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Forum: Trying to Conceive With PCOS

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  #1  
March 24th, 2011, 12:49 PM
Hoping To Be A Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: TEXAS
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My sister is older than I am. She will be 27 in May.
We had the talk today.

She said she is wanting to try for kids soon and is worried that if she gets pregnant right away that I won't be able to be there. I hate that I have made her wonder this and she and I are BEST FRIENDS. Just...the thought of it does make me super jealous and scared. She probably WILL get pregnant right away. I know a lot of you have nieces and nephews. How do you handle this? And those of you with sisters understand the sisterly thing where you're constantly compared to each other and etc. How did you all get through this and not be a monster? I want to be happy for her if/when this happens, I just know it is going to be super hard.
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  #2  
March 24th, 2011, 12:54 PM
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I can't compare it with my sisters because they all had kids before I could even think of it. My niece(19) got pregnant and I did NOT take it well. I acted as happy as I could but when we were around each other you could just tell I couldnt handle it. Eventually I made the decision I was going to be happy for her no matter what and it seems to have worked. Im supposed to be in the delivery room though and Im still not sure how Im going to handle that if Im not preg. Anywho its okay to be upset at first but its trying to work past it.
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  #3  
March 24th, 2011, 01:31 PM
**rockinmomma**
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Well I don't have much to add because I don't have any siblings... and my SO's sisters all have kids, as do most of my friends lol.. I will say it was very considerate of her to talk to you about it. She obviously cares a lot about you. I think that's pretty awesome! I'm still banking on you getting your BFP this cycle
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  #4  
March 24th, 2011, 01:38 PM
MommytoaMiracle's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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My sister actually was going through fertilit treatments the same time I was, so I would have been over the moon for her, because she working JUST as hard for her baby as I was.

You are in a pickle. I dont know, I'm sure you will feel jealousy & such, but I think it's healthy to communicate about it with your sister.
You may feel sad at first, but it will go away quickly & the fact that you are a soon-to-be Aunt will kick in!
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  #5  
March 24th, 2011, 03:37 PM
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I'm on the other side.. my BROTHER (younger by 2 yrs) just had a baby in December. It was SO hard for me... I was a meanie to his girlfriend, because I was so jealous. My DH actually made me see how awful I was being, and how everyone deserves a chance at a family and happiness.... I eventually came around. Now, I see my 3 month old nephew, hold him occasionally, and wish/pray/hope/dream about having another one of my own... But I think my being the bigger person has made me a better person overall....
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  #6  
March 24th, 2011, 05:38 PM
katylady's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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well my sister is younger and already has 4 children...all before DH and I decided to start TTC. But talking to her about her PCOS experience vs mine is horrible. Especially since the docs think I may have another diagnosis added to PCOS. I guess the only thing I'm truely jealous of is how her husband is full onboard with kiddos...all she had to do was call in her prescription for clomid and within 3 cycles she was pregnant.

we aren't as close as it sounds you and your sister are. she seems to drive me nuts and sometimes i don't think she understands how different things are for other people. But I love all 4 of my nieces and so glad to be an Aunt. Just wish sometimes I lived closer so i could be there for holidays, bdays and sports events.
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  #7  
March 24th, 2011, 07:20 PM
PlusSizeBarbie1988's Avatar *~Nikki~*
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Well! My sister has 3.. she is one yr older than me .. she is not my sister by birth but we are as close as it gets without blood.. i have been there through all 3 and the hardest part for me was How my husband got sooo close to her middle son he calls him "elmo" cause he cant say "uncle".. when he hears elmo on tv he goes nuts and does the same for my husband.. I KNOW my husband wants a boy soo bad and its hard.. BUT! me and her also share the same doctor so he knows my struggle watching her though every appt and seeing me at every birth with the puppydog eyes. and that has him working all the harder to see us with a baby belly soon.. As for how to handle it Mags Im more than sure after the "this sucks" phase you will be so excited to have a niece or nephew you will let the love for your sister,and the baby overpower the "why not me blues" (god i hate those!) and you are soo lucky!!! to have a sister that is considerate of your feelings omg thats awesome! she seems like a sweet girl and hopefully this is your cycle Love.. Im crossing everything for you babe!!
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  #8  
March 24th, 2011, 07:44 PM
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I mentioned it a while ago that my younger sister had an "oops" about 6 weeks or so before my bfp. I did not handle it well at all and I feel so bad now.

