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  #1  
October 2nd, 2009, 03:06 PM
Taramomof3's Avatar Platinum Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 12,398
Haven't been on in a while, alot of stuff has been going on.
Brianna and I had our 2 week check-ups on Monday, Brianna is 9lbs 10oz and still 21 inches (she was 7lbs 12oz at birth!) She is still nursing great! rarely have to give her formula which is sooo different then it was with the boys! she is doing really well, the doctor was really impressed I am doing good too, my flow has pretty much stopped, stiches from my tear have all disolved and it is not tender no more and I have lost 30lbs already!
We have been batteling colds here, Chase started it with a runny nose which I thought was from teething since his 2 top front teeth just poped through and he usually gets a runny nose when he is teething, but now it has turned into a full out constant runny nose, cough and major cranky boy! he wont sleep through the night he wakes up crying cause he can't breath so I have to go clear his nose and give him some water ect so waking up with 2 kids during the night now fun fun. Brianna woke up last night with a stuffed up nose! so she has cought it now and Dillan has a runny nose now as well! oh boy fun fun! Chase's is turning 1 on Sunday Oct 4th but we now have to cancel his party and schedual it for next weekend because of the colds.
Craig and I have been having problems for a while now but I totally blew up at him on saturday because he made the comment to me of "you should clean the floors up right away after Chase is done eating" because he stepped in some of it so I blew up and said "for one pay attention to where you are stepping for another I got him out of his chair after dinner and put him right into the bath, I can't leave him in the bath alone!" when he said this comment to me I was drying him off and getting his p.j's on!! "so ummm you think maby I was gunna do it after I was done getting him dressed?? and for another why can't you do it?" He screamed back at me saying if I talk to him like that again and he will walk out that door! he has said that before like twice so why doesn't he?? if he is gunna be like that then I don't want him a round! I take care of 3 kids all day plus starting next week I will have 2 more! I found a job taking care of a 2 year old and a 5 year old 3 days a week from 7:30am-5:30pm, $600 a month and she brings thier own food. I am still looking for a weekend job but now am not to sure cause Craig would have to be the one taking care of our kids and I don't know if I can trust him with that. I do everything with them and for them everything from the min the get up in the morning till the min they go to bed, I get up with them if they get up during the night. I have no problem doing this if I would just get some help at night! our rutine during the day is great I love it! it is so much funa dn i dont fine it stressful at all. That is until Craig comes home! He wont even help with wipeing thier hands and face after they are done eating. He can be sitting right there and I will have Brianna nursing but noooo I have to sit there and try to explain to a 3 year old and a 1 year old why daddy can't wipe them down why they have to wait at least 20 min for thier sister to be done eating! He does nothing but sit on the computer! oh and not to mention I got grocherys on Monday while I was in town and of course had to get a few things for Chase's b-day including a gift for him and I get home only to have Craig get all pissy at me because I spent over the grochery budget by $30! omg!!! so I finally broght up his spending habits on how he spends $30 a day on junk food from the gas stations and spends $600 a month on guitar crap! we don't have that kind of cash! He yells at me that it is none of my busness but I am sorry when we can barely afford to feed the kids because of his spending habits that is my busness!! he just doesn't care! I have mentions councelling to him but yeah that opend pandoras box! he can't stande the kids for more then 5 min the min one little thing goes wrong he gets all stressed out and started yelling at them then goes and hybernates inthe bedroom on thew computer! I mean Dillan and Chase can be chasing each other with thier cars around the living room and he yells at them that they are being to loud! I went out and decided I was gunna teach Dillan to ride his bike cause Craig sure wasn't gunna do it he had been saying he was and that every child should have the father teach them to ride thier first bike but no instead he keeps saying that but never does it! so i gopt fed up everytime Dillan woudl ask if he can ride his bike and eveytime me having to say no and see that look on his face so I took him out and you know what 3 hours and he was peddling like a pro! we are woking on steering still but he loves it! well Craig came home from work and Dillan was all excited to show him what he could do and all Craig says is "I was supposed to teaxh him that and started rambleking on *****ing to me! no "good job buddy" or high five nothing just *****ing! the look on Dillans face made me want to pack up and leave right then and there! What and a-hole! Dillan wont he give him a hug goodnight anymore and Craig of course gets all pissy about it well look around! Chase is feeling it as well, he is such a daddys boy but latly Craig wont he pick him up and give hima hig when he comes home from work. Everytime I bring it up he says he is fine and just stressed, stressed is on thing this is totally different, to me it looks like he doesn't want to be here anymore. He wont even hold Brianna, she startes crying when I am bathingt he boys or busy with supper or somthing and all he does is yell at me that she is crying and pushes the soother in her mouth with in turn she spits out cause she dosn't liek the soother all that much so he just stomps away tot he room again amd leaves her crying! and he says he is stressed out!!! I can' see if he acually helps out with things around the house but he doesn't! I am just sooo pissed off and stressing about all this I just don't knwo what to do anymore! I want to leave but have no where to go but B.C and I can't go there cause of custody issues! I am just trying to do what is best for kids but feel like I am failing at that cause I am still with him! I feel like such a bad mom! I just don't know what to do anymore! I am talking to him on Saturday so we will see what happends from there, will try and up-date on that on Monday.
Sorry this is so long, didn't mean to rant on like that. If you made it through all of it you are my hero.
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Brianna Eve (09/12/09) Dillan Zarek (07/20/06) Chase Alexander (10/04/08)

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  #2  
October 2nd, 2009, 03:51 PM
JMTSMOMMA's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Manitoba,Canada
Posts: 7,275
Aw Tara hugs. You are NOT a bad Mom! No way. He needs to step up to the plate and help out with the parenting. Have you guys considered Marriage/Parenting counseling at all? It is such a big job being a SAHM so many people believe it is a big holiday when in fact it is one of the toughest most isolating things. It sounds like he is having a lot of trouble handling things at this point. Does he have family you could speak with?

Do you attend Church at all? Maybe your priest or pastor could advise you also? If not I really think you NEED to talk with someone and get it all out on the table. Even if it does nothing for the relationship you can at least feel better knowing you did everything you could.

If you EVER need someone to talk to privately please pm me and I will even give you my phone number if that would help you hun.

Love ya, you are not alone.

Trace
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~Sometimes the days seem long, but the years are so very short.~

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  #3  
October 3rd, 2009, 12:21 PM
blondie-lox's Avatar Do NOT feed the Troll
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: ON, Canada
Posts: 16,621
I totally agree with Tracey. I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. I agree, Craig needs to understand that parenting is a TWO person job. That really gets my blood boiling when father's don't help. I would lay down the law. Don't give him a choice. What if you weren't there? Would he just leave the kids to do whatever and Briana to scream for hours on end? I'm so sorry. We are here for you. You can PM me anytime. HUGS
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  #4  
October 3rd, 2009, 02:57 PM
2pinks&ablue's Avatar Chantelle
Join Date: May 2007
Location: NB, Canada
Posts: 36,142
I agree with the other ladies. He really needs to step up and start doing his job as a father. I would try and get him to talk to someone about it. If he refuses, I honestly would give him an ultimatum if it was me.
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