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Pressure from friends/family?


Forum: Trying to Conceive With PCOS

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  #1  
March 6th, 2011, 10:04 PM
annem84's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: South Dakota
Posts: 1,293
My husband works as a children's counselor and he is surrounded by mostly child-bearing females. He started work in August 2009 and since then there has been 18 pregnancies among the 30 different counselors. He is one of four guys so he is surrounded by a lot of females...

We have become friends with a few of the counselors and their husbands and I swear every time we get together they say oh Kellen needs a playmate or Kenley needs a playmate or Davis needs a playmate and I keep answering with "well you can have another, etc". I dont like to delve into our sexual relationship or our acts of TTC, etc. I see it as private. Will discuss with my mom, a good friend and maybe my sister if she is in the right mood but yes, I have PCOS, yes I have Endo but yes, I have issues with being intimate to begin with (abuse in my past) so if anybody is pestered by family or friends of when we are going to have x child a playmate or a sister a niece or nephew or our parents a grandchild -- how do you react?

My parents are very supportive EITHER way--if they have a grandchild-great, if not-that is fine also. My sister knows my issues so she is content with spoiling our cats. We know it will probably take extra time but I'm just sick of the probing...
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  #2  
March 6th, 2011, 10:17 PM
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 4
We decided to keep the entire thing under wraps from everyone. No family or friends knew. I didnt want the added pressure. However, when problems starting to arise and everyone around me was prego, the stress was unbearable. My MIL and a few close friends know. but that's it.
I know what you mean to have eveyone gabbing at you and probing very personal info. When people ask my when am I going to have a baby, I wanna say things like When are you going to lose some weight" or "when are you going to start using wrinkle cream!?" Dealing is one of the hardest parts.
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  #3  
March 6th, 2011, 10:18 PM
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Ironton, OH
Posts: 146
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Everyone I know knows about our fertility issues. I'm pretty much open about it, because I don't want people discussing it behind my back like "oh that poor woman" etc. The only thing that my family and friends (aside from my jm pals) do not know about my 2 losses. it's just easier to be open about issues for us. We even are on our church's prayer list because of our fertility issues.
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  #4  
March 6th, 2011, 10:51 PM
D@mnedYankee's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Virginia
Posts: 2,460
I am pretty open too but I know what you mean it is really bloody annoying to hear oh when are you guys having one over and over and over.
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  #5  
March 7th, 2011, 07:54 AM
MommytoaMiracle's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 10,571
Nosey people can be very annoying, for sure! I'm sorry you are having to deal with this nonsense!
Honestly, people mean well when they say stuff like that, but being on this end of the fertility spectrum, I think it's very ignorant to say things like that, because you never know what is going on peoples private lives.

I'm personally, pretty open about our situation, so that I don't have to deal with dumb comments such as those, but if you choose to be private about it, when they make comments like that, the only thing you can do, is either laugh it off, or act like it made you mad, with your facial expression. Any smart person will take that as a cue to shutup, ya know?

I hope everything works out for you, hun!
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  #6  
March 7th, 2011, 08:14 PM
TJSRLS08's Avatar Pregnant with Twins!
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Central Illinois
Posts: 376
Most of the time I just smile and say oh some day maybe but occasionally I will get in one of those moods and will make a flippant comment like "when the doctor fixes me". Most people shut up at that.
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