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I'm a Brownie leader with a lady who I've known since I was a Brownie myself, in other words she's old and stuck in her ways, but I've worked with her for a long time and for the most part we get along.
In a couple of weeks there's an event that's a good hour away from us. She asked me at the beginning of the year if the girls and I would be interested in going. I said yes it sounds like fun, but that I had to check my calendar because the date sounded familiar. When I checked my calendar I realized it was the same day that I have tickets to go see Reba. I went back and told her that I wasn't sure I could go, it would depend on the timing of the event because I wasn't about to give up these tickets. I've asked every week since if she had found out the times of the event.
Fast forward to this weekend. I get an email telling me I'm registered for the event, and so are both my girls, lunch is not included like the other leader told us and the event starts at 8:30am, no end time.
I emailed the other leader asking what was going on, since I still didn't know an end time and being as it was starting so early in the morning there was no way I could do it and still enjoy my evening out. Her response to me is that since it's non-refundable I still have to pay for all three of us to be there.
Is it just me or is that wrong? I feel like I'm being forced to do something that I don't want to do. I haven't signed any permission forms for my girls and I thought I was pretty clear about my uncertain availability.
So do I drive the girls there and arrange pick up for them since I have to pay for them anyways, then just pay for me to not be there? Do I tell her she's wrong and I'm not paying or taking the girls or myself there? Do I just suck it up, pay for all of us and just not show? Or do you see another way out that I haven't considered yet? Keep in mind I have to keep working with her every week from now until May.
I wouldnt pay for it personally. If your daughters want to go and you can arrange pick up for them, then id pay for them to go, but no way would i pay for myself when it was obvious you were clear about not being able to commit without knowing the start and end times
Bree Mom to 3 Little Men 07.22.10 - 10.20.11 - 03.08.13
That's not a fair spot to put you in at all. You already wouldn't commit to it and you didn't commit to it, so you shouldn't pay for you at the very least. If your girls can arrange rides, that's great! But you are not going and did not actively chose to go so should not be on the hook for it.
Oh boy is she mad at me! She was very in my face about it tonight at the meeting.
I give up, I'm going to arrange for the girls to go because I think they will have fun and I'm going to pay for my admission that I won't be using. It's $10, and I'd rather be out that than miss my concert. I may even stay until lunch time, since I'm paying anyways I may as well enjoy a bit of it. It just ticks me off that she cornered me into it.
I am glad you stood up to her. May make her think twice next time and better communicate to you. It sounds like you made a good compromise if the girls will enjoy it and you still get to enjoy your concert. Hope she gets over it soon.
~TTC #1 since 1999 with PCOS
Expecting our first baby April 6th, 2014!
That's ridiculous. I still feel like she bullied you into it. Do NOT miss your concert, and don't hold out because you're tired from being up early to go to this.
It is so not right that she makes you feel that way. I'm mad on your behalf! You are far too nice. If you go this time, what makes her not do something similar 2 months from now? Make sure you are very clear that she is not to make these kind of decisions on your behalf especially after you already told her you couldn't commit.
I told her noon that's it, that's the best she can get from me. That way I'll still be home by 1:00, and be able to rest, shower and change before going out to enjoy my evening. Now I just need a sitter from like 7:30 in the morning until noon.