[loveneverfails]

So my DH's younger brother, younger than me brother, is having a baby with his new wife. She is barely 21 and just dropped out of college and got married because she got pregnant. I was livid when we found out. We were forced to come to the wedding we live on the (east coast and they live in texas) I had to take a personal day and I only just started working in August, I don't have any days built up so I was angry about being forced to go. Then the whole time DH's mom talks about the baby and how its her first "blood" granddaughter. She was a foster mom to two kids and now one of them has a baby girl with his girlfriend who he called crazy for a year and half and wouldn't even see the baby until he got a DNA test back. Now all of the sudden they are one happy family. Now his youngest brother is having a baby and we're all suppose to happy for them. They call us all the time and talk about the baby and them and today demanded that we need to send a card for the baby shower that is coming up since we won't be able to attend. I got mad and said I was NOT having my name put on a card from them.

I am so SICK of his family and their lack of understanding for what we are going through. They abandoned DH and DH had no choice but to move in with an aunt and later join the military. They don't care about him. Even when we visited for 10 days over the summer with their then only grandchild(my SS) we had to stay elsewhere because they didn't have a bed for us. We hardly saw them. Oh but the foster kid has a baby and comes home and all of the sudden they build a play set outside and buy a crib and new queen size bed and all these toys. What about when SS was there? He hardly got any attention from his grandmother but the new baby who her foster son denied for 9 months all of the sudden has a room and toys. Oh and its not like they live there either, they also live on the east coast (different state from us but still far away from them).

I know I need to be nice and be happy for them but I can't help being bitter. Sorry for the long rant but I needed to get it out and I'm not up for starting an argument with DH.

[MommaHarvey]

I hate that you are being put thru this with DH's family. They are the ones you should be able to rely on the most.

However if you feel this way and need to vent, this is a safe place to do it. We have all been thru trying times during our different journeys, and even if we don't understand, in a way we still do understand. Plus it's not healthy to keep your feelings in. Stress makes TTC so much harder.

I hope things get better soon. I know it's hard but try to focus on DH and yourself and don't give those who don't support what your going thru any extra emotional attention.

[~* Natasha *~]

Gosh hun, I'm so sorry. That stinks so bad and it's hard to see even people you truly do love and care about get pg, much less people who are mean/bitter and seem (even somewhat) inconsiderate or careless about the blessing that is a healthy pregnancy......

I hope things get better for you and good luck with this situation!

[MamaAnna]

I'd be hella bitter, too. New baby aside they had no right to treat your DH or SS that way and then make demands of all of you. **** them!

[sandibeach]

I can completely understand about being bitter! I have a completely different situation then you but at the same time have a family member who thinks that getting pregnant is something she can just do or not do (aka get an abortion) whenever she feels like it. It makes me so upset. I'm struggling with not being bitter too, but venting definitely helps!

[aubers68]

So sorry you have to deal with that. Parts of me want to give others the benefit of the doubt and think, "Ok maybe they just want you to be included because they know you want a baby and they want you to feel welcomed around theirs" then parts of me feel like that's a bunch of bull and they just have no consideration for your situation. UGH people suck, they really do. I know I've had my share of inconsiderate family members myself. Wouldn't it be so nice if we could put our politeness aside and tell them how it really is?!?!

[loveneverfails]

Thank you all for your support. DH and I did talk about it all...although I had calmed down and was less angry about the whole situation but he completely agrees that they hardly call, visit, anything but feel like we need to be there or send gifts when his little brother needs something. I feel like I should remind them they ALL forgot about SS's birthday and we have him every other year on his actual birthday and this past year was our year but did they call? Nope.

DH and I are very hurt by the whole situation with his foster brother and his baby. I mean we were there for just as long over the summer. His mom practically ignored SS. She won't play with him read to him or anything. She up and got the grand idea she was going to take him to Chuck E Cheese's one afternoon came over to pick him up AFTER she had been DRINKING and she had the nerve to yell at my DH because he told her she wasn't allowed to take him anywhere. They are absolutely crazy. DH did decided to talk to them again about our situation and tell them that at this point in our life it is not ok for them to call us demanding we send gifts for a baby who we know wasn't planned or even wanted at first. We'll see how that goes but at this point we're so tired of having our feelings hurt when they never REALLY seem to care about us.

On a better note... we have an appointment with a reproductive endocrinologist on the 24th!!!! yay!!!! We are SO ready to take the next step and figure out why everything we've currently done hasn't worked.

[MamaAnna]

I love how you just threw the RE in there.

[Sugar1802]

Originally Posted by sandibeach

I can completely understand about being bitter! I have a completely different situation then you but at the same time have a family member who thinks that getting pregnant is something she can just do or not do (aka get an abortion) whenever she feels like it. It makes me so upset. I'm struggling with not being bitter too, but venting definitely helps!

I agree with you! It is so hard when everyone around you gets pregnant either without trying numerous times or just has an abortion because they don't want a kid. It is hard seeing this and not being bitter. I am always trying to be happy for my friends and family but not one of them understands that what it is like not having any kids yet and trying so hard