[3Sapphires]

this was more like a nightmare though - since moving down here, and researching my options for childbirth, I am becoming quite discouraged with the providers out there. I know I am a good VBAC candidate since I already had one, but finding a VBAC friendly provider has become almost an obsession. And where I stand currently is - I have no idea what I am gonna do when I do get PG - I may end up having DH catch the baby so I don't have to go to the hospital and be bullied into a c/s.

anyway, this is carrying over into my dreams. I had a dream last night that I was PG, my water broke, but contrax never started - at 12 hours of doing everything I could to get labor going - We decided it was time to go to the hospital. I luckily woke before the inevitable - "well ma'am you need a c/s" line.

but I woke up in a cold sweat.

I know a lot people aren't this concerned about how they deliver, but for me, it is very important. I had an emergency crash c/s with my first, my MIL got to see and hold my baby before I even was awake. then the first time I did see him I was so out of it, I don't remember it. I was in pain for weeks, and never wanted to do that ever again.

Then having a VBAC was an amazing experience - I was told by so many - including my own mother it would just be easier to have the repeat c/s. That I wouldn't have to be in pain for so long, and that labor is just miserable. Then I did it, and I felt like a million bucks afterwards.

and now I am in a position that I may be forced to have an unassisted birth, or a c/s, and it is positively scaring the H@ll out of me.

[Ritzbitz]

i can understand the concern for wanting to deliver a certain way. you definitely shouldn't be bullied into anything you are not comfortable with. If VBAC is possible, then push for it as much as you can! i know you've considered a home birth, and even though its on the pricey side, perhaps there are alternatives to that like getting a midwife/doula instead of an ob??? i am sure there are providers out there that will support you! and you seem very proactive and very determined and i think you will achieve what you are hoping for because of such determination! do not give up!

[3Sapphires]

that is the problem I am running into - there are no midwives that aren't within an OB's office down here that accept my insurance.

I want to be able ti find something like the practice I used when I delivered Nathan. It was a free standing midwifery, the did hospital deliveries and billed my insurance.

the closest thing I can find down here is a midwife that is in the same practice as intervention happy doctors, and it seriously has me frazzled.

[*Manda*]

Im so sorry you're having those dreams I know how important VBAC is for you. All you can do is keep researching and then if you HAVE to pick a midwive in an OB's office just continue to make your wishes known. Have you thought about hiring a doula to kinda help stand up for you?

[Sk8ermaiden]

Aww, gee, you have no idea how much I totally understand. I have said before the only way I'd ever consider UC is if there were literally no options for VBAC. Are you plugged in with your ICAN? They usually know everyone.

[3Sapphires]

my "local" ican group is no longer - the next closest chapter is centered 2.5 hours away.

I sent an email to a midwife I found, she used to have a free standing midwifery, she is now employed at the local OB office, I am hoping she has good things to tell me.