pm that evening. I thought I had failed as a mother and couldn't get the fact out of my head that I didn't remember her birth. The next day I was in so much pain I couldn't even move. Also, I had lost so much blood I needed a transfusion. After the transfusion I felt better. 6 months later and I'm mostly fine with my c-sect. I'm glad my little girl and me are both here. I just wish I had been able to prepare emotionally.
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  #10  
January 8th, 2011, 11:12 PM
Just_Marie's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I hadn't slept more than 3 hours the two weeks before edd, I went into labor on my edd, I wasn't mentally prepared, and my epidural ran out just as they cut skin, and my anes was verbally abusive. Doesn't help that I work there and he's never apologized. Babe went to NICU for four days as I had gdm, I don't recall anything after his birth for 24 hours as I was gorked out on versed and morphine. He left NICU as I was d/c on day 4, so I had no BF teaching, and had to figure out newborn care on my own with an inexperienced husband. I had third spacing swelling for 21 days after my c/s as they overloaded me with fluid. I seriously couldn't bend my ankles for three weeks, and we live in a two storey.

The whole thing makes me panic for any type of surgery now, I suspect I'll need to be sedated with a spinal for my August c/s. I still wake up feeling the pain of them sewing my uterus shut. PTSD anyone?
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  #11  
February 17th, 2011, 03:47 PM
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everything about it was hard for me.
The suprise of having a preemie baby at 24 weeks, than being told that if she came i'd be having a classical incision and would not be able to do VBAC afterwards. The healing pain sucked, the infection I got after that put me back in hospital for 4 more days sucked. I was not prepared at all. If it had been a normal c-sec it wouldn't have been so bad. But they had to do it to get her out safely.
I don't think I could have changed anything as it was such a shocker and I didn't even have time to research it. i wasn't even 6 months pregnant
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  #12  
March 7th, 2011, 01:02 PM
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Being prepared for a c-section can make a huge difference in your birthing experience. Not only for the c-section surgery itself but for the recovery.

The problem is that most moms aren't prepared because they don't expect to have a c-section, so it's sort of like putting the cart before the horse.

But with over 30% of births ending up as a c-section I try to encourage moms to at least give a few minutes to why a c-section might occur and what you could do to prepare, just in case.

That's not something a new mom wants to think about but it can make such a huge difference in the experience should a c-section be needed.

I had the shocker of my life with a c-section and I know now I could have made it better but of course it was too late.

For that very reason I'm a big advocate moms taking just a few minutes to find out what a c-section is all about and being ready for the possibility :-)
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  #13  
March 30th, 2011, 06:37 AM
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Thursday will be 2 weeks since I had my c-section and I am still having a very hard time dealing with it. I had my last ob visit 2 Tuesdays ago. I was 4 and a half cm dilated and my ob said he'd break my water if I didn't go into labor before then. On Thursday, I was having a very heavy discharge, so I called my ob, who said I should go to labor and delivery immediately. He met me there, said my water was still intact, I wasn't really in labor, but I was 5 and a half cms now, and he was not comfortable sending me home, so he was going to break my water that day.

Half an hour later after I had been admitted, my ob came to break my water. As he was doing it, he discovered that the baby had flipped, and was now breach, after being heads down since week 30. So he told me I would have to have a c-section. I was disappointed, but realized it was best. I had wanted to have natural labor, but again, I didn't want to endanger the baby, so I didn't let it bother me.

About an hour later, I got to the er, and they started to do my spinal. I kept telling the anesthesiologist I could feel my right leg. She assured me that was normal, and it would change shortly. They checked my for pain, and I didn't feel anything, but I kept telling the anesthesiologist i didn't think something was right. So, my ob started to cut me open, and I started to scream, by the time the incision got to the right side of my body, I could feel it. For what felt like 5 minutes, my ob and anesthesiologist argued about continuing the surgery. The anesthesiologist kept saying it was going to work. Then the rushed my husband out of the or,and before I knew it, I was under general anesthesia. I didn't get to see the baby born and I didn't see her for hours after her birth.

It didn't hit me what all I missed out on, until I saw pictures of the baby from before I got to see her. They said she was awake until I held her, and then she fell asleep as soon as she was in my arms, like she was waiting for me.

