heatlth questions and answers

RandomRobot · #1 August 15th, 2007, 08:40 AM

HEALTH QUESTION & ANSWER SESSION
>
>
>
>Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this
>true?
>
>A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't
>waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up
>your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can
>extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer?
>Take a nap.
>
>
>
> Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
>
>A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and
>corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than
>an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need
>grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green
>leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended
>daily allowance of vegetable products.
>
>
>
> Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
>
>A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine,
>that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even
>more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms
>up!
>
>
>
>Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
>
>A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one.
>If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
>
>
>
>Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular
>exercise program?
>
>A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No
>Pain...Good!
>
>
>
>
>Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
>
>A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!... Foods are fried these days in vegetable
>oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more
>vegetables be bad for you?
>
>
>
>Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the
>middle?
>
>A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You
>should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
>
>
>
>Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
>
>A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best
>feel-good food around!
>
>
>
>Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
>
>A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.
>
>
>
>
> Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
>
>A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!
>
>
>Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had
>about food and diets.
>
>And remember:
>"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of
>arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to
>skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other -
>body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO, What
>a Ride".