I think you are ahead of the game in that your sister was considerate enough to talk to you in advance and she obviously cares a great deal about you. My sister was shocked, but instantly excited, but had a m/c not long after we found out and I was so guilty for not being supportive and excited enough in the beginning I actually "felt" that something wasn't right and actually kept encouraging her to not get too excited and I thought that was my jealousy, but it turns out it was with good reason

I say just go with it and know that there is no right or wrong way to act or to feel, just how you feel at that moment. If you are honest with yourself and your sister as much as possible, the guilt for not "being" a certain way will be one less burden for you to deal with.

Good Luck, I still hope you get your bfp before it becomes an issue for you
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  #9  
March 24th, 2011, 07:50 PM
BeccaMenk's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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My sister has PCOS and she just had her 3rd baby, so its not nearly as bad or as hard for her. With the first two I wasn't TTC yet so it didnt even cross my mind to be upset, but with the latest one she had last month, it was really hard. First off because as I said in another post, she named the baby Mariana, which is the name I wanted to give our first baby girl, and second cause she really did get pregnant like super fast using clomid. I thought it was going to be so hard to see the baby and what not when i went to visit, but it really wasnt to bad. I had a moment of wanting to cry and jelousy, but I guess I love my sister, and I want her to be happy too.

Everyone is different, but if she gets pregnant it may be hard, but I think it will be mixed with happiness for her. Its fun to be an aunt and be able to spoil them . The feelings are hard at moment but yts just something to work through....You are just going to end up loving them so much that it will help quell all those feelings.
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  #10  
March 24th, 2011, 08:39 PM
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Thank you girls so much for your endearing replies .. I think I'll be alright- it'll hurt, but I think it'll all be okay. Being an aunt would be exciting! I hope we're pregnant at the same time! THAT'D be awesome! I hope this is my cycle too!
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  #11  
March 25th, 2011, 08:50 AM
msladibugg's Avatar Veteran
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Location: Florida
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I think if my sister and I were close, it might be a little hard but I would still be happy for her.

My sister is younger than I am. Unfortunately I don't have a relationship with my sister. She is not a very nice person & we haven't spoken in a few years. She has 4 children from 3 different fathers, 2 abortions from 2 other guys. She has openly admitted that she gets pregnant on purpose to trap guys & when it doesn't work I guess that's where the 2 abortions came into play. She has told others in the family that she is more of woman than me because she has kids. It's truly disgusting!! Worst of all, she completely neglects those children. I feel awful for the children. I don't even know how I'm related to such a person. It has caused me great heartache in the past knowing that someone like her can get pregnant so easily.

So, if your sister isn't like mine I'm sure you'll find a way to be happy for her.
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  #12  
March 25th, 2011, 11:21 AM
D@mnedYankee's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Virginia
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Like the other girls said you guys are a couple steps ahead since she has talked to you about it. My sisters are both much older than I am (I am 24, one is 41 and the other is 44) so they both had they're kids when I was little so I didnt have to deal with my sisters. Both my BILs however had babies last year (one was born Sept '10 and the other Oct '10) and it was hard for me especially since I had JUST miscarried when I found out about their pregnancies but I just moved past it to where now I am just happy for them and can't wait to FINALLY meet my niece
and nephew, IDK how it will be when I see them (one is in Oklahoma, one in Colorado and we live in Virginia) but I hope I can just be happy about the new babies. They have given me an outlet for baby shopping which is nice
good luck hun and I am sure you will make an amazing Aunt
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  #13  
March 25th, 2011, 06:16 PM
Hoping To Be A Mommy
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Thank you!
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