[aubers68]

Ok so warning, this may get long.

My BFF is getting married September 2012 and I am her maid of honor. Tonight all the bridesmaids (well most) got together to look for dresses. Surprisingly, we actually all agreed on one and everyone is pretty much ready to order. I really didn't think we would be ordering this soon. I thought I had some time. After all I was told we were just going to look, just to get ideas. Well the consultant at David's Bridal is sort of pushing us into buying now because the dress we all like is a special value, and she said when a dress is a special value that *usually* means it will be discontinued shortly. So here comes my problem. TTC!!! They suggested I order a dress 2 sizes bigger then what I would normally wear because dresses cannot be made bigger. However, if I do not become pregnant I would have to pay to have it taken it. And in all reality I do not mind one bit paying to have it taken in as most stores have a alteration cap or $50 for bridesmaid alterations. BUT.... IF I do become pregnant any time soon I hardly believe that 2 sizes bigger then my normal size would fit appropriately for a 7-9 month pregnant women. Shoot, I don't even know if it would fit 5-6 months in. Then again I've never been pregnant. I feel like I'm caught between a rock and a hard place. Parts of me feel like I should hold off on TTC because this is my best friend, BUT I really whole heartedly do not want to, nor do I think I should "have" to. I mean having PCOS I feel like we should take every single chance we can and never give up. I just don't know what to do. I'm stressing over it and the wedding isn't even until September. Anyone have any advice or suggestions? I've thought about asking her if I can just hold off as long as possible and if the dress does get discontinued then I can order a similar one by another maker in Black instead of Grape like the other girls because her colors are Black and Grape, and after all I'm the maid of honor and at my wedding she wanted to wear a different color to stand out so I think she should be okay with it for me in her wedding to wear the other color. But I don't know how to approach her. Everytime I bring up the pregnancy thing and having to do with her wedding she gets weird. Almost like it's a sin for me to be trying. Then again I could be over reacting because I'm a very very sensitive person and overanalyze everything. But She's even made "jokes" about how I should just wait till after the wedding so we can try getting pregnant together (YEAH RIGHT... all us here know how that would turn out) UGHHHHHH

[julianna]

My advice is this:
Life is short, and if she is truly your BFF, she will completely understand your not putting off ttc!! Dont do it!! :-)
Personally, I would think POSITIVELY and that there is a GREAT chance that you will be pregnant!!! Buy the dress bigger and worry about it later!!
Worse case scenario, if you end up being too big for the dress, you will know it by then and can monitor as you would grow and can arrange to wear something different or even add similar material to the gown.
This is HER day, what you look like shouldnt matter - all eyes will be on her! right!!!??

I would hate to see anyone put off or worry about something which is such a blessing and chance of a lifetime, for someone's "big day"..... SHE knows when her big day is!! Women with PCOS have no guarantee!! Right!!!

Good luck on whatever you end up doing, but I think this is time where you come first!!

No worries hun!! Just get the dress bigger, hope for the best and put the pieces together closer to her wedding day!!

[Sk8ermaiden]

Hmm. IF money is not an issue, I would just order the dress in the right size or two sizes larger. And then, IF you got pregnant, and could know how far along you are going to be, you can bring the issue up. I think there are a few options. One is if you will be in the first trimester, or even likely much of the second, a dress 2 sizes larger may well be alterable to fit. If You will be late in pregnancy, the black dress option sounds great, or you could pick a maternity dress in her style, OR, you can buy yardage of David's Bridal bridesmaids fabrics and have a dress made, likely for a similar cost. You could have it made just like the others if she wants. I bought yardage of my bff's color satin from David's and made my own.

Really, I don't think that you can NOT buy the dress because you MIGHT get pregnant later on. It's the kind of situation much better handled when there is an actual pregnancy. But of course the idea of putting of TTC is ridiculous, especially since who knows how long it will take you!

[catielove]

I definitely don't think you should put off TTC. If she's truly your BFF, she will understand if you need to get a different dress.

I would buy the size you wear now and then if you get pregnant, buy a different dress and sell the original on ebay.

