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I just want to cry


Forum: Trying to Conceive With PCOS

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  #1  
March 22nd, 2011, 08:30 AM
BeccaMenk's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Cincinnati,OH
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So..I dont know if you remember but awhile back I posted about a girl I knew( i used to mentor on a ranch for troubled teens) anyway..she basically lives alone..has nothing..no family ( she was adopted her parents were prostitutes and drug addicts) and barely makes it.

Well I just talked to her and she is pregnant....I guess it is no shock cause I knew it was just a matter of time, but it is really bothering me. Number one she has NOTHING to take care of a baby...and the guy she is now with..well lets say she just doesnt choose these guys well, so I hope he is as good as she says. Anyway, on top of that, I know she will make a wonderful mom, but not now and not without the right support. I always thought she would make a wonderful mom, but now I am scared for her and the baby...

Plus, it does break my heart that we want a baby so badly and here she is..having one with nothing. She is going to be raising it on goverment aide with a shifty guy... I know you all know girls like this...but her situation was already so sad...now she is bringing a baby into it...my heart is broken...
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  #2  
March 22nd, 2011, 08:49 AM
MommytoaMiracle's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Wow...What a sad situation!
I'm SO sorry, girl! Have you spoken with her about it?
Does she want the baby? Has she thought about all this? Keeping it may not be the best thing in this situation.

What a mess! *shakes head*
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  #3  
March 22nd, 2011, 09:02 AM
BeccaMenk's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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yeah I know..I think she should really consider giving it up..but honestly it is hard to approach that because well..first I dont want her to think I am trying to get her baby or something like that...and second.. She was adopted and sadly her adopted parents were jerks. I just mentioned the thought to her in a text message..not the best way , but at this point, the situation makes me so sick I dont even want to think about it or even offer her any help. I know I need to get past my feelings, and I will, but its hard. Girls in that situation often are not thinking about the baby..but more about themselves. I know her, and she has always wanted to have children, she always wanted someone to love and to love her. This baby will fill an emotional emptiness in her...I just pray she is able to get past that and do whatever it takes to forget herself and care for the baby.
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  #4  
March 22nd, 2011, 09:10 AM
BeccaMenk's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Did I mention the babys dad is a rebound guy from another relationship..and she lives in her aunts basement. They both work as waitor/waitress and make squat, she is totally irresponsible with money, and she is going to be totally relying on goverment aid....grrr....okay I am going to let it go for now..and think happy thoughts..
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"That special power of loving that belongs to a woman is seen most clearly when she becomes a mother. Motherhood is the gift of God to women". - Mother Teresa.
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  #5  
March 22nd, 2011, 09:20 AM
**rockinmomma**
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I can't imagine how dificult that must be to go through. It sounds like maybe going to talk to someone about it might help her. Having a baby just to fill the void is a horrible idea... Plus the most important part of being a mom is putting you baby's needs ahead of your own. Maybe you could help explain that to her? I'm sorry you're having to go through this!
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  #6  
March 22nd, 2011, 11:26 AM
Hoping To Be A Mommy
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Did she reply with if she wants to give up the baby? I would definitely step in Becca! You are ready, she isn't! I know that sounds weird of me to say- but I would at least try.. If you WANT to adopt that is.. Hugs to you! Keep us posted.
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  #7  
March 22nd, 2011, 12:25 PM
annem84's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Those situations break my heart-not only for the innocent child but for the girl herself--it almost sounds like she wants somebody to love and love her back?

One of my cousins was a teen mom (had great support though) but she mentors teenage mothers and one she has right now just turned 13. I don't like to whine but "it is not fair"!

Big hugs to you & her!
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  #8  
March 22nd, 2011, 01:27 PM
BeccaMenk's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Thanks girls! I mentioned adoption in a text and she never responded..so sad. You girls are spot on. She is just looking for love and acceptance...I think she is going to cling to this baby for that...she isnt seeing reality right now...all I can do is pray and try to be there..she doesnt live in the same state is me so I all I can do is talk to her over the phone..though maybe later I may try to visit her.She has a long road ahead....
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  #9  
March 22nd, 2011, 01:29 PM
aprils242001's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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That is sad! I hope she make the best choice for that poor baby. It is always hard to see stuff like this happen. Keep us posted on her.
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  #10  
March 22nd, 2011, 04:28 PM
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That's sad... for her and the baby. I hope she makes the right choice, whatever that may be, and the baby will grow up happy and loved....
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  #11  
March 22nd, 2011, 11:57 PM
PlusSizeBarbie1988's Avatar *~Nikki~*
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Soo sad to hear .. I dont even feel like I was making a good decision Not Preventing With DH when I was almost 20.. because i didn't know if i was mentally stable at that point( i cant imagine being in her environment she is mentally ready) .. we had our own place 2 cars and savings, and STILL were unsure.. So i cant imagine how hard it is for her to think about the future.. On the other hand maybe it Will Encourage her to better herself.. My bestfriend had her 1st child right after she turned 16, she had #2 when she was 20, and now #3 at 23. She had NOTHING! family was "OKAY" to her.. But her 1st changed her life totally.. she began college early and is now a vet tech studying to be a Veterinarian.. SO i hope That can give you hope my ..for a young girl you OBVIOUSLY care about .. maybe this will change her life for the better..
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  #12  
March 23rd, 2011, 05:04 AM
BeccaMenk's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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True Nicole, I hope it does change her life. She is a great person, who needs a lot of help and alot of love...
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  #13  
March 23rd, 2011, 05:33 AM
ETanny's Avatar Mamma 2 Moo & Pops
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So heartbreaking, I hope she decides to do whats best for the baby and not her self.
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  #14  
March 23rd, 2011, 06:28 AM
D@mnedYankee's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Maybe she will step up and surprise you. I was 16 when I had DD and while I did have a good support system with my parents which did help tons my ex was never useful and hasnt been involved in DD's life for the last 5 years. To be honest with y'all DD is my motivation to get through school right now it is killing me and I am wanting to walk away but I just remind myself that I need to look Amber in the eye one day and tell her she can do it no matter what so how can I not finish?
There are great programs out there for single moms, and quite a few are run by non-profits, hopefully she can get the help she needs to make the right decisions what ever they end up being
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