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Forum: Trying to Conceive With PCOS

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  #1  
January 6th, 2011, 04:52 PM
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Location: Blaine, WA
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I am beginning to feel as if the decision to get pregnant is an illusion and something that I can never really attain. Due to my circumstances, it's a little more difficult then just making the decision. Lately, since the decision was made it seems to me to still be a dream and nothing I will never really get. My partner is female, so we have to get sperm, the problem is that even thought you would think it is easy to come by *no pun intended* it actually is pretty expensive if you want it from a bank. I really wouldn't trust taking an ad on Craigs list and having a guy deliver a cup to my door and I really would like to get as close to my wife in the looks department as possible. I can't help but feel like I'm just setting myself up for a huge disappointment.
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  #2  
January 6th, 2011, 05:17 PM
Hoping To Be A Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: TEXAS
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I'm sorry you're experiencing this. I can't even imagine.. I wish I could offer a solution of some sort, but I know nothing about that. This may be dumb to ask, but have you all considered adoption? Or a close male friend that's been tested etc? I hope you find a solution that suits you.
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  #3  
January 6th, 2011, 06:42 PM
MommytoaMiracle's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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My sister is having to go through a sperm bank to TTC & so I know a little about it.
WHta I do know is it must be hard & expensive.
I hope your dream comes teue & you are able to hold your baby in your arms soon!
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  #4  
January 6th, 2011, 09:13 PM
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Maggie: Thank you for your concern, and adoption by LGBT couples is restricted to about four or five states and currently I live in WA which is not one of them. We thought about considering a male friend but all of our guy friends are thoroughly involved in all of their childrens lives so we don't think they would be able to play the honorable uncle role in the childs life. They are really good guys and they probably would all do it with the intention being outside but wouldn't be able to stay there.

Mommieto4angels: thanks for the wishes, it is very expensive to go through a sperm bank, we looked into it. Where we're at it is about $250 a vial and they recommend mutliple vials especially if you are doing an at home insimination which is what we want so the experience is an intimate one.

IDK ladies, I mean I really want to believe it can & will happen but with the PCOS I also have a vitamin d defficiency which both make each other worse. I don't feel like I should waste any money without a better shot. I do already have a son from a previous relationship and he is as much her son as he is mine but I had to experience the pregnancy alone and scared and we want to go through it together and actually enjoy it. Am I being selfish?
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  #5  
January 6th, 2011, 09:35 PM
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No not at all, it is totally normal to want those things and to want to share them with the one you love. I would have a sit-down-serious talk with some of these prospective male friends. I think it could totally work out!
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  #6  
January 6th, 2011, 09:52 PM
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I hope that you don't take this the wrong way as I don't know the extent of your relationship or the roles you're wishing, but in a general sense I think if you do consider a male friend that it's quite ridiculous to not expect him to be in the childs life in a non-uncle manner. Why wouldn't he be able to be called Father and be involved to some extent while your child grows up knowing this is Mom and this is Mom, and this is Dad? I say this only because I know a couple who went through this recently and that is how they arranged it. Kind of like a divorced kids parental-ship.

If you are Vitamin D deficient I'd suggest taking a Vit D pill if you're not already. .
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  #7  
January 6th, 2011, 10:42 PM
Ritzbitz's Avatar In love with my daughter
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Hi there.. Welcome to the board...

I am really sorry to read about your situation.. It must be extremely tough.. I definitely agree with Maggie, you should seriously talk to your guy friends. Even if they have children, i am sure some one would step up to the plate... Not to be completely out of line here, but JM (justmommies.com) has a LGBT board. I am sure they'd be able to help you out on the sperm bank behalf and relate to you more on that note. I have zero knowledge about the process and do not know anyone who has gone through it to be a little helpful to you! thats not to say that you shouldnt post on our board, you totally should! us cysters stick together!! anything PCOS, POAS, obsessing, venting, etc related, we are experts at haha... but i think the other board may be a little more useful to you and may get you some definitive answers! i'd highly recommend checking them out as well... just a thought! i hope you and your partner can experience pregnancy together. You definitely deserve to!
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  #8  
January 7th, 2011, 05:15 AM
Mega Super Mommy
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Wow, your situation is very unique. Like the other ladies, I don't have any experience or advice to give you regarding the sperm acquisition. I just wanted to wish you much luck! It's hard enough dealing with pcos when ttc, so any added obstacle must be that much more stressful.

