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Cesarean Section Grief

A board for members whose cesarean section experience was not a positive one.

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  #1  
February 7th, 2011, 09:50 AM
blessdmommy's Avatar Happy mama to 3!
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Southwest MI
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How does your cesarean(s) make you feel?

I get sick to my stomach just thinking about the operating room! I can't wait till we get better insurance coverage so I can start counseling. I really don't think what I'm feeling (panic attacks, vivid bad dreams ect) is good.

I really hope that I'm able to have a HB2C next time!
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  #2  
February 16th, 2011, 04:48 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 4,028
I was pretty upset for a long while, but recently I have managed to put things into perspective (at least for me). Yes, I had a horrible experience, I stopped breathing due to the botched epi and I still have pains but I have this gorgeous little girl who was able to come home with me from the hospital and she has been blissfully healthy and happy since day one. A friend of DH's makes a 50+ mile round trip drive on a daily basis to see his wife and DS at the NICU. His son is two weeks old and hopefully the family will be able to all come home soon, but I am blessed because no matter how rough things are/were for me, I have never had to sit by Katie's bed at a hospital and wonder when/if I will be able to bring her home.
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  #3  
March 5th, 2011, 07:22 PM
flitabout's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Pipestone, Minnesota
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I am right there with you. My last one I had a panic attack in the OR. I am still trying to process how I feel after fighting so hard for a hba3c, and thanks to legal stuff my peri put in my file my m/w had to risk me out of her care.
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  #4  
April 13th, 2011, 03:38 PM
MauMama's Avatar formerly La_Sirena
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Aotearoa
Posts: 317
I developed quite bad anxiety after my c-section. I hurt all the time and the surface opening re-opened and I had to have it repaired. I ached at my incision for quite some time after it 'healed'.

I guess almost 6 years down the line it doesn't 'bother' me quite so much anymore. I don't get the horrible flash backs and I don't feel so out of control but it took a lot of grieving to get there. For me, I did feel assaulted and I did feel pressured.

My daughter being ill has been the hardest though, and I think it sometimes puts it into perspective for me. We all suffer to an extent and we will all face tragedy to an extent. It's the courage to get through it that counts.
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  #5  
April 30th, 2011, 07:56 AM
WhoaMomma!'s Avatar Danielle
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Northern Virginia
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I feel nothing good that's for sure. I strongly recommend the counseling - it did wonders for me. I had gone months without any nightmares or anything. I have had one flashback since then. In February I had my IUD taken out and during my first pp AF the smell of blood gave me a full blown panic attack in a restroom at work. Other than that, though, I'm doing much better since the counseling.
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  #6  
May 7th, 2011, 09:44 PM
~*3 little bears*~'s Avatar Jack~Mack~Brooke~Baby
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Location: Santa Fe, NM
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I didn't have anxiety or nightmares with my sections but I did have an incredible amount of anger and frustration about my first birth experience and really I think it wasn't my section itseld that I was so irate about but my doc and the induction that went so horrible and went against every fiber of my being and I really didn't start to feel better until I was close to going into labor with my second which was a planned vbac but turned repeat section when they figured out baby was breech. I didn't feel as much disappointment with my second because for a long time I was under the impression that it really was a necessary section until I started doign more research and learned that breech does not equal section and that there were things we could have tried to turn her or just deliver her the way she wanted to come out. Since then I have felt more frustrated about having had my second surgery but now that I am pg and planning a hba2c I again am starting to feel like I have a chance to "fix" or make up for my prior sections. For me the hope of having a normal birth is really the only thing that helps me deal with my c/s grief
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  #7  
May 24th, 2011, 09:30 PM
Sk8ermaiden's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: Houston, TX
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I am pretty disconnected about the whole thing. I am under no illusions about what happened to persistently malpositioned babies (I pushed for 6 hours) in the days before c/s. So on that front, I am very grateful for my healthy daughter and the technology that brought her here. It is disappointing I was not able to push her out. I worry the same thing will happen again. I don't think about "what I feel about my c/s" very much.
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  #8  
June 5th, 2011, 07:52 PM
NutMeg76's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: United States
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Mine was for what it is worth necessary. He was a footling breech with ruptured membranes. I still feel disappointed though. As I have had each subsequent pregnancy that surgery has been a problem. Yes, I was able to VBAC, and the first two were relatively easy. But, now that I want a homebirth that surgery has really put a damper on my dreams.
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  #9  
August 3rd, 2011, 06:20 PM
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I am pretty bitter about my whole experience. I am not really mad about the c-section but I am pretty pissed by my midwife and the botched induction (like Mama2Jack&mack said). I dont understand why they pushed so much on me and my body. It was really clear that baby wasnt ready to come out and they forced it. As a result we ended up with the c-section.

I learned a lot this time around and have a lot of things I want done differently next time. I think I was naive about birth. I will be finding a new ob practice and going to a different hospital (I dont care that it will be a 60 min drive with traffic).
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