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  • 1 Post By mccaroline
  • 1 Post By mccaroline

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  #1  
August 14th, 2013, 05:57 PM
mccaroline's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: SW Ontario, Canada
Posts: 7,024
Starting a new post because I think this is long and confusing for our chat thread and I'd like opinions if you have them.

So the day started out going well. This afternoon we went to visit an old minister of ours since she is back in the province for a few days and our previous church held an open house for her. It was a nice time and it was good to see her and others who we haven't seen in a while. We all left feeling pretty good.

When I got home there was a message from my Mom, her voice sounded odd on the message so even though we had to go get DD2 from day camp I called her back right away. I found out that my bio-dad died early this morning. The death is suspicious and police are investigating. I don't even know how I feel about this information, he was not a nice man and I haven't seen him since I was 7.

So I'm still processing the information I got from my Mom when we get to the camp to pick up DD2, I walked into the building and it smelled like someone was having a BBQ inside and it was slightly smoky, but they were having a charity BBQ outside so I didn't think much of it. I just finish signing my name to sign her out when alarms start going off. A lady comes running down the stairs yelling "Get out! This isn't a drill!!" Great, my DD was still in the playroom and my other DD had just run in there to go be with her! I started to turn around to go out the same way I went in and the same lady yelled at me not to go that way that that was were the fire was. So I took off jogging towards the playroom and my girls, they were already being rushed out by the leaders and I followed. One of my girls saw me and tried to turn around to get to me but one of the leaders just picked her up, turned her around and kept right on taking the kids outside, thankfully! Because I had already signed the papers to pick up DD2 they let me take her from the scene. We ran towards the van which was at the front of the building which was where the fire was and also in the way of the fire trucks. We took off out of there just as the trucks were pulling in. After all of that, you know what is upsetting DD2 the most? Her towel from Disney is still in the building.

Alright, so after all of this my head is reeling! I'm actually sitting here shaking. I don't even know what to do to calm down at this point. I was attempting to make supper, I broke utensils, dropped things on the floor and messed up simple recipes. I need to find a way to get my mind to process the events of the day, but can't figure out how.

How do you process an overload of events/information? Any suggestions?
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  #2  
August 14th, 2013, 06:37 PM
Irish_Wristwatch's Avatar Running with Scissors....
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Location: Ontario, Canada
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oh my gosh what a bad day! ((hugs)) im glad you and the girls are safe!!! That must have been really scary for the kids

Can you take a long warm bath or a walk around the neighbourhood, maybe call a friend and sit and talk it all out with them over coffee or something?
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  #3  
August 14th, 2013, 07:16 PM
Jessimaaka's Avatar Pink in a house of Blue
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Location: Ontario, Canada
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Oh my goodness. That is crazy. So glad you are all safe! And sorry to hear about your bio-dad, even if he hasn't been a part of your life. It must be wreaking havoc on your emotions.

I hope you got take-out instead of making dinner. Can you go for a walk? Bubble bath? Talk to a friend? Write a post on JM Please come here to vent especially if no IRL friends are available! I know its not quite the same but its a good second. Sometimes typing it all out even if you don't post it can be very cathartic. I've done that before for sure.

I can't imagine dealing with all that in one day. Huge hugs coming your way. I hope you're destressing right now.
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  #4  
August 14th, 2013, 07:23 PM
mccaroline's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: SW Ontario, Canada
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I'm forcing my DH to watch Dance Moms with me that I recorded from Tuesday. Poor guy isn't even questioning me, he just turned it on.

I'm just feeling so odd, I'm still shaky about the fire and every time I think about it my heart pounds. As far as my bio goes, I don't know how to feel, I should be sad, he died, but he was a truly awful person and part of me is relived that I no longer have to be looking over my shoulder watching for him and hiding from him. I can post public announcements again, put our names in the phone book and allow our kids to have their photos taken at events and know that he's not looking for me.
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  #5  
August 14th, 2013, 07:52 PM
Jessimaaka's Avatar Pink in a house of Blue
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I'm glad that stressor is out of your life. Its a bit freaky that you don't know the circumstances yet though.

Yay for trashy TV! That should have been on my list too! And I watched Big Brother tonight, hope you're all caught up.
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  #6  
August 14th, 2013, 07:59 PM
mccaroline's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I watched that tonight too.

All he was found with was a piece of paper in his pocket, his one sister's name, his brother's name and his brother's son's name and phone number were written on it. No wallet or any other personal effect was with on him which is why police are calling it suspicious and are investigating. The autopsy was to be this afternoon. It's all so weird.
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  #7  
August 14th, 2013, 08:36 PM
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Hugs! Rough day!