Looking forward to getting to know you!
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  #9  
January 7th, 2011, 08:54 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dez View Post
I hope that you don't take this the wrong way as I don't know the extent of your relationship or the roles you're wishing, but in a general sense I think if you do consider a male friend that it's quite ridiculous to not expect him to be in the childs life in a non-uncle manner. Why wouldn't he be able to be called Father and be involved to some extent while your child grows up knowing this is Mom and this is Mom, and this is Dad? I say this only because I know a couple who went through this recently and that is how they arranged it. Kind of like a divorced kids parental-ship.

If you are Vitamin D deficient I'd suggest taking a Vit D pill if you're not already. .
It's not that we don't want the male to be in the childs life but we'd like to keep our family dynamic the way it is. Especially since I already have one child and his father choose not to be a part of his life so I think that situation might make him feel a bit left out or jealous even.
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  #10  
January 7th, 2011, 09:09 PM
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MSchacha: Thanks for the support, I totally get the whole LGBT so I wasn't offended at all. I didn't even really mean to get into all that other then to explain how much added difficulty we are going to have. But thanks for the advice I will check it out.
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  #11  
January 7th, 2011, 11:29 PM
purplelady's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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popping over from TTCAL to say...... hunny you are amazing and you and N will figure it all out. i am here to help in any way you need. just keep your head up love!!!! i know you will find the support you need here. hope you find these boards as helpful and welcoming as i have
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  #12  
January 7th, 2011, 11:59 PM
PlusSizeBarbie1988's Avatar *~Nikki~*
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Im sorry to hear that hunni.. that must be hard.. I know this sounds totally wierd and PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE dont take offense.. Please... but i was watching "A baby story". and thier was a Male Gay couple who did this.. but it would be Just Male intead of female donor in your situation... Does your wife by chance have a brother? One of the Male partners sister Had Used donated sperm from his husband and the sister posed as a surrogate for them so technically the baby was Even blood related to both partners.. If your wifes brother (assuming she has one) was a willing donor his sperm would be used for you to get preg..
(Sorry if this was confusing i even had to read it back a few times)
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  #13  
January 8th, 2011, 07:27 AM
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I like that idea, Nicole!
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  #14  
January 8th, 2011, 03:23 PM
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There was another woman that was on this board a long while ago who was a lesbian but I don't know what happened to her...

Anyway, best of luck to you sweetie. I can't even imagine going through PCOS as well as the difficulty of getting the sperm to boot!
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  #15  
January 9th, 2011, 03:41 PM
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Barbie, that is so funny because one of my best friends, who has incidently taken on the role of coach for me during this, suggested that very same thing. My wife does have a brother and that would be perfect DNA wise but I don't think I could ever get over the idea of it being her brother. LOL. I know it sounds perfect but I can'tget used to the idea. It's just too weird, I think what we are going to have to do is just save some money for a sperm bank because it is too complicated of a matter to use a friend.
On another note, I just found out by reading someone elses post that metformin is used with women ttcwpcos to help them ovulate. My doctor actually stared me on it a few months ago to help incourage weight loss. So I might be a step ahead with that. I am looking into how much my insurance covers with fertility issues right now.
Very optimistic today
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  #16  
January 9th, 2011, 07:35 PM
PlusSizeBarbie1988's Avatar *~Nikki~*
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yaay! i am glad to hear that your are feeling better!.. and yes Met is very helpful. I have lost 9lbs. on it also..
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I'm walking in new shoes now Ive got a new song to Sing..
TTC is one of the most complicated/frustrating situations to go through. remember to Love one another and.. be there for eachother its no-ones fault.. Love and Be Loved..
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  #17  
January 10th, 2011, 07:12 PM
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Location: Blaine, WA
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It hasn't helped with the weight loss issue, my Dr wants to do surgery , but I'm optomistic about it helping with O.
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