[yrlilangel]

I would NOT put off TTC. David's bridal is really pushy. They said the same thing to me when I was trying dresses on for my cousin's wedding. It was so much prssure to by within that month, that I dropped out of the wedding. If you have the money than go ahead and buy the dress 2 sizes up. If you do get PG I'm sure your bff wont mind you changing your dress (besides, MOH dresses are suppose to be different).

[*Manda*]

Believe it or not I've dealt with this issue in different ways

I'm a bridesmaid in my friends wedding in March. I've put off ordering a dress this far(even though she hasn't gotten any of her bridesmaids too) but I'm gonna see if I get my BFP this cycle and if not I'll get onto her to get them ordered. I'll only be 2-3 months so my issue wouldn't be as big as yours.

My friends was a last minute addition to my wedding when another friend bailed. She was about 7 months pregnant in my wedding and about 4 months when she bought her dress. She ordered it 2 sizes up and it was MASSIVE on her. She had to get a ton taken in on it. So ordering 2 sizes up really can give you a lot of room.

Another point is the dress...do you have a pic? Is it roomy or tight on the belly? That can make a big difference too.

Also I believe at David's you can have them call you if they are about to discontinue a dress. Actually, I'm almost positive about that. It kinda sounds like the lady that pushed you is really wanting the sale from it and is being pushy because of that. I say call up there and ask if they can tell you if its going to be d/c so you can order it then and if they say yes push it off as long as you can

Also if for some reason you can't get that dress it isn't unusual for the MOH to wear a different dress from the other bridesmaids.

And about her getting weird it may be hard on her. You're at two different points in life and sometimes brides can get the "all about me" ego. She may not mean too but we're all guilty of it sometimes.

[3Sapphires]

I'd say order up a dress size or 2 in hopes that you will be PG, but then not worry about again!

My BFF was getting married in the midst of tcc our first, sadly I wasn't even close to being PG by the time her wedding rolled around, but my seamstress did a great job taking the dress in, and it wasn't an arm and a leg - I'd say get yourself an independent seamstress - the cookie cutter ones are bridal stores aren't worth their salt.

When I got married, the same BBF above was my MOH, and her dress was cut too small, the independent seamstress worked magic!

[aubers68]

Thanks everyone!! Such great advice. I guess I've just been over reacting a little bit as I felt she was careless of MY feelings while I was trying my best to be logical when it came to hers. I've decided that I'm going to order a dress 2 sizes too big. IF I don't get pregnant obviously it will get taken in. IF I do get pregnant hopefully it fits, IF it doesn't then I will order extra fabric and have a seamstress work some magic this is the dress... it is NOT very giving in the stomach area.

[Sk8ermaiden]

Very true, but with so many seams, it would be pretty easy for a good seamstress to use extra fabric to make it fit.

I think you made a good decision, and your reaction to her kind of insensitive comments is totally normal.

[*Manda*]

Just an FYI that dress is a great dress on preggos

Just ask that one LOL


I was kinda shocked to see you post that dress but I them. I wasn't a fan of the weird sash thing though so I just made it a regular ribbon. Anywho my bridesmaid was 7 months preggo and I guess my photographer was good cause I can't find any pics to show you how big she was

Does the bridesmaid color happen to be pool? If so I could score you a great deal

Seriously though, she did the 2 sizes up and like I said ended up SWIMMING in it, but they got it fixed up(she did independent) and as you can see there she looks great in it.

[aubers68]

Oh my gosh Amanda! Thanks hilarious! Boy do I wish it was Pool. lol But it's not, it's going to be Lapis. Yea we don't care for the ribbon either. David's offers this black ribbon that has 3 flowers on it with some shiny beads so we are all getting those instead. It's super cute bc her colors are purple and black so it works perfect that the ribbon came in black

[~* Natasha *~]

I think that you have made the right decision, and I'm sorry I'm just now getting back to you on this! I did get to quickly read everyone's advice last night and they were all doing such a lovely job!

I think it's hilarious that Manda's Bmaid dresses are the exact dresses you are going to be wearing! How about that?!?

I really hope that when that wedding comes around you are so big and pg!!! (And I really mean that as a hopeful compliment!)