[noland]

Ok here is the deal.
This is my thrid child i am expecting, this will be the second child for the father althogut the first one passed away due to very premature labors. We both live in different states with about 700 miles in between.
The thing that outrage me the most right now is that i feel very much so that life inside of me and in my eyes this is my child already. Now i could not believe the father when he told me on the phone that he wasnt a father yet as the child wasnt born yet. What the hell, is taht a puppy inside of me or what. Ok to be fair i try to get in his shoes sometiems but i do not read mind and he is not the talkative genre weither it is on the phone or face to face. but how I am supposed to feel, am i supposed to jsut handle every **** thing by myself and wait to deliver that child so that he can finnally wake the hell up and realise oh jeez this is real. That does not seem fair to me, i even told him it must be nice to ahve nobody to worry about but yourself. I am what is up with that non talking ****, is that a way to not have to be involved emotionaly like a shield while im going thru that roller coster of emotions by myself. That shows me a selfish side that i never seen in him before this. The way if eel right now if he comes down after i give birth to clainm his trophee c section or not, stitches or not, IV or not i probably will jump out the bed grab him and throw him out the window. we can never get a conversation going because he dont talk sometiems i ahve to check he is still on the line because he dont talk dont react or nothing, i feel like talking to somebody that has flat lined.
I love him to death but ****, ight now i need more from him andit ahs nothing to do with the financial side of it, i feel like i am being starved emotionaly and i dotn need that kind of crap right now. i got so much stress already from the outside world. There is plenty of ways for a father to participate in apregnancy a little emotional connection would certainly not hurt.

well this was my venting piece for now, im sure they will be plenty more to come.

[Melliesbelly]

I've heard so many people say that a woman becomes a mother when she gets pregnant, but a man becomes a father when he holds a child in his arms. I'm not so sure about generalizations, and I really think it varies from person to person. I think you might be right about him shielding himself, especially knowing you've lost one before (for that I'm very sorry). I think you just need to be patient and communicate. That can be one of the hardest things to remember, just... communicating well. If you communicate with nothing but frustration, it's harder for him to -hear- anything but frustration, you know? My DH can seem a little emotionally disconnected, but he doesn't realize it, and I have to make sure to let him know.

But you need support and he needs to give it to you! That's his baby, too!