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I know that all the women on here have gone through the pain and disappointment month after month after hearing "Sorry not this month". How do you deal with it? What are some ways that you have found that helped you to stay positive and not let PCOS get the best of you?
I won't lie... there were many times where it was very difficult to stay positive. I prayed a lot. AND I cried a lot. I did research and made sure I was doing everything I could to get that BFP. I tried my hardest to embrace the pregnancies around me instead of letting them get me down. That was one of the most difficult things for me... many of my friends and family were on their 2nd or 3rd even their 5th children and I couldn't get my one. Instead of being jealous (which, don't get me wrong I was) I did my best to support them. Be around them. Embrace the children and how much I desired one. I think I was subconsciously living through them which is sort of weird, but you know what, it seemed to work, most the time anyways lol.
I also kept in my mind that if for some reason I could not get pregnant there was always adoption.
I know what you mean about the people around you. It is hard to be happy for them when inside yiu are so sad. I pray every night for it to be my time. I have wrapped my head around the fact that I will never have an "oops" baby and I am ok with that.And I know I can adopt and will if it gets to that point, but I just want to be selfish and have my own. Thank you for the kind words. It is nice to know i am not alone.
You are far from alone!! There are plenty of women on this board with PCOS who have the same struggles and emotions you are going through, and they are a great support system. It's a little difficult seeing others get pregnant (as there are a handful of us expecting right now) but it's also a sign of hope. Stick around and get to know everyone! Share your stories and thoughts We love having new friends around here, jump right in!!
I hope to get to know people here. I feel better just reading the stories on here. I am thankful I found this site, these stories have been inspiring. I have thought about starting a journal but I don't know how much anyone else would benefit from my story. But seeing how much these stories have helped me, maybe my story will help someone else. Thank you for being so welcoming.
Honestly I try and not think "this isn't the month" and instead focus on how to get ready for next month. How can I do better? Are there any other supplements I can take? Does my Clomid need to be increased? Thinking positively about next month keeps me from being negative about this month. For example, pretty much everyone in my family has a winter birthday. It's okay that my child won't be due in winter because they won't be lumped in with the rest of us, people's budgets won't be as strapped when it comes to presents, etc. Basically I try to think of the silver lining.
Of course I do still have my negative moments, and I still cry when that "this isn't the cycle" moment hits. That's normal. It would be weird if I didn't!
Hearing about someone having an oops baby, or getting pregnant the month they decided to try, still stings very much. Thankfully I only have one pregnant friend right now like that and she moved away so I don't have to see her and be reminded of her baby bump as much. Seeing people get BFPs who have struggled doesn't bother me as much. It definitely helps having a place I know I can come and vent to ladies who get it.
Thanks Bokkechick for my wonderful siggy! TTC Blog
I've been in a funk lately and found it hard to snap out because everything I go to Facebook, 70% of my female friends recently posted news that they are expecting or expecting again, or belly shots, etc... I'm thrilled for them, I really am... But it's hard being the one thing I want more than anything and even with drastic measures with all the meds I have nothing. I have snapped back to positive but it's hard and I've shed tons of tears. I definitely think this group helps to be positive.
I see now that I was missing a positive support group. None of my friends or family know what it is like so as much as they try to help, it doesn't really help. Finding this group is a true God send. I wish you all the luck in the world. Yes Facebook is a constant reminder of my short comings. I recentl had a friend that got an abortion and I think it was harder on me than her. Not only am I personally against abortion but she was ending a life that I have been praying to start. I know in my heart it will happen, but sometimes the little engine just wants to say I cant.
Melissa, I am right there with you. I suffered a miscarriage this week, and in the mist my sister-in-law and brother announce they're 10 weeks pregnant. Are you kidding me? < i said something way worse!! Sometimes we just want people to be understanding, sometimes we want everyone to really understand, but the only ones that understand are the ones that are really going through it themselves. I also choose not to go on facebook anymore, because about 10 friends and family are expecting, just having and celebrating bdays. Its hurtful and sad, and i guess i dont know how to cope. My DH doesnt have that connection like i do with the whole thing. I have really good days, where im busy, no one has annoucned their pregnancy and i havent thought about how i dont have a kid, but i also have sad days, like others have described, where i cry. Its such a whole emotional journey, where everyones is different.
I am so sorry for your loss. :'( That was really insensitive of your brother. They should have waited until a more appropriate time to announce that, at least to you. My husband, bless his heart, is really supportive, but everytime he tries to help I end up just shaking my head and telling him he doesnt understand. I have no girls to talk to all this about and talking to a guy just isnt the same. I had a really hard day yesterday. My mom and sister were joking around with me and saying how I'm falling behind and how I come from a long line of producers I need to get the ball rolling. Get In there and please your husband and Itll happen. Then proceed to throw it in my face how easy it was for thrm to get pregnant. I know they didn't mean any harm but it hurt. sent me into a doosey of a pity party. Prego I hope you recover well and pray that you will conceive again soon.
Aw man I'm so sorry they did that to you. Do they know you guys are trying and having trouble? I can't imagine saying something like that to someone I know is trying. I can almost see saying something like that to someone who just hasn't decided when they want kids yet, but still... Maybe that's because I knew I was going to have trouble before any of my friends started having kids so I've always had that outlook.
Thanks Bokkechick for my wonderful siggy! TTC Blog
Yeah they both know and have been a huge support to me. My sister got diagnosed with PCOS a couple of years ago, after she had 2 kids. My mom had to have a hysterectomy before the age of 30 from what we think was PCOS before they knew what PCOS was, after she had 3 kids. So while they try to be supportive they don't fully understand. There are 87 kids, grand, and great grand kids from my grandma down on my dads side and my mom is the youngest of 7. So they weren't lyinf when they said I come from a family of producers ha ha
Before I got PG with DS I didn't handle it very well at all. I was angry, bitter, and jealous of everyone around me that seemed to have it so easy. I felt broken, and very depressed. But the more research I did and learned that this condition is more common than I thought the easier it got. When I learned that I had options and could take control of a few of my symptoms I focused my energy that way.