It also doesn't help that my mother in law left the hospital before I came out of recovery.
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  #14  
May 7th, 2011, 10:01 PM
~*3 little bears*~'s Avatar Jack~Mack~Brooke~Baby
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For me the only thing that would have made it better is if it was a truly needed emergency section.which I know sounds bizarre because that means something would have been wrong or we would have been in danger but that is what would have made the sections acceptable to me. Neither of mine have been emergency and that in and of itself is what bothers me more than anything. And honestly what can really prepare you for a section? I was educated about it and it was still awful. Another thing that would have made the section itself less crappy would have been to not be tied down and getting to hold my babies after birth and with my first if I hadn't been laboring on pitocin for 48 hours with no sleep and no pain meds before the section
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  #15  
May 9th, 2011, 10:10 AM
WhoaMomma!'s Avatar Danielle
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ~*mama2jack&mack*~ View Post
For me the only thing that would have made it better is if it was a truly needed emergency section.which I know sounds bizarre because that means something would have been wrong or we would have been in danger but that is what would have made the sections acceptable to me. Neither of mine have been emergency and that in and of itself is what bothers me more than anything. And honestly what can really prepare you for a section? I was educated about it and it was still awful. Another thing that would have made the section itself less crappy would have been to not be tied down and getting to hold my babies after birth and with my first if I hadn't been laboring on pitocin for 48 hours with no sleep and no pain meds before the section
No that makes perfect sense to me. Mine was an ER, but it happened as a result of an induction that was definitely NOT needed. If there was one thing in my entire life that I could change it would be to go back in time and tell them to shove that induction up their butts.

They tied you down?! That's barbaric!
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  #16  
May 10th, 2011, 02:58 PM
~*3 little bears*~'s Avatar Jack~Mack~Brooke~Baby
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I'm glad that it made sense, after i posted it I was hoping that it wouldn't come off wrong, like I was implying that its better to have an emergency, life threatening situation than to have a c/s or something. But yes, thats exactly it, I would tell my doc to kiss my large pregnant butt and to go ahead an go on her vacation and not worry about be around for my delivery because i would be switching docs immediately. Hindsight is 20/20, ya know?

And yes, I thought that they strapped everyone's arms down during c/s? They said something about reducing movement during the surgery? I remember my nose was itchy and the anestetheologist had to scratch it for me
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  #17  
May 24th, 2011, 09:26 PM
Sk8ermaiden's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Being in a better hospital would have fixed EVERYTHING. At least for the things I care about, hospital policy is everything.

I was so glad I always knew c/s was always a possibility. I think people who think they'll never have a c/s and that they're unnecessary and evil have much, much harder times coming to terms if they have one.
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  #18  
February 3rd, 2012, 05:43 PM
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I wish I would have done some research on c-sections and talked to some women who had a c-section.I wasn't expecting the or to be freezing and so bright.I wasn't prepared for all of the people in the OR.I wasn't prepared for my arms to be strapped down and the feeling that I was going to throw up when they were messing around with my uterus.And I SURE wasn't prepared for all of the pain(both physically and emotionally) afterwards....
And then the drugs and being out of it and being so doped up for 24 hours ...
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  #19  
February 20th, 2012, 06:28 AM
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It would have helped if I could have kept my baby with me! I went to ICU a few hours after the surgery and she sat alone in the nursery for like a day and a half. It makes me upset thinking about it.We bonded just fine after that but it makes me sad her just sitting there without mommy or daddy to comfort her. They wouldn't let my husband take her out of the nursery either.
At the time I was afraid I might die and not see any of my children again because no kids/babies were allowed in ICU.
The pain and uncertainty of what was going on was no picnic either but would have been more bearable if I could have my family with me, or at least be able to visit during visiting hours.
What was happening was I was bleeding and had to have transfusions, but at the time they weren't sure what was going on or why, which was scary. I just didn't like being there alone.
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  #20  
March 6th, 2012, 03:57 PM
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yes and i was afraid to go to sleep in recovery.i was scared i wouldnt wake up....
i had my first vaginally and even though my doctor said i may have to have a c-section i didn't really think i would....
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