I think after a day like this, a strong drink and bed would be my recipe!
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  #8  
August 15th, 2013, 04:18 AM
Irish_Wristwatch's Avatar Running with Scissors....
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that is odd, I hope you get some answers soon.

How are you feeling this AM?
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  #9  
August 15th, 2013, 06:44 PM
mccaroline's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Well I didn't hear anymore about the death today so I can only assume no more details are known at this time.

As for the fire, it was contained to the kitchen which was good. The kids were able to use the downstairs but weren't allowed upstairs where the kitchen and lunchroom are located. We were able to get DD's towel from Disney back which made her such a happy little girl, and her jacket that I didn't even realize she took with her yesterday. It does mean though that the lunch that the leaders were making for the kids tomorrow can't happen since there is no longer a kitchen to use. They decided since they can't use the lunchroom they will have picnics outside instead and tomorrow they are ordering pizza for the kids to replace the lunch the leaders were to cook. All in all it turned out as well as it could.
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  #10  
August 15th, 2013, 07:04 PM
Irish_Wristwatch's Avatar Running with Scissors....
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glad it wasnt too bad of a fire. I hope the kids enjoy their pizza picnic tomorrow, that sounds like fun!
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  #11  
August 16th, 2013, 06:14 AM
Jessimaaka's Avatar Pink in a house of Blue
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A pizza picnic sounds like fun! Glad it was contained, thats scary.
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  #12  
August 16th, 2013, 07:12 AM
mccaroline's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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The poor leaders. I think they'll all be happy when this week is over! Everyone is still talking about it and a few of them were looking a little stressed this morning. One girl is a real trouper, I guess she was in the kitchen holding the pan that was to go on the stove when it went up in flames. She has gauze tapped all up her arm for the burns, but she's still there and running around with the kids.
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  #13  
August 16th, 2013, 07:34 PM
Jessimaaka's Avatar Pink in a house of Blue
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Oh my! That's real dedication. Glad everyone was ok for the most part.
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  #14  
August 17th, 2013, 11:31 AM
mccaroline's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I'm just glad this week is over.

I forgot to ask my Mom when I saw her today if she had heard anything about my Bio, I guess it doesn't really matter but I'm curious.
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  #15  
August 17th, 2013, 03:12 PM
Jessimaaka's Avatar Pink in a house of Blue
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I'd be curious too. But I'm a bit of a nosey parker
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  #16  
August 17th, 2013, 04:17 PM
mccaroline's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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The autopsy report hasn't been released yet. Police did tell his sister that they will be releasing this body on Tuesday, because of his situation the "state" will be burying him. We did find out a bit more info though. He wasn't living where we thought he was, he was staying at a shelter, for lack of a better word, for seniors. He went out with another guy, apparently drinking, came back and got in a fight with this same guy, the guy left, came back and continued the fight, the other guy left again, and this time didn't return, in the morning bio was found dead in his room. His sister remembers me though, I haven't seen bio in 27 years, and have no idea the last time I saw his sister, although I do have memories of camping with her and her being very nice to me. Anyways she wants to see me again.

What the heck do I say to a woman who is supposedly my aunt, but who I don't consider part of my family and who I haven't seen in 27 years? I have a Dad who has always been there for me and he's the one who I call Daddy and fully consider my father, I have a family, and I'm happy. As much as I'm slightly curious to meet this woman, I'm worried this might hurt him and my current family.

BTW, thanks for becoming my therapy in all of this ladies, I really need someone to talk it out with, even if it's just you agreeing I'm in a weird situation.
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  #17  
August 18th, 2013, 04:41 AM
Irish_Wristwatch's Avatar Running with Scissors....
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Its cool that your aunt wants to see you again and has some nice memories to share Its ok to feel confused, I really dont know what i would say to her. But id take it slow and give yourself a chance to get to know her, even though you already have a wonderful family its always nice to add more to it
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  #18  
August 18th, 2013, 06:20 AM
Jessimaaka's Avatar Pink in a house of Blue
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Yup slow. It might be better to have email/phone conversations before deciding if you want to meet with her. I don't think it would hurt your family (assuming she's nothing like your bio), and while I don't know if it would hurt their feelings since I've never been in a situation like that, its very natural to be curious. Its not like you're looking to replace anyone. And she's the one that initiated. I hope things go well! This could turn out to be a good thing!
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  #19  
August 18th, 2013, 10:48 AM
mccaroline's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I think I'll agree to meet her, at a very public place like Timmys for coffee or something. A phone call first would be a good idea.
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