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  #1  
October 3rd, 2005, 03:58 PM
Rusha's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Canada
Posts: 12,942
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This is an actual job application that a 75 year old senior citizen
submitted to Walmart in Arkansas.


They hired him because he was so funny.........you gotta love it!!!


NAME:

George Martin


SEX:

Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least one that will
cooperate)


DESIRED POSITION:

Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available.
If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the
first place.


DESIRED SALARY:

$185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance
package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.


EDUCATION:

Yes.


LAST POSITION HELD:

Target for middle management hostility.


PREVIOUS SALARY:

A lot less than I'm worth.


MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT:

My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.


REASON FOR LEAVING:

It sucked.


HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK:

Any.


PREFERRED HOURS:

1:30-3:30 p.m. ! ; Monday , Tuesday, and Thursday.


DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?:

Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.


MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?:

If I had one, would I be here?


DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP
TO 50 lbs.?:

Of what?


DO YOU HAVE A CAR?:

I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that
runs?"


HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?:

I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes, so
they tell me.


DO YOU SMOKE?:

On the job - no! On my breaks - yes!


WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?:

Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde supermodel
who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to
be doing that now.


NEAREST RELATIVE....

7 miles


DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR
KNOWLEDGE?:

Oh yes, absolutely.
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  #2  
October 3rd, 2005, 05:00 PM
PIXIEDUST's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Atlantic Canada
Posts: 10,606
LMAO
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Pam, mom to Brenden,Connor and Isaac Magoo


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